Girl from work-hard to get/uninterested?

[redvolvodavid]

Where I work, there's this girl...

I'm a manager, not supervisor, of a waitress where I work. I'm uninvolved in the restaurant operation-so it wouldn't cause too much of a stir. She is working for the summer and will go back to school in about 2 weeks-however, her school is only 45 minutes from where we currently are-and that's nothing in terms of travel for me-I have to go 25 minutes to get groceries! Anyway, she's much more talkative and responsive to me than anyone else. She's rather shy, I might add, but never has been with me. We have done things in groups before and last week, she and I drove down 30 minutes to meet two other people to have dinner-then came back to the area we live in and sat in her car for 45 minutes chatting. Sounds promising, right?

We've been talking about going to see a new movie at the theater-possibly today or tomorrow-for about a week. She's a nascar fan (I swear she's the exact opposite of what you'd expect a nascar fan to be-I don't even think her family is into it that much) and the race was delayed today so tonight's out-but tomorrow I offered and she's going bridesmaid dress shopping with another mutual friend/coworker. I suggested the other girl come along too. I'd have to drive about 45 min to meet them-and I thought I'd talk to the other girl and see if she'd do dinner-but then ditch the movie-I'm quite sure she would... This is assuming we go... I offered that as an option-but didn't receive a reply (why can't people just talk on the phone any more?).

At least 3 people from work have said "She's into you." Nothing she's said, they just see how she interacts with me versus others. She has a boyfriend-sort of...he's on some 2 year pilgrimage that Mormon's do and she's talked to him once on the phone in the last year-not much of a relationship...I believe she may use it as a safety net when people ask if she's got a boyfriend...it's a strange situation. She's never discussed that with me and in fact, when she was talking about it with someone else the other day at work and I walked in, she looked like a deer in headlights and quickly changed the subject.

Am I not being forward enough? Is she maybe not interested after all? Is she really too busy? Is she scared to go out on something that seems "official?" I don't know. There are a lot of questions I am asking myself. I take the more sensitive approach-I've been the "nice guy" my whole life, which sucks, but also helps with the women who are worth it. It's finally starting to pay off and nice guys are making headway in my age group-the girls are starting to get tired of dicks.

Anyway-your advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

[IndiReloaded]

She has a boyfriend-sort of...he's on some 2 year pilgrimage that Mormon's do and she's talked to him once on the phone in the last year-not much of a relationship...I believe she may use it as a safety net when people ask if she's got a boyfriend...it's a strange situation.

Ask her out. At minimum, consider it a rescue from her current BF.

[redvolvodavid]

Well, we ended up going out to dinner and a movie. Several points to know:

-She changed plans with some of the staff where we work to go out with me.
-I referred to it as a Date in a message to her.
-She offered to pay for herself, however, I said "I invited you, I've got it."
-Everything went quite well-no contact though...We're both shy, but a movie is a classic place to at least brush against each other-like I said...shy.
-Halfway home, she mentions the boyfriend who's on the mormon 2 year journey...she talked to him at Christmas and they write letters...uh-WTF.
-After mentioning the boyfriend, I say..."uh...I didn't know you had a boyfriend." I think this got the point across that I was a little disturbed-then she said a few other things about him. I said it wasn't fair for someone to expect someone else to wait around for 2 years for them, and I also said that he's going to be a completely different person than the one you knew 2 years before...
-She's maybe not been as receptive to me at work since, but still lights up when I come around.
-We've still texted and chatted quite a bit.

Ok. From here-I don't know what to do or where to go... I was thinking (tomorrow is her last day at work) of asking her on a "date," terming it as such, and doing something fun like a indoor go-kart/game/etc place and to a nice dinner (to show kid in me/adult tastes). I just don't know if it's a step I should take. A friend said she could have mentioned him because "she wanted a reaction." Well, I gave her a reaction-not a lot of talking the rest of the ride home the other night (20 minutes), and saying "I didn't know you had a boyfriend" several times...

I'm really confused about this. Why would she change plans to go with ONLY me if she weren't interested? But also, why the hell would she mention her "boyfriend," and I use the term loosely.

[Raze]

Don't do it.

1) She has a boyfriend

2) You work with her.
Think about this. If things go sour, you're going to have to work with her. I've done it before, it's not a good thing.

No means no, find a different girl.

[redvolvodavid]

Her last day is Tomorrow...

It's a "relationship" in that they call it that, but she seems to be fishing for something else...My first post explained this...

[bloodtippedrose]

hmmm shes doesnt seem interested. I wonder if she accepted your date just to be nice or because of course youre her boss. Everytime I go out with a guy to dinner I let him pay if I want him and I pay my own way if I only want to be friends. Whatever the case her talking about her boyfriend is a bad sign, and I dont think its her way of 'playing hard to get.'