Listen to warnings or give it a chance?

[Riku]

I've known this guy for the past year and we have found ourselves getting into some pretty serious relationship talks. I've liked him (as a friend) from the moment I met him, he is extremely nice to everyone he meets, he is always willing to help anyone and everyone. I don't think I've met someone as generous and just overall good with people as he is.

That being said, when I met him he was in a relationship and I became friends with him and his girlfriend over the past year. They broke up 4 months ago and it kind of happened in front of our group of friends. They were arguing away from everyone, he was drunk, she ended up leaving and immediately moved out of his place. Over the past year I had only seen him get obscenely drunk twice in the month leading up to them breaking up. After she left I talked to her to make sure she was ok and she said that she left him because she had given him an ultimatum that if he got drunk again she would leave and so she did. After that I did see him drunk a couple more times and it's not very pretty.

I noticed that since we started talking he hasn't gotten drunk once. I don't think I have ever seen him so happy and it's great, I feel the same as he does. I'm concerned though because I have a small child and I can't have a relationship with someone who is an alcoholic, which I don't think he is but now one of his male friends is telling me to stay away from him and I'm confused about all of it. ( I am also very good friends with this male friend )

His friend has told me that he is just gonna hurt me and that he drinks all the time. When I mentioned this to him, I just said that someone told me to stay away from him, his response was that he knows who it was and that he is just jealous. He also told me that his ex didn't leave him, they were fighting about her flirting with other guys and he told her to leave.

I feel in my heart that he drinks when he is depressed which is not ideal but I can understand it on a certain level. ( I don't drink AT ALL though) I just don't know if I should take the friends warnings and not get involved. But on the other hand, I really really like this guy. I have a great feeling about him and in my head I'm telling myself that just because someone may drink when they are depressed doesn't mean that they can't find someone and be happy and overcome it. Is all the gossip a reason to stay away from someone?

Sorry this is really long!

[hello1]

You saw first hand a woman who had to leave him because he got drunk. You have no ideal what this woman went through with him, you seen his drunk side as a friend. Imagine what he was like too her to make her give him a warning. All I can say is watch and see but you have a child to look out for here, not just you

[sweetkissesforu]

You know this guy you commicate with this guy why listen to every1 else listen to your heart

[smackie9]

You know this guy you commicate with this guy why listen to every1 else listen to your heart

I disagree with this. I come from a family of alcoholics and I have first hand experience in dealing with this sort of thing. Alcoholics are good liars. They will deny that they have a problem and will go out of their way to put the blame on someone else. You saw first hand the ending of his last relationship was because of his drinking. Heed the warnings from the ones that are the closet to him. Hello1 is right. You have no idea what his ex actually went through to lead up to that night. You have a responsibility to your child, why risk it?

[xxazurexx]

Having been married to a man for 10 years who liked the booze and who got druink often, I'd avoid him like the effing plague!!!

Agree with Smackie....people with an obvious problem, never admit to having a problem and I'd take notice of those who know him best.