Needed advice so signed up for this forum. I feel it is worth a shot.
Ok so I am 25 years old and the female is 24. We meet back in high school so have known one another for nine years. We dated seriously for the first two. I ended up getting her pregnant because I at that time was a dumb teenager. She had an abortion which I was there for her. Her Mom split us up but we always remained in contact. I moved away for the last four years but moved back a few weeks ago.
She is currently dating another guy for the past four years and I just got out of a four year relationship. When I came back and visited we hung out and had a great time for the day. I kissed her and she was ok with that but then broke down into tears. I gave her space after that and went back to the state i resided in.
I moved back because of family issues and am now closer to her. We have hung out quite a bit. Thing is she is still with her boyfriend and I am no longer with my girlfriend.
We have not yet gotten sexual but we have basically done everything besides having intercourse. It feels so right when we are together and doing things we forget about the consequences. She forgets about her boyfriend in the moment and i forget about my feelings the next day when there is no progress with her breaking up with her boyfriend.
I feel in a way I am going crazy? Not freaking out but my mind is just so stuck in this mess that I think about it too often.
I guess my question is why do I feel like she wants me so bad but she doesn't stop the shit with her current boyfriend who all she does is complain about. This guy doesn't call to even say he loves her or anything. Calls and says goodnight They hangout like once a week and have not been intimate for three months. He doesn't even says he loves her ever really. I think this is why I do not feel bad for the guy at all.
I know i should feel like a prick doing this behind his back but i have no sympathy for someone like that.
Im sure i will get the reply that if she is doing it to him she will do it to you. Thing is i feel she wouldn't do it to me because i wouldn't treat her or ignore her the way he does so consistently. He can't even pay for her dinners and such... what is with that?
I ned to know where she is at in her head. I know she wants me in her life because she would have cut communication like she did the time she started dating this guy. She hasn't done that yet at all. I just feel I am second bested to this guy and it bugs me out. I put on the happy face but once in awhile question her and how she thinks. She says she is just afraid to break it off with him because she is really close with his family.
That is another thing. I went out to dinner and have hungout a few times with her family and her mom loves me now? Her entire family knows she should be with me and so do her friends.
I was down there yesterday and i got a little upset. No yelling just asking what is it she thinks she is doing? One day i am good to go and can hold her and kiss her and then another day it is all off limits. Even the days when it is all off limits i can still eventually hold her etc. but it drives me crazy with all these restrictions and thinking about her having her cake and eating it too.
I have tryed to just stop talking to her but it hurts to not talk to her. I usually can just end talking to someone without issue but with her i can't understand why i cant.
What should i ask her to do?
What should i do?
Thanks in advance ladies.