Question For the Girls: Jealousy Between Women

[Sanctuary]

Let's just suppose hypothetically that I'm a girl. And I'm pretty good looking and desirable. And I have a great boyfriend.

Would this make other girls jealous to the point that some might actually despise me?

I ask this because most guys never seem to really get jealous of their friends but girls do.

The operative word here is seem - I could be wrong about all this.

[Gigabitch]

It would depend on whether or not she appreciated her great fortune. If she were truly conscious of how lucky she was, it would be hard to despise her, but if she took it for granted, I'd totally despise her.

[girl68]

I agree with Giga. If you (as a pretty, desirable, taken girl) was selfish and thought she was hot shit, and everything should be handed to her on a silver platter; yeah I'd hate you.

But if you were nice, suttle, and genuine then I'd probably be jealous that you're so pretty and have a great guy but I certainly wouldn't let it show (much) nor would I 'despise' you.

[bluesummer]

I know plenty of girls that are hot and have great boyfriends, and treat them like shit because they think they're god's gift. Those women don't make me jealous, they piss me off. I hate that attitude.

A pretty girl that's nice and deserves her bf is another story. I wouldn't despise her, but I'd probably feel an eensy-weensy touch of jealousy that she had such good fortune. Just a little. Mind you, it also depends on the woman....some women get jealous over anything thats better than what they have.

I work with a nasty overweight bitch at work. She's engaged to this unemployed oil rigger with an alcohol problem that cleans out her bank account regularly. I'm engaged to a lovely man who is sweet and treats me like a queen and makes lots of money. I'm way better looking than her. All she ever does is make catty remarks about my fiance and how 'tough' my life is. She's jealous. But that's because she's a bitter bitch.

[Enigmos]

I think women are more competitive than men. The more insecure a woman is, the more she'll envy or be jealous of another woman.

[vashti]

I think LOTS of guys get jealous too.

Also, I think as girls grow into being women, they outgrow their jealousy issues (for the most part).

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, Sanctuary. Should I bust you, or let you continue your experiment?

[starbuck]

Hmmm, I hang with a mostly thirty-something group of women. Here in NYC, the dating scene is kind of brutal on single women. There are a disapproportianate number of single women here compared to available single men. You'd think that it would create alot of jealousy, but to be honest, most of the women I know seem to be happy for each other when one finds a nice, committed guy.

If they are seething with jealousy, they certainly don't show it. There was only one now ex-friend who said "another one bites the dust" when I got engaged.

I find women to be the cattiest in work situations where there are petty power struggles with one another.

[Lovable]

Personally I've never been jealous if friend of mine has a better relationship than mine or another woman was prettier than me etc..

I do however get pissed at the women who think they are hotter than hot & want everything handed to them & act like big bitches. It's not jealousy, it's just anger at how they behave themselves.

I've had a friend or 2 in the past like what I said above, for myself instead of being mad at how they act, I stopped talking to them & dissolved the friendship that way.

I've had a girl jealous of me, it was years ago. I was starting out on my own, I was in a good position to buy new furniture, get a pretty decent apartment etc.. She didn't like that one bit, when she came by, she'd let her kid run wild in my place & I would have to chase after him so he wouldn't break anything. She made sly comments on how my stuff was new etc.. Again, instead of being mad at her, I told her 1 day that it was time for her to go home with her kids & I never made the effort to talk to her again. When she called or rang the bell I never answered.

That may seem childish, but that was they type of woman she was, I couldn't talk to her about how she was acting & letting her kids act in my home, so I just let it dissolve.

[vashti]

Somehow, I am getting the impression that Sanctuary is talking about girls in their late teens/early 20s, rather than adult women.

I think the part where women start being happy for one another happens when they realize just how many men out there are unsuitable partners, and how difficult it is to find a good match.

[sookie6]

It is human nature to be jealous from time to time especially when someone who we think is not deserving, hard-working or grateful seem to have everything land on their lap.

But as we grow older and more mature and we experience highs and lows we learn that nothing exactly lasts...

Life is a big turn of the wheel.

There are a lot of well off people where I live. And they're not exactly happy.

They have a lot of money but a lot of them have divorced or are experiencing health problem. Health is for me the only thing worth envying other people for.

Also for the record men can be envious of other men too...just not over the same things.

Men can envy even their best friends for the money they have or the beautiful and sexy gfriend they have...
It is just human nature...

I have got to say though, that when you are having shit happening to you it's difficult to be happy for someone who is succeeding at pretty much everything.

Last summer I was working in a place with mostly women. One of them had pretty much ervything going for her. Pretty, stable job and a stable relationship, nice guy with a good job.

I am very open about being single and having no children (I don't think I should be ashamed of it it's just the way things turned up).

I never envied her because I believe that we all have a different path.
But god did she make a point at asking me again and again whether I had a partner, pretending she forgot I was single and asking again and again.
Also she would go on and on talking on the phone to her friends how much she was allowed to borrow with her partner to buy a house...etc

Well you can say I was imagining things but pleaaaaaase.....

Anyway to me this was even more vicious than normal jealousy among women...I don't know why she was doing this....

It was the first time I encountered such a behaviour. And I hope I never meet this girl again.

[Chupacabras]

Hmmm... can women be catty bitches? I wonder...

[starbuck]

Somehow, I am getting the impression that Sanctuary is talking about girls in their late teens/early 20s, rather than adult women.

I got that impression too. When I was posting I thought, "I'm probably not in the age range he's wondering about, but oh well."

I don't have a huge exposure to twenty-something women except for the ones that I managed in my career. They seem to be pretty indistinguishable from thirty-somethings except for their tendencies to be more impatitent, insecure, and self-entitled. I have almost no exposure to teen girls except for through the forums, so I'm completely out of my element guessing what they're like these days.

I think there are younger women who could be intensely jealous of other women for looks, boyfriend, etc., but I doubt anyone would verbalize it to most others, even their girlfriends. Who wants to be known as the jealous bitch?