Is it wrong

[J.Fuchs]

For me to want sex so bad? We're both 18 and we have been together nearly 3 years now. After we had been dating for about 6 months we had sex for the first time (we were both virgins prior). It wasn't do great, but it was the first time...
We went crazy after that basically whenever we saw each other we'd have sex, it was great we were closer than ever. Since then, she started feeling bad became a Christian etc so she decided no more sex, I thought this was just a phase so I didn't push it, I respected her opinion on the matter. This really put a strain on the relationship, we were fighting often (not about anything in particular, just stupid little things) and it was really getting to us, to the point we nearly called it offa few times.

It has now been about 6 months since we last had sex, and it's really starting to frustrate me.

We very rarely make out anymore either, which isn't helping the frustration for me.

I love this girl but I don't know what to do...

We have had a few conversations about it already and every time she just brushes it off and says if you just want sex then go somewhere else, I would never ever cheat on her... If I was even considering cheating I'd know I wasn't in love and I would end things.

Has anyone else had to go through something like this? And how do I deal with this by both respecting her beliefs/opinions and satisfying my own needs.

[Boisdevie]

And how do I deal with this by both respecting her beliefs/opinions and satisfying my own needs.

You can't square this circle. You want sex and she doesn't. So you either accept the lack of sex and stay with her or finish it and find someone who will give you what you need. My own view? End it. A happy sex life is a major part of a successful relationship.

[J.Fuchs]

I appreciate your response - I don't want to end things, I would rather go without sex for a while than end things, what we have isn't a normal relationship, I don't want to lose that.

All I'm asking is if this is something most girls her age go through, if so how long will it take to wear off? I only think this is a phase because we were going nuts before.. Then all of a sudden she started to feel bad and declare Christianity.

We also do a bit of other stuff as well, like oral (both ways, but I never get to finish which frustrates me greatly). Heck, the other night we jumped in the shower together and I had her up against the shower screen, it felt so right but the she just changed her mind and wanted to get out. I'm sure a lot of guys would understand my frustration here...

Now she says we're not ready?

How would you define being ready? It felt so right before, it brought us closer and made us stronger, isn't that what sex is supposed to do? Apart from the whole baby thing...

[Boisdevie]

Now she says we're not ready?

So oral is OK, naked in the shower is OK. She sounds like a real cockteaser. I'd give her some of her own medecine. Back off completely on physical attention. But I'd still dump her. Life is way too short to put up with shit like this.

[smackie9]

This isn't the first time I have seen a story like this. If she has gone Christian she has already started the process of pushing to end this relationship. Dude the writing is on the wall, she wants out.

[Boisdevie]

Dude the writing is on the wall, she wants out.

Well it's pretty clear that anal is right out of the equation.

[Illusional]

uhhh.... maybe she is no longer interested in you.

raverboy

[marriageplease]

I understand both of your sides, I know how frustrating it is to want the person that you love the most in the world, to want them and not be able to have them when theyre right in front of you. My bf and i have that problem for exactly the same reason you have it. We both were also virgins when we fell in love and both cristians, we both felt bad after losing our virginity to each other and many times we have tried to stop because it bothers the both of us.... but we keep coming back to the bed together. We cant stop, and sometimes i hate that i feel bad about it, Im mostly the one that wants to stop and I always give in to him..... she wants you to marry her. If she wanted you to dump her she would do it herself, theres a reason why she is still with you and keeps teasing you and claiming christianity, marriage is what she wants, you should propose to her and if she rejects then talk to her about what it is that she needs from you. If you really love her then you will try to find what she's missing. I wish I hadnt ever slept with my boyfriend, maybe it would give him motivation to marry me sooner and not wait so long.... I think that when guys are happily having sex with the girl they love they lose the motivation to actually think about marriage, think about it.

[smackie9]

".... I think that when guys are happily having sex with the girl they love they lose the motivation to actually think about marriage," This is a load of bs.

The desire to marry should come from the heart, not the genitals.

[Maple1714]

Is her family religious? Maybe things just got too intense for her and she wanted to stop for a while...sex is a big deal to some girls at first. It can bring up intense feelings that she has never experienced before...so maybe she wants to hold off until she knows you will marry her. I think the religious aspect is just what she has clung to at the moment to help her deal with her feelings. Just talk to her and be there for her...you could maybe give her a promise ring or something to help symbolize that you are very serious about staying with her. Oral sex is sex too btw... Is she taking any form of birth control?

[lylufy]

Why don't you try to join with her christian ? To understand why she changed ?
She got what new thing in her mind about sex?
Did you ask her why her express opposite before? I see that, she was also gone mad in sex !
Maybe her belief curb her in sex.
She had changed, so if you really love you not by intimate, so through deeper in her mind to know what happen?
Good luck !

[AlexS]

she just sounds like a bible basher to me like, not gonna change whilst thats in the mix. people are obviously entitled to their opinions though. and you cant change that. I dont think its normal for someone to suddenly declare something that extreme and life changing if they are enjoying what they are doing.

maybe you should marry her.......

[aki]

My friend is in a similar situation, she's been with her boyfriend for 3 years and they stiill haven't had sex 'cause they were too young when they started dating, and now all of his pushing is just driving her crazy and she won't have sex with him. It's a constant bump in their relationship but he loves her too much so he decided to go with it. I guess if you really want to be with her you should maybe back off a bit, and think hard about whether she's worth it. And the Christianity part, I guess she's scared of something, maybe she doesn't trust you anymore or she's scared of what people will say. Have you talked to a lot of people about that? Because if you have, it might be that she doesn't want your intimacy to be shared with others. You just have to think about pros and cons and decide if you want to fight for the relationship.

[Boisdevie]

My friend is in a similar situation, she's been with her boyfriend for 3 years and they stiill haven't had sex 'cause they were too young when they started dating, and now all of his pushing is just driving her crazy and she won't have sex with him. It's a constant bump in their relationship but he loves her too much so he decided to go with it.

I bet he's got an excellent blister on the end of his knob from all that masturbating. What a class A tit.

[aki]

Yeah, he jokes about that a lot, but it's more of a "I just want to die or **** something soon but I can't so I'll joke about it" kind of joke.