good lord, i'm angry.

[Bo]

So like i've mentioned before my bestfriend growing up started working for my parents restaurant since we needed help from someone who could be trusted around our money so i suggested my parents hire her. Anyway my sister had wanted her to cover her shift on a day my friend normally doesn't work. This was almost a month ago, she agreed and about an hour ago i got a text from her saying she might not be able to make it to work because she's not yet able to find someone to watch her child, mind you it was 10:30 pm.

Also note that my parents have not paid me a salary since the past year and a half that i've worked because i'm doing it to help them, they pay for my gas, food, necessities, give me money on holidays. Besides that i usually live on my financial aid from school for everything else. The point is i'd have a hell of a lot more money if i actually got paid for how much i work.

Back to the point, i told my friend that she's gonna have to be there since we need someone in my sister's spot and that she should have has this covered in advance because it was planned weeks ago. This is where it gets ugly.

She starts going off about how working for me is bullshit and i sit around and do nothing while she cleans and sweeps. blah blah, just a lot of bullshit complaining. So we got into it, this really REALLY pissed me off because she wouldn't have a job if it weren't for me, we try to work around her schedule and ANY other job wouldn't give a shit if she couldn't find a babysitter. Whenever we work together i usually serve the MAJORITY of tables, while she cleans and does the little things that need to be done. Sounds pretty reasonable to me, usually she gets tables here and there if i'm not able to get to the people. So i do less cleaning but more of the actual work that needs to be done. So she's starts going off about how she has to do more cleaning and how customers ask her why i'm not cleaning while she does....just a load of crap. I told her to quit if she thinks it's bullshit and so she responded by saying we have to get along enough to work together. I don't really know how to respond to this, she DID find someone to work tomorrow but now i'm really starting to think we shouldn't be friends. I feel like she's being a unappreciative b****. Not to mention she is allowed to text, and do whatever she wants at work whenever there's nothing else to do.

If it were up to my parents and if she weren't my friend, she'd being doing a hell of a lot more work. This is her first real job, and i feel like the fact that she's never felt the strains of working at a place that isn't as lenient as us is getting to her head. Other people would probably fire her for the the amount of complaining, etc. and couldn't care less about why she can't be at work for something that she knew about almost a month ahead. She said that 2 babysitters canceled but part of being prepared is making sure that someone is going to watch her kid.

And if i didn't ask her to do the little chores, etc. I would get bitched at by my parents for letting her sit around and do nothing and get paid for it.

I'm feeling really ****ing angry to the point where i honestly don't feel like i can call her my friend at this point.

[Bo]

I've been working around 30 hours a week for the past year and a half without pay because i want to help while my parents pay off the restaurant. Also not to mention the fact that the first month and a half we opened, i worked EVERYDAY 12 hours a day 7 days a week because there was no one else to work when we first opened besides myself and only one of my sisters. So the fact that someone is coming at me with an attack that insinuates that i'm perhaps lazy makes me absolutely ****ing crazy, let alone someone i ****ing got a job for!

[Bo]

Sorry if it looks like a jumpbled mess BTW. I am way too pissed off to type right now.

[vashti]

Bo. You know I like you, but you are a tiny little bit out of line, in my opinion. Here are a few points I would like to make:

*She is being paid to work. She doesn't need to have eternal gratitude for the fact that you hooked her up with a job, she really only needed to be grateful for being given the initial opportunity. At this point, she is simply exchanging her services for money, and doesn't need to be any more grateful than your parents do.
*People with children occasionally have childcare issues. Count on it. That's why employers tend to prefer childless women and men for jobs.
*In ANY area of employment, people are looking around to see who works as hard as they do... it's human nature. It seemed at one point as though you thought she might be right (on occasion), because you defended yourself by stating that you aren't getting paid, but really, why should she care? In her eyes, you are being compensated in whatever way YOU found acceptable, but you don't feel it necessary to always be productive. You might BOTH be able to resolve this matter by deciding that when one person is busy at work, EVERYONE is busy at work, and when one person is slow, everyone is. (teamwork)
*You say you do more of the "actual work", as if cleaning isn't work. I hope that attitude isn't coming off at work. I'd much rather wait tables than clean.
*I would never expect a regular employee would work as hard as the family that owns the business and has a significantly larger amount at stake in whether or not a business thrives. That's just reality.
*Everyone texts at work when there is nothing to do (or something along that line). This should not be considered a special benefit.
*I don't think it was a good idea to hire a friend to work in a family business. People are generally not friends with those who boss them around.

[Bo]

Bo. You know I like you, but you are a tiny little bit out of line, in my opinion. Here are a few points I would like to make:

*She is being paid to work. She doesn't need to have eternal gratitude for the fact that you hooked her up with a job, she really only needed to be grateful for being given the initial opportunity. At this point, she is simply exchanging her services for money, and doesn't need to be any more grateful than your parents do.
*People with children occasionally have childcare issues. Count on it. That's why employers tend to prefer childless women and men for jobs.
*In ANY area of employment, people are looking around to see who works as hard as they do... it's human nature. It seemed at one point as though you thought she might be right (on occasion), because you defended yourself by stating that you aren't getting paid, but really, why should she care? In her eyes, you are being compensated in whatever way YOU found acceptable, but you don't feel it necessary to always be productive. You might BOTH be able to resolve this matter by deciding that when one person is busy at work, EVERYONE is busy at work, and when one person is slow, everyone is. (teamwork)
*You say you do more of the "actual work", as if cleaning isn't work. I hope that attitude isn't coming off at work. I'd much rather wait tables than clean.
*I would never expect a regular employee would work as hard as the family that owns the business and has a significantly larger amount at stake in whether or not a business thrives. That's just reality.
*Everyone texts at work when there is nothing to do (or something along that line). This should not be considered a special benefit.
*I don't think it was a good idea to hire a friend to work in a family business. People are generally not friends with those who boss them around.

