How to befriend a girl you like?

[Confused2468]

So there is this girl at school that I like and want to ask out. We hang out at school and talk some but have never hung out outside of school. I would like to become friends with her outside of school before asking her out. But my problem is how do you befriend a girl you like and ask her to hang out? If I ask her to the movies or to dinner I'm afraid she will think its a date. I'm also afraid if I do ask her to the movies and tell her that we're just going as friends then she will think I'm not interested in dating her. I thought about a group date but there not really up my alley for a number of reasons. Anyway I'm just wondering how to befriend her outside of school so I can become closer to her (doing stuff outside of school) and eventually ask her out on a date. I might even be completely wrong about the entire process but from my understanding it's best to befriend a girl and get to know her better and then ask her out on a date. I've heard over and over to become friends and hang out with a girl before asking her out so I'm just wondering how I do this. Sorry if I just wrote a book lol

[basilandthyme]

Have you got any common interests? Can you have a jam session with her? Or some type of sport? Or gaming?

No approach is foolproof though - my 14yo daughter asked a guy at school (who she had good conversation with) if he'd want to play some guitar with her over the school holidays. Like you, she was wanting to get closer via friendship and work towards more. He choked and has barely spoken a word to her since. But don't let an outcome like this kill you - she got over it and found herself a new guy who she's now dating and very fond of. Actually *besotted* is the word I'd use for both of them

Not trying to put you off.....just letting you know that a crash and burn is not the end for you.

[Mattiemae]

There really is no simple answer to it, you just have to move past the fears, and saying friendship is fine. It just gives you away out if you find out you really don't want to date her. Either way if she likes you she will love going with you even if it is friends. I was one that always hung out with the guys, so yes this is not a big deal if you say friends first. You will get a feel whether you like her and she likes you. If she doesn't you will find out right away just like the story above, where the guy hasn't talked to her again. On the other hand you may find you are just taking things slow and you both like each other. Just stay positive about it, it's not the end of the world, and of course there are plenty of other opportunities coming your way with other girls if this one doesn't work out. Trust me! lol I remember being so worried about it when I was younger, and had plenty of opportunities to meet men along the way. Some I left at the curbside, while others I enjoyed.