Hey everyone....Martin here!

[Martin Brault]

Hi! How is everyone doing? I am a 50 year old single male who is currently living in Saginaw Michigan. I've been single now going on three years, and I'm not really sure if I'm ready to date again. A part of me wants too, and another part is kinda of against it. I want to be able share my love, and be loved back. But I just don't want to be hurt again. And, I cannot give 100% of myself to another woman when a part of my heart still loves another. And even crazier is, the woman who hurt me the most, is the very person my heart still loves. Like I said, crazy. But nevertheless, buy joining this forum. And if I do at some point in my life decide to put myself out there and date again, I will gain some valuable tools and advice from other in this forum. I don't really consider myself a love guru, so what I learn from this forum well be appreciated. So please welcome me.

Thank You!

[AdminOnline]

Welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion. Enjoy your stay here...

[Martin Brault]

Thank you....

[lovesickheart]

I have advice for you! Because Im the equivalent of the first girl you will "try" dating again with. I went out with the equivalent of "you"... still carrying his ex wife in your heart, only going out with "me" because you couldn't have her, because she wouldn't take you back. Six months later, as "my" heart and head thinks we were moving forward into a relationship.... she comes back, tells you she cant live without you, wants to try again, and is willing to go to counseling to make it work. You win. And "my" heart is broken, wondering why you didn't choose me.
My advice to you Martin... PLEASE don't date anyone until you are no longer in love with your ex. Go to some singles events or join some groups, sure... but please don't "try" to get over your ex by dating someone else. Let your heart be available and open to loving someone else before you move on with someone else. Go hang out with the guys, or take up cycling if youre bored... don't play games with someone else's heart if you are not available to fall in love. OR... at least make it CRYSTAL CLEAR from the very beginning that you are not emotionally available. And no matter what you say... the fact that you said "I cannot give 100% of myself to another woman when a part of my heart still loves another".... tells me that you are nowhere near ready to date again.
To those that will say that "dating" doesn't necessarily mean getting into a relationship with someone... I say that's false... at our age Martin.. yes, it does. I don't know anyone our age that is out there "just dating around".
I hope this doesn't sound harsh... I would be happy to talk with you further. But the things you posted could be written by the guy that broke my heart when his dream came true and she came back... once again...

[Martin Brault]

I have advice for you! Because Im the equivalent of the first girl you will "try" dating again with. I went out with the equivalent of "you"... still carrying his ex wife in your heart, only going out with "me" because you couldn't have her, because she wouldn't take you back. Six months later, as "my" heart and head thinks we were moving forward into a relationship.... she comes back, tells you she cant live without you, wants to try again, and is willing to go to counseling to make it work. You win. And "my" heart is broken, wondering why you didn't choose me.
My advice to you Martin... PLEASE don't date anyone until you are no longer in love with your ex. Go to some singles events or join some groups, sure... but please don't "try" to get over your ex by dating someone else. Let your heart be available and open to loving someone else before you move on with someone else. Go hang out with the guys, or take up cycling if youre bored... don't play games with someone else's heart if you are not available to fall in love. OR... at least make it CRYSTAL CLEAR from the very beginning that you are not emotionally available. And no matter what you say... the fact that you said "I cannot give 100% of myself to another woman when a part of my heart still loves another".... tells me that you are nowhere near ready to date again.
To those that will say that "dating" doesn't necessarily mean getting into a relationship with someone... I say that's false... at our age Martin.. yes, it does. I don't know anyone our age that is out there "just dating around".
I hope this doesn't sound harsh... I would be happy to talk with you further. But the things you posted could be written by the guy that broke my heart when his dream came true and she came back... once again...

I want to thank you for responding to this post, and I want you to know that I appreciate the feedback and advice. And I couldn't agree with you more, this is why I have decided not to date at this current time. It is for the exact reason that you mentioned in respect to your experience regarding an ex, and his love for another woman, that keeps me from seeking out a relationship. If I can't give my all in a relationship due to the fact that I still have feelings lingering for an ex, I just can't bring myself to do it. The last thing I want to do is break a woman's heart, at least not intentionally.
Like you, I too was in a relationship with a woman I loved and still love, who was unable to give me her all. As a matter of fact, she is the ex in which I still have lingering feelings for. I know the pain, and it hurts. I was in a relationship with this woman for two years, and I loved her more than I loved another. But her heart belonged to another man, so she was unable to love me. I guess because she was lonely, perhaps I was just convenient. Just a warm body to have around. So I completely understand what your saying.

[lovesickheart]

I was afraid my reply to you was too harsh so thanks for understanding. That pain he caused is why I sought out someplace (here) to express my pain. It still hurts.
Do you think you could go to some social events to "get out there" but not actually "date" someone that is looking for something real? Also, what would it take for you to move on?
Is your ex keeping hope alive somehow? That's the part that sucks! I hope you find a way to cut the cord and be free to get to know someone else! good luck to you!!

[Martin Brault]

I was afraid my reply to you was too harsh so thanks for understanding. That pain he caused is why I sought out someplace (here) to express my pain. It still hurts.
Do you think you could go to some social events to "get out there" but not actually "date" someone that is looking for something real? Also, what would it take for you to move on?
Is your ex keeping hope alive somehow? That's the part that sucks! I hope you find a way to cut the cord and be free to get to know someone else! good luck to you!!

No, it wasn't harsh at all. As a matter of fact your reply was much welcome.

I actually do go out to what I consider social events. But when I do, I really don't look for a mate. And that's because like I said, I'm not ready to date again. As for moving on, I think it's going to take time. I really loved her, deeply. As for now, I'm just working on me. That is, learning to love me again. And no, my ex is not keeping hope alive. As a matter of fact, I honestly think she wishes I were dead. And I'm serious!

[lovesickheart]

Wow! Well now THAT is harsh! LOL!

[Martin Brault]

Wow! Well now THAT is harsh! LOL!

Maybe a little! Lol!