Out all night

[stbmrs]

Hi i need some help understanding what's up with this.

Recently my fiance has been having problems sleeping at night because he has acid reflux and wont take his meds on a daily basis. He doesn't help it any by eating spicy foods, drinking super caffeinated drinks and sleeping late in the day.

Well last night was no different and he told me he was going to go over to his friends house after i went to bed. Normally this doesn't really bother me much since i'll be asleep and all but this is the second night in a row and he made sure he drank that drink right before bed.

Now i don't really know this friend of his and it's hard to find time to get to know him with my time schedule. Between all the house work he has me doing plus my 4 year old and going to school full time i barely have time to shower. I did meet him twice when i was overly tired from the day or week or whatever and the last time we were at his house my fiances kinda ex gf was there. The main thing is that because i don't know this guy i can't trust him.

My fiance left our place at about 12:45am and climbed into bed this morning at 6:45am.

My question is how should i approach this situation? I'm very mad about this but don't want to blow up on him since that really wont do any good just piss him off too. Any thoughts would help.

[vashti]

I wouldn't bother with a man who was out running around like a teenager when there's a four-year-old at home. I guess I'm a bitch that way. Don't you want to have a relationship with someone more grown-up?

[stbmrs]

I wouldn't bother with a man who was out running around like a teenager when there's a four-year-old at home. I guess I'm a bitch that way. Don't you want to have a relationship with someone more grown-up?

During the day when my son's awake he's normally great with him very loving. My son's from a different relationship

[stbmrs]

Just to add. I'm not concerned about his relationship with my son i'm worried about his relationship with me.

[Mish]

How old are you and how long have you been together?

[vashti]

Just to add. I'm not concerned about his relationship with my son i'm worried about his relationship with me.

IMO, you should be. He is teaching your kid what a woman should be expected to tolerate in a relationship.

[Gigabitch]

Why don't you start with, "Where the **** were you until daybreak?"

[Lite]

If his acid reflux is still bothering him that much, he isn't taking it seriously. As someone who suffers from it chronically I get to eat about 1/2 the foods I like anymore on a regular basis because of it. I sleep with a bed wedge every night. I take lots of medication daily for it.

It isn't something to be screwed around with, and he doesn't take his own health seriously. With that, having been said, it doesn't sound like he takes you very seriously either.

[lahnnabell]

As Giga said, this guy isn't being responsible for himself, his future son, and you, his future wife. Are you really going to tolerate his coming home at 7am when you're married?

You also say "all the housework he has me doing". Um, is he even attempting to share in household upkeep? Sounds like he needs to grow up a little. He's sticking you with chores and leaving your bed to hang with some dude all night. And his ex g/f was present at one point? Um, no. I would be putting my foot down right about now if I were you.

[Cbrider]

Damn, you guys are patient, I would have pulled all the covers to my side and kicked him out of bed.

[sirgregory1st]

If I thought I could do whatever I wanted and be let to do it I would, you cant blame the guy. Never dated a girl who would tolerate that though. My advice is set you personal rules if he don't like it he can move on. Don't be mad if you've never said it bothered you, just be "as a matter of fact" about it and that its not something you expect in a relationship. lol, I cant even imagine trying that, holy crap i'd get my butt reamed! acid reflux as an excuse to stay out all night... lol nice.
If you have already set the lets call it "rules of conduct" and it still happens then by all means leave a pillow on the couch for him and the bedroom door locked, if that doesn't fix it. put a $5 dollar chain lock thing on the door, when he leaves at night lock it, let him sleep on the lawn at 6:45 am... keep the chain locked longer and longer each time he does it days if need be, that's how i'd expect to be treated

[bluesummer]

I started putting the chain lock on when my ex-husband decided to start coming home at 7am at least three nights a week. He wouldn't answer his phone the whole time he was out. He wouldn't say where he was going, either. Just "out".

The worst part was, before the lock, he'd crawl into bed and try to get it on with me. You don't want to expose your junk to a woman who's ready to rip it off and shove it down your throat.

[stbmrs]

Mishanya:
We're both 26 and have been together about 6 months

vashti:
I agree but when my son is around he treats me well and we don't fight or anything.

Lite:
I worry very much he doesn't take me seriously i love the man but still

lahnnabell:
When we're married no. the idea of his doing house work is about as funny as me lifting out house above my head. He wont even bring his dirty dishes down from our bedroom and then yells at me for not doing it. I really do think he need to do alot of growing up but i don't want to lose him because i love him.

sirgregory1st:
I'm a very understanding woman and don't mind his going out when i'm asleep just not when he stays out until i have to leave, that's when i mind.

Everyone:
I chose not to really say anything that night but it ended up coming up anyway in bits and peaces but i really don't know if it did any good. Although i did get him to tell me he'd never cheat on me which is good.

[Gigabitch]

Although i did get him to tell me he'd never cheat on me which is good.

And you believe him because he's been so reliable and upstanding in every other regard?

[stbmrs]

And you believe him because he's been so reliable and upstanding in every other regard?

He's been honest at least