good lord, i'm angry.

[Bo]

I think she might have thought coming into the job that she wasn't going to have to work hard BECAUSE i'm her friend. And now that she knows she does have to actually work for the money, she's taking it out on me.

[bloodtippedrose]

I hear you on her not planning ahead, my roommate sometimes treats rent as if its a big damn surprise every month and comes up short sometimes. When you're nice sometimes, people will step on you. Unfortunately theres nothing really you can do without not being her friend. Maybe have your parents talk to her, or better yet have them hire someone who actually deserves the job and give the friend less hours (if she truly is a BAD worker).

[MerryH]

I think she might have thought coming into the job that she wasn't going to have to work hard BECAUSE i'm her friend. And now that she knows she does have to actually work for the money, she's taking it out on me.

Neither of you are acting professionally.

You're her boss. You don't engage in an argument with your employees about who does better work. And when an employee absolutely can't make it to work, you suck it up and deal with it however management decides to deal with it.

What is her job title? If she's a waitress, but doesn't get as many tables as you, I would think that's unfair and she's right to be pissed about it. She probably has a point when she says you don't do as much "work" as her, because you're too busy with money-making tables while she does all the necessary grunt work as your support staff. You're in the US, I'm guessing you get tipped.

If her job title is "busboy" then don't expect her to care much about her job because that's sort of a shitty job with a very high turnover rate in your industry. Also, you should be tipping her out at the end of a shift.

[Bo]

I hear you on her not planning ahead, my roommate sometimes treats rent as if its a big damn surprise every month and comes up short sometimes. When you're nice sometimes, people will step on you. Unfortunately theres nothing really you can do without not being her friend. Maybe have your parents talk to her, or better yet have them hire someone who actually deserves the job and give the friend less hours (if she truly is a BAD worker).

yeah it's more irritating because since she is my friend everyone wants to communicate what they want from her through me, i think maybe also that is where she thinks i'm bossing her around but that's not my fault and she's immature for not realizing that. She's not necessarily a bad worker, she just complains a lot. Not exactly a good quality for an employee. I've always been more than nice to her, and she's ALWAYS taken things personally ever since i've known her.

I can understand ppl have children and things come up but she didn't have to say yes and agree to work on a day she knew was a tight schedule.

Neither of you are acting professionally.

You're her boss. You don't engage in an argument with your employees about who does better work. And when an employee absolutely can't make it to work, you suck it up and deal with it however management decides to deal with it.

What is her job title? If she's a waitress, but doesn't get as many tables as you, I would think that's unfair and she's right to be pissed about it. She probably has a point when she says you don't do as much "work" as her, because you're too busy with money-making tables while she does all the necessary grunt work as your support staff. You're in the US, I'm guessing you get tipped.

If her job title is "busboy" then don't expect her to care much about her job because that's sort of a shitty job with a very high turnover rate in your industry. Also, you should be tipping her out at the end of a shift.

She doesn't see me as her boss, she just sees me as her friend who is working with her. That's where the problem lies. Everyone expects me to tell her what to do because she's my friend so in a way i am her boss, but she doesn't like that. And yes we do get tipped, but my parents keep the tips. She normally doesn't serve a lot of tables and doesn't really check up on the customers, and my sister's and i don't get tips either. She normally cleans the tables, and sauce trays, windows, and if it's extremely busy then cleaning comes last, which means she helps me with whatever i'm not able to get to. And as i've mentioned, she doesn't have to pay taxes because she's paid under the table, my parents pay her min. wage AND round UP her total amount for the day.

I don't think i'm getting across the message that i was trying to be professional about it and tell her it's really late notice, and she's going to have to show up since there's no one else to cover. And if she couldn't well then there was nothing i was going to be able to do about it except for tell her next time don't agree to work on that day if she can't or be prepared. BUT she took it to a completely different level AND THEN some, saying things that personally i find really insulting not only to myself but also to my family. I told my bf what happened and he said it wasn't really that bad until i SHOWED him what she had texted me, and he agreed that what she said was WAY out of line ESPECIALLY if she considers me one of her bestfriends.

[MerryH]

Sorry, but it sounds like the management at your restaurant is really lacking structure. You're not technically her boss but you act like one, her real bosses refuse to direct her, she's sort of a waitress but not really. Honestly, the lack of organization would piss off any employee. She shouldn't have reacted that way, but you can't really blame her for being unhappy with it. My suggestion: fire her, restructure management, find a new busboy/cleaning lady who doesn't come with baggage, save yourself a lot of headaches.

You don't sound particularly happy with your job, either. I don't see how you could be. Your situation seems unfair in a lot of ways.

[bloodtippedrose]

I have a friend who's family owns a small burger joint. He drives almost 2 hours when someone calls in to help them out, with no money, because what kind of guy would he be if his family asked for help and he wasn't there... But all it's holding him back from getting on with his life and it encourages his parents to not hire a reliable worker because their kid will do it for free. Alot of people out there would be grateful for a job and its sad to see it wasted by an ungrateful worker such as your friend who doesn't know how good she actually has it because shes never worked for anyone else.

