My relationship has ended and i really do not know how to handle it, any advice?

[Diamondsnpearls]

Me and my ex were together for almost 9 months, we were very happy. never really had a serious argument and got on really well.. not once did we ever even speak about breaking up even if once in a blue moon we had a serious argument. the last couple months of the relationship i started to spend ALOT of time there with him, and i don't think it was good for either of us, he stopped seeing his friends as much and i think he kind of blamed me for that.. we had a couple big arguments and he said he wasn't sure he wanted this relationship anymore, at one point he said it would be a good idea if we had some time apart and if i left for a bit. i left for about two weeks, during these two weeks he said to me its not a good idea if i come back and that we're clinging onto something that wont work.. a few days after he said to me that was totally untrue, he is 100% sure about what he wants and that he will prove it to me when i went to see him, so after a few more days i went to see him, he treated me with respect, took me out for dinner treated me so nicely just like he used to. i stayed there for two weeks. the first week he was so good to me and we were so happy to be in eachothers company again and missed each other so much. a few days before i left we started to argue a little again. and the day i was leaving, he said to me it's not fair if he leads me along and that this is it now. but he also said to me "just give it a month and see how we get on" i said to him i don't think it's right to breakup and that we have a good future to come. he then said to me that he agrees but now just isn't the time. when i left he gave me a quick kiss and told me he loves me. he looked so upset like he was about to cry and said he will miss me. (by the way tuesday night was when i left) i always knew he loves me that was never ever questinable. he thought the world of me and i'm pretty sure he still does. he also said he doesn't want to talk to me that night i left as he would end up changing his mind again. so we didn't talk for very long and he just said "goodnight for now" since tuesday night he hasn't text me or called me not even once. and i havn't either because i know i will feel worse if i do that as i want him to talk to me. i feel so hurt and upset, i'm crying every 5 minutes. we both still love eachother so much it's like he's done all of this just to get more time with his mates almost. and saying hes not ready to 'settle down' but we're not settling down. we're not getting married or anything like that we were just having a happy relationship. and in the past couple months he just changed his mind alot. he says this is it now then he also said lets give it a month and see how we get on, so what am i supposed to do? i wish he could just know what he wants 100% then i'd feel better. i don't know why he hasn't spoken to me since either.. maybe he's realised how much better of he is without me. he wouldn't text me to say "im enjoying my time on my own we wont see eachother again" as he already said this is it.. i really am heartbroken and people are saying go out with friends blah blah blah, i done that but it was still on my mind 24/7 and i just had that sick feeling every second. i feel almost let down, and ignored even though i haven't texted him so he has nothing to reply to..i'm a mess i just don't know what to do. he was the first person i ever felt this strongly about. i wish we could go back to being happy and put all this crap behind us. but with him not knowing what he wants it's impossible.

[AdminOnline]

Hello Diamondsnpearls, welcome aboard. Enjoy your visits.