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Thread: Persevere in this relationship or end it ?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
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    Persevere in this relationship or end it ?

    Hello, I will try to be thorough and objective as much as I can.
    So I met a girl one year older than (we are around 25-30) me , and we started this relationship about 4 months ago. we met through an acquaintance and after seeing her a copple times, i eventually kissed her and voila
    Things went really cool for the first two months because she was let's say more available between hollidays and so on, so we were seeing each other pretty much 3-4 times a week and then things started to go bad somehow...
    We started to see each other once to twice a week very casually and most of the times it was always with her circle of friends (i moved to a new country recently so obviously I don't know much people around yet but it didn't really
    bother me at all to meet her friends anyways). So I told her about ten days ago that we should probably see each other more than once or twice a week if we wanted to move forward in our relationship and seeing each other once or
    twice a week most of the time with other people won't really go anywhere. She did say I had a point. After talking this point over, it seemed like it had an effect since she invited me over the week end at her friend's place... but
    i said yes anyways since it's better than nothing. After we spent the week end together, i thought everything went well and there all of a sudden i receive a message where she is basically blaming me for let me quote "I don't talk
    much, We don't laugh together, and i'm not cuddling enough with her". From my point of view when we went to sleep together I told her good night and sweet dreams because she was basically saying the past few hours how tired and
    exhausted she was; prior to this event she blamed me for not letting her rest from her workload when I invited her over at my place the week end; so obviously I was like i'm not gonna bother her with chitchat or cuddle and let her
    rest. As a result, I'm getting blamed for it in addition of being apparently too nice and me not talking alot with her if that makes any sense to you ? (please enlight me)
    From where I stand, I feel like i'm always the one trying to chat with her and her answers are most of the time the type of "Yes" or "Not", or "good" and so on which are a dead end if you ask me, so I'm like trying hard enough to make her
    feel at ease by avoiding any blanks and leading the talk. I'm also the one asking her out to go eat with me , go for a drink or a movie together most of the time, she will never say hey let's do this or that tonight , and as if it wasn't enough
    her answers are like most of the time "I don't know yet" or "I will let you know","I'm very tired from work I don't think I can" and so on which makes me i'm the only one tryharding in this relationship. Dont get me wrong, i get that
    everyone is tired from his routine, but hey I'm working too and you don't hear me telling her 24/7 I'm tired...
    So apparently after all this, I'm being given a chance by her to see if things will improve and I will do better with her...I mean is this like my fault objectively speaking ?
    If you want any more details, I will let you know.
    should I persevere into such a relationship (if yes what should I do obviously?) or just end it ?
    thx for your answers in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
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    Latvia
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    5,054
    Well man it seems like easy part is over and now reality steps in. You should continue if you want things like thst. Her being your queen and you just working to make relationship work. If you dont want to be only one making efford then you should talk things out with her and let her see how much you are doing and how littlw she is doing. So if that dont change anything then leave.

    Right now you are giver but girl just takes without providing any value.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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