relationship advise please

[Broken smile]

hi this is my first post so please excuse me if im not playing by the rules!

just some advise please!

I have been dating my partner for the last 7 months! firstly there is an age difference of 17 years! im 22 he is 39 but this has never bothered me but i think it bothers him!

anyway when i met him he was living with his ex partner! they were together 12 years and are still friends to a point! he had left her for 2years and came back to live in his house 2months prior to meeting me!

this is where the difficulty lies!

when he started seeing me he decided to ask her to leave. he told me he couldnt tell her was seeing anyone else because she would fight him for a stake in the house which i understand she is entitled too! he has offered her five grand to leave and she has accepted! he has a claim going through at the moment for an accident he had at work a few years ago and should be receiveing the money soon!

so she wont leave until she has the money!
even as i am writing this i feel a fool!

so i am with him i know him and her! only a couple of his friends know about us because most of the others are her cousins or brothers! so i feel like we are a lie!

we have nowhere to go i recently moved back in with family because i couldnt afford to keep up a fata i had! he wasnt happy but i was hoping it would push things along!

so our sex life has become non existent! we go out together all the time i work evenings in a pub but he comes in everynight i work! i see him most nights im not working (we drive out to wierd pubs) but there are the occasional nights when he says to her he is going up the pub and she asks if she can go with him! now his excuse is she doesnt think im seeing anyone so why would it be a problem!

but i hate it! i just want everyone to know im with him! we are arguing all the time lately because i hate being let down by him! but he cant understand it!

i always question whether he is still with her he tells me no and the circumstances seem that way! she thinks he is with someone else and has even started seeing someone herself but when i ask him to just tell her then he brings up the whole it will go to court and she will be there for ages!

anyway it has come to it now that he says im mad and keep hassling him but my only problem lies with him living with another woman! he is asking me to be patient surely he can put up with a bit of hassle until she is gone!


i feel like just finishing with him i said to him why dont we cool it off until you have everything sorted but he didnt want that i dont really i love being with him other than these arguments over her we get on really well. we have the same sense of humour we have talked about spending our lives together and kids etc.

i just dont know whether i am being taken for a fool

can i have your opinions please?

[lisa85]

I'm really sorry to say this, but I think something is still going on between your b/f and his "ex".. If it wasn't he would have done everything he could to make her move out.. Anyway, I can't be sure, but if this continues much longer you should get rid of him.. You're obviously not his priority.. This has been going on for 7 months..! I've been stupid like this myself before.. If he loves you he'd see his hurting you and move out, not wait for her to!

You say he can't tell her that you and him are together? Well, excuse me, but he's almost telling you that something is going on between them.. I'm sorry to say it, but if it wasn't (and they were just friends) then she would not have any problems dealing with the fact that you and him are going out! Why should that be a problem to her if they are nothing but friends?! She has no reason getting mad because of that if there is nothing romanticly going on between them!

I'm sorry to say that I believe that this man is taking you for a fool and lying to you..

[mhussain]

yes tell him that if he doesnt find a solution soon then things might not work out between u and him.

u do not deserve to live a lie with a guy whom u like..........

i understand the house lease part but surely he can do something to speed it up....also be aawake in such relationships ok?!!!!!!


hope things work out for you

Hussain

[Borko]

Tell him to choose!
The faster the better. The more you prolong the harder it's going to be. I think that hi likes to sit on two chairs. Give him few days to tell her and then,if he doesnt tell her, YOU tell her. It's going to be bad, bat it will be worst later.

[MaRTiaL RaGe]

Here's some advice...get off the computer and fix yo' shiznit!