Does psychotherapy encourage self-absorption?

[vashti]

I notice that certain posters routinely encourage therapy. I'm not talking about therapy for people with genuine mental illnesses, but for relatively healthy people.

I don't really have a problem with short-term therapy to get through a rough spot here and there, and I generally think that knowing yourself is a good thing, but I guess I don't "buy" that every problem requires a therapist to solve. In fact, I think running to a therapist constantly discourages people from using common sense, and encourages self absorption (especially those who go into therapy for years and years and years).

[misombra]

my only interest in seeing one of those people is to get drugs.

otherwise they charge too much. my problems would be increased with the debt i would incur talking to one of them.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah I really think it does. It's a form of adult molly-coddling.

I think people feel better about themselves by getting out and doing something constructive.

Endless navel gazing just makes it worse. Self-absorbed people are rarely happy.

[vashti]

I especially hate seeing young people encouraged to do this. It sets them up for a lifetime of inability to make independent decisions without doubting themselves. I think most of a teenagers "problems" will be solved by simply growing up. It's all about perspective, which teenagers lack.

(Again, I feel obliged to emphasize that i am referring to kids that fall in the range of "normal", and not those who are genuinely ill, which incidentally aren't ever cured with therapy.)

[Yggdrasil]

Relationship counselor or couple's therapist

The duty and function of a relationship counselor or couple's therapist is to listen, respect, understand and facilitate better functioning between those involved.

The basic principles for a counselor include:

Provide a confidential dialogue, which normalizes feelings
To enable each person to be heard and to hear themselves
Provide a mirror with expertise to reflect the relationship's difficulties and the potential and direction for change
Empower the relationship to take control of its own destiny and make vital decisions
Deliver relevant and appropriate information
As well as the above, the basic principles for a couples therapist also include:

To identify the repetitive, negative interaction cycle as a pattern.
To understand the source of reactive emotions that drive the pattern.
To expand and re-organize key emotional responses in the relationship.
To facilitate a shift in partners' interaction to new patterns of interaction.
To create new and positively bonding emotional events in the relationship
To foster a secure attachment between partners.

Common core principles of relationship counseling and couple's therapy are:

Respect
Empathy
Tact
Consent
Confidentiality
Accountability
Expertise
Evidence based

Certification, ongoing training and supervision

In both the practitioner evaluates the story as it is narrated, and facilitates development of realistic, practical solutions; individually at first only if this is beneficial to both, is consensual and is unlikely to cause harm, and then jointly to encourage the participants to give their best efforts at reorienting their relationship with each other.

[Charlie Boy II]

my mate's girlfriend dragged him off to a relationship counseller. They are both 26, they both come from very, very wealthy families, they have no kids, no responsibilities, not particularly stressful jobs, absolutely no financial problems.

What they talk about in counselling I do not know. Time to call it a day, I reckon.

[vashti]

I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a pencil than be stuck with someone who is over-therapized.

[Charlie Boy II]

the worst thing is they get this whole ridiculous vocaboulary. That idiot's post is a perfect example

"
To expand and re-organize key emotional responses in the relationship.
To facilitate a shift in partners' interaction to new patterns of interaction.
To create new and positively bonding emotional events in the relationship
To foster a secure attachment between partners.''

Imagine having a girlfriend who talked about ''positively bonding emotional events''. F-ck me! What a load of shit!

[Yggdrasil]

the worst thing is they get this whole ridiculous vocaboulary. That idiot's post is a perfect example

And now he has to result to ad hominems (personal insults) because he can't counter argue with factual argumentation.

Again you show your maturity and your incredible people skills.

[vashti]

Did you actually write that, Ygg? I thought you copied and pasted it from a therapist's website? I must admit I had to fight back the urge to gag, and quit reading after the "normalizing feelings" part.

[Yggdrasil]

Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode ones self-esteem and make one feel powerless.

[Charlie Boy II]

Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode ones self-esteem and make one feel powerless.

Let me guess, you learnt that in therapy?

[Yggdrasil]

Let me guess, you learnt that in therapy?

[Sonrisa]

what a great thread!

vashti, i am on the same page with you on this as you know.

and ygg...ay ay ay

[Yggdrasil]

I have a question.

Is this form of cyber bullying intended to intimidate me, shut me up, or otherwise discourage me from suggesting people to do what I consider is best for them in their given situation?

Because if that's what it is, it ain't working.

I'll keep on providing my opinions and advice as I see fit for a given situation. If you disagree with that, that's fine. It doesn't really affect me, because in the end, it's the original poster who will take whatever advice or opinion given as he or she pleases, regardless of what any of us says.

And if you guys are just fooling around, I must say the taste is questionable.