I think you should tell your parents that nothing sinks in when you talk to your friend, all it does is cause conflict, and that if they need something communicated to her they are going to have to do it themselves. Then I suggest you talk to your parents and start looking for another job. Not because of your friend, but for yourself. You have to think of yourself sometimes. You need a job that will compensate you for your work so you can save up for a life of your own instead of a life under your parents.

[Bo]

Sorry, but it sounds like the management at your restaurant is really lacking structure. You're not technically her boss but you act like one, her real bosses refuse to direct her, she's sort of a waitress but not really. Honestly, the lack of organization would piss off any employee. She shouldn't have reacted that way, but you can't really blame her for being unhappy with it. My suggestion: fire her, restructure management, find a new busboy/cleaning lady who doesn't come with baggage, save yourself a lot of headaches.

You don't sound particularly happy with your job, either. I don't see how you could be. Your situation seems unfair in a lot of ways.

Well since it's our family, we sort of organize work by what needs to be done and who's working that day, so yeah in a way structure is lacking but that's definitely not what she is complaining about.

And it is unfair but in my culture, the family as a whole is more important than the individual, it's hard but i suck it up since my parents said they would buy me a new car when they can afford it. I'd already have a nice new car had i been getting paid but i don't mind helping out my parents, besides they've fed me and took care of me for 0ver 20 years now. lol.

I'm still feeling pretty pissed off even now that almost a week has passed, that's pretty unusual for me...i get over things pretty quickly.

[Bo]

I have a friend who's family owns a small burger joint. He drives almost 2 hours when someone calls in to help them out, with no money, because what kind of guy would he be if his family asked for help and he wasn't there... But all it's holding him back from getting on with his life and it encourages his parents to not hire a reliable worker because their kid will do it for free. Alot of people out there would be grateful for a job and its sad to see it wasted by an ungrateful worker such as your friend who doesn't know how good she actually has it because shes never worked for anyone else.

I think you should tell your parents that nothing sinks in when you talk to your friend, all it does is cause conflict, and that if they need something communicated to her they are going to have to do it themselves. Then I suggest you talk to your parents and start looking for another job. Not because of your friend, but for yourself. You have to think of yourself sometimes. You need a job that will compensate you for your work so you can save up for a life of your own instead of a life under your parents.

This is the first time there's ever been a problem, Well i don't see a problem but since she's complaining it is a problem, and only i know since i'm the only one she's said it to.

on second thought if there really was a problem that she thought was really unfair about this job why wouldn't she go to someone else besides me if she doesn't see me as her boss? If i wanted to, i could pick out plenty of things that she could do better but i don't because i'm her friend. She could talk to my oldest sister who is technically the manager and they get along pretty well, but she didn't because there is no problem. She just wants to complain!

[bloodtippedrose]

Next time she starts bitching tell her that shes bumming you out. Every time someone around me is complaining I always tell them they are such a downer or theyre bringing me down, I say it half joking and they usually laugh, apologize and stop. Unless its something I want to complain about also.. misery loves company.

[Bo]

i don't even know if i wanna continue being friends at this point i haven't said a word to her, and as i said before i'm still angry which is unusual for me.

[bloodtippedrose]

How long have you not talked to her? Sad a friendship came to this but I dont blame you, her bitching about work is almost the same as disrespecting your family and all they've worked for.

[Bo]

How long have you not talked to her? Sad a friendship came to this but I dont blame you, her bitching about work is almost the same as disrespecting your family and all they've worked for.

it's been almost a week now, it just makes work VERY awkward for me at this point. And i also feel awkward now asking her to do things because she might take offense. Shouldn't be like that but it is.

In her text, it pretty much said **** you, i'm only working for you because your family is hooking me up.

Pretty insulting if you ask me, it was like a slap in the face

[bloodtippedrose]

oh hell no! The only reason she has that job is because of you! Your family hired her only because of YOU! Screw that bitch she crossed the line! Don't bother telling her to do anything, there are other people that work with you right? Have your sister or someone else tell her what needs to be done.

[Bo]

oh hell no! The only reason she has that job is because of you! Your family hired her only because of YOU! Screw that bitch she crossed the line! Don't bother telling her to do anything, there are other people that work with you right? Have your sister or someone else tell her what needs to be done.

Yep, that's the kind of knee-jerk reaction i got when i read that text.

I don't want to fire her because yes i'm still trying to be understanding and she really can use the money but i don't want to sacrifice the little comfort left that i have left at work.

pretty frustrating.

[bloodtippedrose]

Well how nice of you to consider her finances despite the hell she puts you through. That's really mature. Though I'd love to see her ass get canned -_- She will learn one day that you can't say that kind of stuff to people that hold power over you (bosses).