Oh Lord. Somebody help me out, please.

[Darkest Heaven]

Here is the deal.


I met this girl. She's in PA, I'm in Ohio. After a few days of talking, she keeps telling me she loves me, and she's buying tickets and coming to see me.


Here's the thing. I've only had a handful of relationships, but I know love rarely, if at all, happens that fast. Another thing is, when I met her, she was sick with the flu. She didn't go out, and she told me she usually doesn't.


For the past few days, she's been going out every day, everywhere. She said she won't go flirt with any guys, but I have serious trust issues, so I don't know how to believe.

I asked her to go out less. (I realize I can't take her life away, but sheesh, EVERY DAY?) And she said no...... she wants to come see me this coming weekend. She is spending 200 USD on the bus ticket and hotel room.

Her history was with an abusive X who she says through her down stairs and cross dressed. Also at times she gets so depressed where she just won't even talk.

I asked for good communication, and she promised me such. But, she's different when she knows she's going out. She's more happy wit5h her, and doesn't need me, or that's what it seems like.



I figured out myself that maybe she likes the IDEA of me being there if something else goes wrong, but when I talked to her about it, she insisted that she loved me because "you are a little nuts in the head and very nice"....


I'm lost, help me please?

[vashti]

She "loves" you after a few days of talking? And you are asking her to not go out because of trust issues? Neither one of you sound emotionally healthy, to be honest. YOu both need to take a deep breath and slow down. You BARELY know each other. She shouldn't "love" you yet, and you shouldn't be so insecure.

How old are you guys?

[Darkest Heaven]

She "loves" you after a few days of talking? And you are asking her to not go out because of trust issues? Neither one of you sound emotionally healthy, to be honest. YOu both need to take a deep breath and slow down. You BARELY know each other. She shouldn't "love" you yet, and you shouldn't be so insecure.

How old are you guys?

Thanks. Yeah, I'm positive I'm not emotionally healthy, and I know she isn't. We are both the same age, 18.....

[LoveTwist]

Firstly, long distance relationships can be extremely difficult to manage at the best of times. But nearly impossible when you’ve got trust issues.

Also this whole thing happened so fast (only a few days???). And if this girl is already saying she loves you after such a short time, chances are she's got some issues. Maybe, as you say, she likes the idea of you being there to talk to and as a kinda back up.

If you can't build up enough trust in the relationship to deal with the distance then looks like it probably won't work out. But what you need to figure out is whether you're willing to work out these trust issues you're having. From what you say it sounds like the distance is just too much. I'd recommend not starting a relationship with her if you're already having problems before you even start and you can foresee that distance becoming an issue.


Trust me, I've had a long distance relationship before and it can be really really tough and can really mess with your head. If you're already having these kinds of doubts/ problems, maybe its best to break it off now before you become too attached, because it will hurt less now than later.

[Darkest Heaven]

Ah trust me I thought about breaking it off. But I can't. I can't just throw it all away. I mean, the trust issues and such are in my head. But inside I know it's in my head, which is causing me to think twice before just saying F it.

A few friends I talked to told me to just let her come out and see how hanging out goes.

And then, I figured like this- if she really DOES like me she will start communicating better and such.

But maybe that's just me ignoring red flags and hoping for something. I dunno.

[Vain]

LDR's are really tough. I think if you can do better than her X you stand a chance with her.

[Junket]

You can't throw what away?

Shit, dude, you could find a similar relationship with a girl in a back alley.

This girl ain't from Philadelphia is she?

And to Vain: Shut up, you're not helping.