situation with someone i work with

[clarencejones]

Hi there! This is my first post! Im new to the forums because in general I normally ask my friends this kind of stuff, but I phoned one up yesterday explaining my situation and his response was to laugh, which I found less than helpful!

So basically I work in a job, and like most jobs every month payday rolls around and we go out as a big group and get drunk some where. To not go out would be a huge social faux pas and a work mate promised me he would be coming out (though turns out he wasnt there <_<) so i went.

Anyway during the course of the night i owed another mate a drink, and every time i came back with his drink he would be outside smoking, or in the toilet etc, and so a girl i work with insisted i drank his. This i meant i had to go and get more, and i still couldnt find him and kept drinking his drinks i meant to be getting him along with mine etc, Long story short i got more drunk than i normally do on nights out with people i work with.

This resulted in me dancing off with the girl i work with, carrying her down my town high street, going to another club and making out, snogging her in there etc. We then went back to her mates house and crashed on her sofa. an hour later her housemates came in and woke us up, and for the rest of the night were very loud in general. I didnt have work the next morning, but the girl i had gotten with did, and in the end she went off to work with about an hours sleep in her. My first question is should i have told the housemates to quieten down? I mean its not like it was my house to do so, but im worried that by not doing so i came off a little uncaring or even worse cowardly in her eyes. I dunno.

anyway she goes off to work, and i got her number, and txt her at lunch, she replies back friendly, saying how she is shattered, wishes she didnt had to work and gave a text kiss etc. I replied two more texts but never got replies to those. the last one was sent at 18:00 on sat, and its sun morning now so...
should i text her back,
or should i wait, for a text,
or should i wait till monday where we will both be working
or should i phone her and ask her out?

The thing about my office, is its very gossipy. when calls arent coming in, everyone is emailing each other, and i know i am going to be asked how i feel about her, what happened on the night etc things i generally cant answer till ive had another conversation with her first. Also if its left till monday even if she does like me she might have to deny stuff when ppl ask her etc

Im friends with her mate on facebook, and she did say she liked me, but i am wondering if thats before or after she had those drinks, and whether the lack of a response from those last two texts is any indicator as to whether its worth trying to speak to her before i turn up to work on the monday with all the whispering.

[clarencejones]

I would be grateful for any advice on this! Thanks in advance!

[VincenzoG91]

There was no harm in the first two text messages, but that third one was one too many. She may be worried about the potential awkwardness at work and has decided to back away from this situation. That would explain her lack of response to your later texts.

Next time you're at work, just downplay everything to the co-workers. Practice saying things like "I had too much to drink that night." Be nice to her but don't be especially friendly unless she is friendly to you. Be ready to act like nothing happened, but take a cue from her behavior.

I'm assuming this job doesn't play a pivotal role in your career plans, so you can afford to take some chances here. However, if this job is really important to you, then I recommend avoiding the potential hassles in dating a co-worker.

[clarencejones]

thanks for the advice i appreciate it!

ok so i got replies back, and we added on facebk and chatted but she had to go have dinner apparently, since then i havent sent her anything else and im just going to roll in work tomoro and see how it is.

I think your right about the downplaying definately best to play it safe, I just wouldnt want to be seen distancing myself too much when i do genuinely like her, if she heard me doing that she could be totally pissed, even if i did try and pick it up again when we were more alone.

But yeah play it down, and ill try dodging the questions from others too maybe? lol . No the job is not important to me at all long term, in fact i only got it till my degree came through, now i have that i dont really have any excuse to stay there i really should start looking for a graduate job.

If after a few days nothings happening, do you reckon it would be a good idea to see what her mate reckons on the situation? im sure she would be more than willing to tell me

[clarencejones]

well 5 different people came up and asked me about what happened so that was sufficently awkward lol. Didnt get a chance to see much of her at work either...

[VincenzoG91]

If after a few days nothings happening, do you reckon it would be a good idea to see what her mate reckons on the situation? im sure she would be more than willing to tell me

Ask her mate, but know that her mate is almost 100% likely to mention your interest to her. If I were you, I would just talk directly to her and figure it out from there. Don't do it at work or even right after work, text her to set up time to meet somewhere else, like maybe a coffee shop.