Is looking for these qualities in a man too much to ask?

[BlueMoonSal]

I'm currently a 26 year-old college student (about 2 more years left to finish my major and get my degree) and these are some basic qualities I look towards in a man:

1) Nice personality and treats others with respect
2) Handome European or elsewhere that's above average in looks (not a 5/10 nor 6/10)
3) Is also career-oriented and isn't going to settle to be in the subordinate positive at a workplace forever
4) Wants a childfree marriage (no kids)
5) Likes travelling

Certain features about me: Hispanic, 5'7, mid brown hair and have only been in one relationship (I guess that's a very low number even for a woman my age) and been single for a long while.

And off course this is me: http://www.flickr.com/photos/95279883@N05/8687699687/in/photostream
BTW, my name is not Sophie.

[smackie9]

In order to get the right man, you have to be the right woman for that man.

[BlueMoonSal]

In order to get the right man, you have to be the right woman for that man.

And I'm I?

[smackie9]

If you want to have a man like this, then you need to be of the same. Compatibility is key.

[BlueMoonSal]

If you want to have a man like this, then you need to be of the same. Compatibility is key.

True and I have those qualities. I wouldn't settle for a man that doesn't like studying because I'm career-minded.

Hopefully it doesn't take too much time to find him. He's gotta be out there somewhere.

[Rowen]

That's great, but I think it's too restrictive... Let love happen. Be open to meeting new people. You never really know who will come to affect you. Here's a case in point:

My friend Jeff had this mindset that he'd one day marry someone who works in the same business the he does. He was so dead set on it that he refused to give any other guys a chance. On top of that, they had to fulfill a certain height requirement. And you know what happened in the end? He was single for years, and the ones he found who met those requirements turned out to be phonies and jerks. He was heartbroken. But you know what the best thing is? Being hurt like that made him open his eyes to see that there are other people out there who may be a good match for him even if they don't fulfill those requirements. He learned to think with his heart- not his mind. That's how he wound up with a fiance that is a foot and a half shorter than he is who is in a nursing program.

My point is, OP, that just because you *think* something is good for you doesn't mean that it actually is- that your heart might feel differently. So, have qualities that you'd like to look for in a man, but don't turn it into a case where you're looking for a walking checklist. Have your heart open, and you'll find the man who is right for you. You never know- the man that could mean the most to you could be none of those.

I hope this helps.

[HeheMan]

Eh? Not sure about Europe, but here in America the type of man you're looking for ("career driven") is becoming a rare breed. Less and less men graduate from college/University (and are even dropping out of highschool in record numbers), and more and more women are beginning to fill the workplace and assume positions of power. A lot of men are basking in the new freedom they have now that gender roles have been challenged, and the pressure to get a good career, earn big money, and marry early are no longer as strong as they used to be. Also, you're looking for a man who does -not- want to have children, but also wants to get married... but is -also- career driven. This is going to be even twice as hard to find, as the reason most men become career-driven is to one day be able to support a family. Most men who don't want children are also not very interested in marriage. Marriage-minded men are also family-minded men.

In the US there is a growing social group of married/cohabiting couples known as "DINKS" - Dual Income, No Kids. These couples are not uncommon. However, "Power Couples", which is what it sounds like you're describing, are fairly rare. If you would like to form a power coupleship, you first must be a powerful woman in some aspect of your life - either your career (high powered income), social life (high social standing and influence), or politically (high political power). Keep in mind that these qualities are more likely to deter potential suitors than to attract them; most men are hypogamous, meaning they seek women who are of lower social and economic standing them themselves. This is complemented by the fact that most women are hypergamous and seek men with higher standing.

The other qualities you're looking for (good mannered, likes to travel) shouldn't be too hard to find. It's the very specific situation you want that will be tricky, but not impossible.

[HeheMan]

In order to get the right man, you have to be the right woman for that man.

Thank you so much. It's so refreshing to see a woman post something like this. So many women these days feel like they're entitled to some crazy fairy tale without bringing anything to the table except "Well, I'm a woman, and, uh, I'm special! Gimme my dream come true now plx."

