Am I getting crazy?

[petka]

Hi, I would like to hear your opinion about 3 things that happened to me with my boyfriend. He says I am difficult and that those things are ok, but I dont think so...
1. he always comes home at 7pm on my days off and I always wait for him with dinner. I knew he had important meeting at work, very stressful and I know that he suffers from anxieties and he has history of breakdown and suicidal thoughts. He didnt come home , didnt text so I was really scared as I didnt even know how meeting went. I was texting him from 6pm , sent few messages where he is. He wrote me 8.40pm that he is with colleagues drinking in a bar. I wrote him back that I was really worried and its horrible that I went shopping , wanted to cook for us and he didnt even txt, so we will make rules and I want to spend time with him as well, as he promised. He said there was no signal anywhere where he was (London). He came home at midnight and told me he showed my text message to his colleagues with saying "This is what I am coming home to" and they were shocked.
I think its very disrespectful to show to other people my messages and complain about me, specially if they dont know the whole story why I worried about him.

2.I have dinner on voucher, cost me some money so I wanted to go with him on Sunday evening. He says he cant go, because he needs to talk to his parents on skype and wants to do it when I am not at home, so he cant do it on Saturday. He only can do it during time I paid for dinner and |I will lose money if we dont go. He said he also needs to sleep before Monday work.
I find it just so horrible, no effort from his side whatsoever. I cant believe that I am losing 40 for dinner I paid, because he needs to talk to his parents only Sunday evening (by the way I am not at home 3 days after, so he could do it anytime then). He doesnt want to go for dinner, as he would come home at 23pm and waking up to work at 7am, while when he went for drink with colleagues he came home at midnight and that was ok.
We have common interest walking and only time we can do it together is before my nightshift, so when I asked him if we could just walk only 4 miles or so, he says thats nothing and it needs to be about 10miles, at least 5 hours of walking before my 8 hours nightshift, and he is angry if I say we should make it shorter, while he cant even go with me for dinner evening before his work.

3.I pay him 500gbp for rent, which is lot of money and half of his mortgage.But I cant use heating, I have to wash dishes only the way he tells me to, as he saves the water and soon after I met him he told me not to splush toilette either (he changed it since). Heating is set up on twice/day, when he comes from work and when he goes to work , those times I am usually not at home.
When I am not at home its set up on 17degrees, but as heating is off , I am here in 14 degrees celsia. He says I could use boost from time to time, but boost doesnt help in that short time and I find it very unfair heating is set up on times that he needs it, not both of us. When I complained that I am freezing he said I will need to pay more for rent or move out, but when I lived with my ex and we shared the rent for brand new flat, I paid less than here, so why should I pay even more?

He tells me I am unbelievebly difficult and I just dont know what should I do. Can you please just tell me what do you think about those 3 things, is it me who is wrong?

[michelle23]

He has no respect for you. It takes nothing to send a quick text to say "ill be late tonight" and then to show your messages to work colleagues and insult you/humiliate you?

Why does he need to go on skype when your not there? That sounds fishy to me. Do you trust him?

And he expects you to sit in a freezing cold house? My bf would never give out to me for turning on the heating. We normally split bills etc but the other night he brought home a million blocks for the fire and two bags of coal and refused to take money off me for them.. If you argue and fight over bills or money-its just added stress that nobody needs especially if he can afford to go out drinking for 6 hours.. He sounds like a tight ass..

What are you getting out of this relationship? Do you even love him? Or are you just unhappy most days? How long have you been together? Is he in a better place now emotionally/mentally?Give more info.

[pinktulips]

I agree with michelle23. This man clearly does not respect you and I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like you are more of a housemate and one without equal rights.

Edit: (sorry did not word this correctly) Are you absolutely sure that he recognizes your relationship, because his behaviour suggests that he treats you more as someone to help pay the bills.

[bearz]

This guy is treating you like crap, there is no reason whatsoever why you should have to put up with all of this. Not letting you use the heater? REALLY? Are you his slave? You are not being difficult, he's the one being difficult.

[michelle23]

lol washing the dishes a certain way? not allowed flush the toilet. That is either OCD or control freak. If someone told me how to wash the dishes-I would throw the cloth at them and tell them "do it yourself then" *angry face*