We became close friends... -story gone wrong. Advice needed.

[Minee2090]

Hi there, fellow forum-ers!

I'm here to get advice on my current situation.

5 months ago, I met this guy. We're both in our early 20s. We hang out in our group very often (3-4 times a week).

After a month, me and him started chatting. From then on, we got to know each other on a more personal level. He tells me about his family, his life, things that he does and me, vice versa. Our chats are usually at night and either one of us would initiate it. This went on for around 2 months.

Then, came an important event for me (and 2 of our mutual friends). He attended and spent the whole time with me and my sister because our 2 mutual friends left very early. All my friends thought we're dating. After the event, he got even closer to me. Our chats became a daily-habit and he showed real signs of liking me. These are very typical signs - i would elaborate if anyone wants me too. It's something that I can feel it. He's obviously very happy when I'm around. It's like we have something intimate going on between us two only. And I've also consulted few good friends of mine (mature people who have experience in relationships, not giggly high school kids) and they agreed that he has feelings for me too.

But, it became increasingly difficult for me to be close friends and not pursue it further. On one night, I was in a bad mood and confronted him about it. We had a honest talk and it turns out that he only treats me as a close close friend (his closest). So, we promised to remain as close friends only. It was okay for the 1st 3 weeks. I had a few minor meltdowns (it's not easy to close friends and have feelings too) and I talked to him about it. We talked it out and our friendship became stronger day by day.

However, for the past 2 weeks, our expectations for each other grew. He expected me to share everything (eg: what am i to tomorrow?) with him but when I refuse to, he got very upset with me because "close friends are supposed to share everything with each other, no?". I disagreed with him and explained that i'm a private person in nature. The conversation didn't end very well. I too, sometimes get confused with the way he behaves around me. He teases me more than usual, pokes my ribs, silly things that only a couple would do.

We had few more (stupid) arguments since then and on Wednesday night, I said "let's not talk for few days.". I wanted some space to get some perspective and get away for awhile. Our friendship became intense and it feels like we're in a relationship. He didn't respond too well to my request and even poke fun, calling me "emo" (I really hate it when people calls me this).

This morning, I messaged him and he ignored my messages. It was pretty obvious that he's mad/upset with me. Thing is, I don't understand why he's upset with me. We're only close friends. Why would he be upset at me for wanting some space? And, this is the 1st time that he ignored me.

I hope to get insight from you guys and girls. What do you all think and how should I go about this? I'm not ready to lose this friendship. He's a really great guy.
If anyone needs any elaboration, please tell me and I'll do so. ^ This is only a short (quite long, i know ._.) summary.

Thank you so much.

[searock]

You are in an emotional relationship... Did he tell you *why* he doesn't want to be in a "complete" relationship with you? What were the reasons?

If it's because he isn't physically attracted to you, then I'm afraid there's nothing you can do but cut contact with him and move on. Being friends with someone you have strong feelings for can suck away your happiness one day at a time, I've been there so I know. You will be happier once you've removed him from your life. It's sad, but it's the way it has to be, if you want to be happy.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Agreed. Stop talking to him altogether. I know you guys share a social circle but, aside from saying, hello to him in the group, I think you should cut all conversations very short. Tell him that he knows how you feel about him, and friendship will not work for you. Ignore any attempt at one on one contact he makes with you.