[basilandthyme]

Would a man fitting that description want a woman who'll be in college till she's 28? I suspect that if a career man specifically wants a career girl, he'll want one who's career is already well established.

[VincenzoG91]

I'm currently a 26 year-old college student (about 2 more years left to finish my major and get my degree) and these are some basic qualities I look towards in a man:

1) Nice personality and treats others with respect
2) Handome European or elsewhere that's above average in looks (not a 5/10 nor 6/10)
3) Is also career-oriented and isn't going to settle to be in the subordinate positive at a workplace forever
4) Wants a childfree marriage (no kids)
5) Likes travelling

Certain features about me: Hispanic, 5'7, mid brown hair and have only been in one relationship (I guess that's a very low number even for a woman my age) and been single for a long while.

And off course this is me: http://www.flickr.com/photos/95279883@N05/8687699687/in/photostream
BTW, my name is not Sophie.

Are you familiar with the Drake Equation? There is a relevant variation for you called the Backus Equation.

http://wolfstu.ca/LGM.html

Assuming that you are living in or near a city, let's say there are 1 million people living in the area. Half of them are females, so that takes it down to 500,000 targets. Only half of all Americans are currently married, so that reduces your target population to 250,000 (per million). Let's say 1% are gay, then 247,500. Many of the males are too young or too old, married, or gay. Here's a graph from wikipedia to help you identify age-appropriate partners:



I've got a feeling that you're not going to be interested in a younger guy, unless he is maybe just one year younger, so we're looking at guys aged 25-38 for you. According to this slightly dated chart, that might be 10% of the population, so now we're down to 24,750 eligible dudes per one million:

http://www.censusscope.org/us/chart_age.html

Running down the rest of your list with estimates:

1. Personality is hard to estimate, but let's say that you're looking for the upper 25%.
2. About 70% of the U.S. population is non-latino and white. Assuming a bell curve distribution, maybe 20% are handsome enough for you.
3. Career-oriented? Let's arbitrarily call that the upper 20%.
4. Doesn't want kids? No clue. Let's say 20% as a total guess.
5. Likes traveling? I dunno, but roughly 75% are extroverts, so let's say that all extroverts like to travel.

So, 24,750 x .7 x .25 x .2 x .2 x .2 x .75 = 26 guys out every million Americans. If your metro area has a population of 5 million, then that would be 130 guys. And I'm guessing that some of them already have a girlfriend. If you're willing to search from coast to coast, that brings up your target population to about 7,800 guys. But realistically, you won't have time to find all of them.

[MsMaccoby]

I think you'll find this person, or stumble upon someone who's right for you who you didn't think would be compatible. If you're a very career oriented and determined type, then it's also possible you would not be suited to the same, as you'd be 'competing' for the dominant role. Anyway, you have time esp if you're focusing on your career at the mo.

[FlaCooln]

I think #1-3 and 5 are reasonable expectations and there are guys like that. #4 the no kids maybe harder to find. But, I totally get the wanting a parter who has a career.

I myself fit that criterion at 31 and have been there since about 28. The kids thing is too absolute as I could go either way. There are successful men out there (almost all my friends are). However, IMHO there are WAY more good available women then there are good men. So good guys get snatched up quick, hence why myself and buddies all have women in our lives already.

[Kromat83]

Instead of letting love just happen and worry about these things later, you'll just keep searching and have lots of dates with no results.
Most men want to have kids, and just enjoy life with someone that cares for you.
Not everyone can be like you, so give people a chance.

[michelle23]

i have to ask: if you met someone who ticked all those boxes but still wanted a kid in the future-would you run?

y u so against kids? just asking outa curiousity.

[BlueMoonSal]

i have to ask: if you met someone who ticked all those boxes but still wanted a kid in the future-would you run?

y u so against kids? just asking outa curiousity.

But he would have already known that I'm not interested in kids from the start. Why suddenly change his mind? That wouldn't be fair for me.