Need advice -Womans point of view

[Boisdevie]

Not a happy ending to this.

It IS a happy ending because you've put and end to the bullshit and both of you know exactly where you stand. No more childish games. Sounds like she stormed off because you spoiled her game. Good for you.

[smackie9]

Set your story straight to the office gossipers...she was using you as her emotional tampon...a BF with no benefits, a cock tease. Women might not understand but the guys will. This goes to show you should never dip your pen in the company ink. Keep your private life out of the workplace.

[smackie9]

Not a happy ending to this. usual routine from her, late night drinks in the hotel bar, very intimate conversation lots of casual touching. So I put it very bluntly, heres my room card key, either pick it up or stop this stupid game. She stormed off and basically only speaks to me when she has to .

It seems however I now am the talk of the office for coming on to her. Oh well live and learn I suppose. Sad really thought she was the one.

Thanks everyone for helping me focus on this, I suspect I would still be dithering without the prompting on here

This isn't the way I would have done it.... You were told by me and Wakeup to handle this in a more tactful way..... you just made yourself look like a dickhead not only to her but to the rest of the female staff......I wish I was in the guy's pool because I would have taken their money on this one.

[Wakeup]

How does one discover that they are being gossipped about? Did someone actually have the ballzz to come up to you and say "I hear you tried to solicitate some tale off of (insert CT's name here)? If they are that rude, then yea... set them straight. If you're just guessing you're the star of the water cooler gang, then just let it go is my advice.

Yes.. you could have handled it a little more tactfully (only because you work with the little weazle, otherwise i think women like her need to learn that they aren't the princessess they think they are) she'd have nothing to rat you out about.

All in all though... yes, that was good news because now you can get on with finding someone who wants more then just the attention. You're free to move on and she's learned a lesson.. win/win.

BTW: Kudos for having the shitz to actually get er done... We don't read about that too often around here. You should stick around and help the young guys with similar "friend zone" problems.

[smackie9]

How does one discover that they are being gossipped about?

LOL it's like that in most companies. Once it got back to me that, apparently I was having an affair with another employee, that I have never met lol. And this was started in another branch.

Once in awhile I will get the skinny on an affair or divorce, who is doin who, who got fired, from someone at our main branch....nothing is sacred.

[MissEfficient]

You are way too close for comfort for this girl in that you share a work relationship currently. She KNOWS one of you will have to find a different job ultimately to make a personal relationship work. She likes you but likes/loves her job more? Ask her how she feels about her job at the 'company'. Probe the 'work relationship' more. You may pose a threat to her true passion, her career. Good luck.

[SteveH0000]

Thanks for the feedback and comments. I found out about the gossip from a friend in the office. I am not that bothered as I have a pretty good reputation around the place and I think most are just ignoring it. I had also pre warned HR before I actually started asking her out as I didnt want issues coming back at me. Just annoying that she got petty about this.

As to smackie's comments- yep know I came off worst from this but I was at the limit of what I could take - still its done and I will deal with the fallout

[smackie9]

If you set boundaries with her like I said at the beginning of this thread you may have had a chance with her because you made yourself "off limits" to her...which brings up your value, by making yourself a challenge...silly.