dated neighbor, big mistake

[ccl8989]

Guess my summary says it all. Basically, I moved into my apartment complex and the same week, a good looking guy moved in the apartment across the walkway.

We went on a few dates, talked. I haven't dated in years (single mom). This was so new to me again that didn't know the windstorm that hit me. He is six years younger than me and he's divorced but no kids.

Our conversations were good and all but on the third or fourth day, I got the intuition this guy was just chasing tail and I was the convenient girl next door. I didn't say anything at that point, just kept it to myself. We almost had sex that night but decided not to, that it should wait. Slowly, his hanging around seemed to taper off.

We went on a date on Saturday eve a week into it. Dinner consisted of a "Roadhouse-type" place. He'd make conversation but whenever it was my turn to speak, he'd get lost looking at waitress's boobs & butts and turn around to me and say, "huh?" I was offended by this but still didn't say anything but he could see I was sort of distant by this point. He called off the rest of the date on account of a "tummy ache." I felt pretty blown off because I paid $30 for a babysitter, I felt the least he could do on his end was finish the evening tummy ache or not.

After we got home, I made the awkward phone call to tell him that I didn't think it was gonna work because we are neighbors & if we got in a fight, it would be awkward to live here. I asked if he would come outside to talk about it and from that point, a text war ensued for two days. I also wanted to temporarily end it because of pending job internship, trying to fit in time w/my kids, and all the responsibilities that go along with single parenting. I felt like if he is the person for me, he'd understand and be patient.

The next night, I felt like I may as well get the piece of a** after all if it was going to be over anyway so I invited him over & we had a meaningless sexual encounter. (Turned out to be a $100 piece of a** as you'll read below.)

The next day, we had another text war. Let me also add that before our Saturday night date (the one called off for "tummy ache", I googled and found out that he had a warrant for his arrest for DUI. During the final text war, that came up but more of my suggestion for him to go pay it or take care of it. It was the first entry in google, I didn't have to search hard to find his DUI warrant but from there, I got painted as psycho on his facebook & he posted all kinds of nasty words about me.

I have not texted, called, or spoke to him for one week officially. The problem is that as I told him, it is very awkward now to even go on my porch to have a smoke or take my dog out to potty because his living room window is 10 feet away.

Looking on his facebook back for a 2 year period, he seems like a very bitter, jaded person and I feel like my intuition is right. I am not a stalker chick but I feel like I have the right to google any potential mate for arrests & warrants because I have kids.

Is there any constructive way to at least end the cold war between us so we can go back to being neighbors in harmony...no relationship, just neighbors. Also...that one sexual encounter w/him led to $100 worth of antibiotics so no, no relationship w/that EVER but I just want to get along so I don't have to move and break my lease. I haven't told him about the need for antibiotics, figured that would get me painted REALLY bad on facebook. Advice??

[MerryH]

So you used someone for sex and it turned out badly? Wow, I've never heard of that happening before.

Why are you engaging in "text wars" with him and what is your question here? Just stop talking to him. Yeah, it's going to be awkward, but it is always awkward after you use someone for sex. Them's the breaks.