? about a girl

[g20016]

So bunch of friends and I went out to a bar, been talking to this girl for quite some time even before that night. Any how, we ended up talking by ourselves for a few minutes walking around the bar, we ran into a guy she knew and they chatted for 5 minutes or so then said their goodbyes.

She later told me was a friend she knew before, they were friends then ended up "hooking up" one night, then it became wierd so they stopped talking. She the follows up with the statement that she has an easy time making guy friends and so easy for her not to see these signs coming.

Why is she telling me all this? From a women's perspective, is it just she's not interested or considering me? Or is she challenging me? Any insights would be appreciated.

[carl1222]

Not a girl ... but why don't you just ask her what she meant?

Carl.

[g20016]

Wasn't the right time. I guess the question is, if a girl is interested in a guy, she wouldn't be talking about a guy she hooked up with, right?

[carl1222]

Wasn't the right time. I guess the question is, if a girl is interested in a guy, she wouldn't be talking about a guy she hooked up with, right?

Not necessarily. She wasn't bragging about it, and she admitted it was a mistake. She has no romantic feelings for the guy, and it doesn't seem like she was trying to discourage you.

Maybe she's just trying to be up front with you, so if you hear about this hookup later, you'll understand its context and meaning.

Carl.

[misombra]

well, she may not be interested in dating per se, but she felt comfortable enough with you to open up a little.

do you want to date her?

[Cbrider]

If she actually told you this because she was being honest, that would be a really good sign of her character in a positive way. She recognizes her mistakes, doesn't hide them and works to correct them. Thats a pretty ballsy statement to throw out to someone she doesn't know *that* well.

[g20016]

I think being honest is good but really who is 100% honest? I would think she wouldn't tell me that part if she was remotely interested in me. It's kind of like the *lite* version of telling your SO who you slept with.

well, she may not be interested in dating per se, but she felt comfortable enough with you to open up a little.

do you want to date her?

I guess, but comfortable can mean friend zone right? I would like to date her, she is a catch, but maybe I'm just not good enough.

[Gigabitch]

From my perspective, that sounded like, "Don't even try it, buddy".

[g20016]

From my perspective, that sounded like, "Don't even try it, buddy".

I know, right? Although her tone was always friendly and wasn't condescending, it made me go, wtf?

Anyways, I'm going to put this on the back burner unless something changes or is obvious. We have the same friends so if I did made a move and got shot down, everyone will know.

[misombra]

I think being honest is good but really who is 100% honest? I would think she wouldn't tell me that part if she was remotely interested in me. It's kind of like the *lite* version of telling your SO who you slept with.



I guess, but comfortable can mean friend zone right? I would like to date her, she is a catch, but maybe I'm just not good enough.

it depends on what you do. if you don't ask her out or show any intent to date her you will go straight to the friend pile. i think you have a chance at it if you step it up a bit.

[carl1222]

it depends on what you do. if you don't ask her out or show any intent to date her you will go straight to the friend pile. i think you have a chance at it if you step it up a bit.

You are giving up on a POSSIBLE blow off? Man up and ask her out. Even if she says no, she will respect you more for trying.

Why on earth did you roll over on your back and put your legs in the air over something so tenuous? Are you THAT afraid of outright rejection?

One thing she will NOT respond to is a guy with no ba**s. Ask her out ... if she says no, what have you lost? A little time???

Sorry for the rant, but posts like yours explain why uncaring bad boys can get laid at will ... they don't analyze, they just DO.

Carl.

[g20016]

You are giving up on a POSSIBLE blow off? Man up and ask her out. Even if she says no, she will respect you more for trying.

Why on earth did you roll over on your back and put your legs in the air over something so tenuous? Are you THAT afraid of outright rejection?

One thing she will NOT respond to is a guy with no ba**s. Ask her out ... if she says no, what have you lost? A little time???

Carl.

Well, rejection, awkwardness, and also in the same circle of friends. I'll ask her out to something innocent when the times is right though. Fortunately we have the same interests.

[misombra]

so you don't want to date her?

[carl1222]

Well, rejection, awkwardness, and also in the same circle of friends. I'll ask her out to something innocent when the times is right though. Fortunately we have the same interests.

1) Rejection ... So you reject yourself instead? Or wait until the moment has passed? You're giving up romance to avoid embarrassment. How silly.

2) Awkwardness ... Do you have any problem going up to the girl at the counter in your local convenience store? No, right? Why is this girl different?

3) Same circle of friends ... Why is that a minus rather than a plus?

The time is right right NOW! Don't ask her out to something innocent, ask her on a date!!!!

Carl.

[misombra]

i've met guys like you. you're paralyzed. you need to be downright molested before you realize a girl is into you.

the vibe you're giving off is: i don't want to be molested.