I see what you're saying for sure.
I'm not at all expecting her to be eternally grateful for the job or anything even close, the thing is that makes me angry is that i've never even gotten a simple thank. Just complaining, and she does work hard and not that cleaning is not REAL work but while she's complaining about cleaning more than i do i'm waiting/serving 8-10 tables which is very stressful. She's never served anywhere near as many as i have to deal with because i'm used to it...and i'd never ask her to do something i would not do myself. Hell i've worked much much longer than she has and dealt with long days by myself with no help. She doesn't see that she only see's that YES, i do get more benefits because my parents own the place. And even if i were being paid, she's taking things WAY too personally. She's assuming that because she's not part of the fam she can't have things come up but when something is planned a month in advance because my sister is leaving town, you should have your shit together since it was planned long in advance BUT she took that as a personal issue which exploded into something else.

She apologized and i did too but i need time to cool off. The things she said were not acceptable at all.

I do understand the child situation but she knew when she took the job that if she AGREES to work

[Bo]

She should be mature enough to realize that work is not going to be directly connected with the friendship for me. That is when things get ugly. Business is business.

[MerryH]

Tell us more about your sense of entitlement and how mean you are to people who work for you (or your family.)

[oneandonly]

.... So i do less cleaning but more of the actual work that needs to be done...

I had to stop at the above and thought 'what?' before carrying on. Cleaning is not less 'actual' work than any other work especially in a restaurant.

Like Vashti said, she doesn't have to be eternally grateful to you. By the sound of it, she did try to arrange a babysitter but perhaps fell through at the last minute?

Did she 'have to' thank you for getting her a job in the first place? I mean, were you and your parents not equally grateful that you got someone who you could trust with money and etc? It's a contract in the best of interest on both parties. You seem to think you've done such a HUGE favour.

I bet that you naturally act like the owner's daughter rather than her coworker, which gets to her as you've had 'friendship' together before she started working for your parents/you. Your acting like the owner's daugher wouldn't matter so much to other people how bossy, mean and demanding you may be.

Just read Vashti's post over and over and over.

[Bo]

I've never been anything but NICE to her. Yes i do ask her to take something to a table, or clean a table that needs to be cleaned, etc. That's her job. She likes to complain even before this. Her job has NEVER been close to anything like getting on her hands and knees to scrub the floors. Like i said i don't do anything she doesn't do, she cleans more, i serve more tables AND open/close the restaurant.

Like i said i'm pissed because she's taking me asking her to do things as demanding, i've never been like get ur ass over there and clean this or that. AND EVERYONE else including my parents tell ME to tell HER to do half the shit she does which she KNOWS and is still being a bitch. Not my fault. period. She takes things personally and always has, like when i posted the thread about her being mad because i couldn't make it to her baby's first birthday etc.

It's ridiculous

[Bo]

And yes i am in a way doing her a big favor. Her mom supports her and her baby. She hasn't been able to find a job especially that works with her schedule and makes sure she's not working on a day she's busy.

I'm not asking her to be eternally grateful that would be crazy but a simple thank you would be nice, all she's ever done is complain while working, after work. etc. I do MORE work than she does period.

[DoesntMatter]

Sounds like somebody needs to get laid

[Sonrisa]

I second everything Vash said. it seems that you expect to boss her around because she works for your family, because it's her first job and because she is your friend. you are one bad friend i must say.
at my work almost everyone has a child or two. it is never frowned upon when a child gets sick and mom/dad/grandma have to stay home with them. we can text, browse the net and ever have personal conversations on the phone during work time. it seems like the poor girl got the poor end of the deal. send her our way and she'll better off being a file clerk for us.

[bloodtippedrose]

Sounds like somebody needs to get laid

If I had a nickel for everytime you gave that as a solution... ;P


Sorry Bo I feel for you, I really can't get over "first job" and "kid" how old is she?

[Bo]

I second everything Vash said. it seems that you expect to boss her around because she works for your family, because it's her first job and because she is your friend. you are one bad friend i must say.
at my work almost everyone has a child or two. it is never frowned upon when a child gets sick and mom/dad/grandma have to stay home with them. we can text, browse the net and ever have personal conversations on the phone during work time. it seems like the poor girl got the poor end of the deal. send her our way and she'll better off being a file clerk for us.

That's the thing, i don't boss her around. I ask her to do what she's ALREADY SUPPOSED to be doing, that's what she's complaining about. I don't get it. Most ppl don't like their employees checking messages etc. at least in restaurant/retail businesses. Office jobs are little different when it comes to that. For example if i see a table she missed, i'll ask her to clean it if she's sitting there doing nothing.

If I had a nickel for everytime you gave that as a solution... ;P


Sorry Bo I feel for you, I really can't get over "first job" and "kid" how old is she?

LOL, even a penny every time would make him rich.

She's 19.

[Bo]

And did i say. she was the one who decided to work, she didn't have to say yes but she did. And she had a month to figure out a solid babysitter. It's not like she was asked to cover 2 days before it was almost a WHOLE MONTH.