How can I be the perfect ex???

[teethgrinder]

Paint the picture: Me and my ex were going out for 5 months. She broke it off with me saying I could do better. I know it seems like a lame excuse but she is really insecure. 9 months after that, we got back together (she asked me out again). 2 1/2 years down the line, last week she broke it off with me again. Why? The main reason being we have a lot of arguements that spur out of control. Something little ends up in a big shouting match, mainly stemming from her insecurities and jealousy. I am 22 and have just finished university. She is 18 and just started university about a month ago. I am finding it really hard. I think she is finding it easier due to the new lifestyle she is encountering. One of the main reasons is jealously. She was extremly jealous I had a lot of female friends, went out a lot etc. . . typical uni life. When she went to uni, I started feeling the same, something I never thought I would. I am a hypocrite. She went through the pain of feeling she was wrong, now I'm doing the same thing.

I really love her and even though the arguements are a strain, I can deal with them. She says she can't anymore but she still loves me. She wants to see if fate will play its cause and we will get back together again. She still wants to be friends. She says she want to keep in touch and she thinks in the future we can get back together once we have both matured.

What do you think I can do to maximise my chances of getting back with her? Should I stay friends with her and talk? At the moment I find myself pestering her all the time. Or should I say I can't be friends, and let me know in the future if you want to get back with me? Or should I say we need some time apart? I know time apart is probably the best thing but I'm finding it so so so difficult. I'm really scared that now in her new environment, she is going to find someone better.

Any suggestions?

[bluestrattos]

it will be very hard to do it, but keep in touch with her, just has a friend. Don't try to get back to her now and don't pester her. Give time to time and whatever will be, will be.

[PandaCivic]

the perfect ex is someone that leaves her alone no contact whatsoever, cold turkey. other than that, there's no such thing.

[kronos51]

I think both of the above replies can be right in a way. If you want to remain friends, (and ive said this many times here already =P) then make sure you tell her that you still care, and dont try to fool her or yourself, otherwise you will get hurt. If you cant deal with being friends and not being with her, then do the best for yourself and break away, it will hurt less.

The path I'm taking is staying friends but telling her that I love her. It helps however that she still lovs me and is just trying to figure things out for herself.

Good luck in whatever you choose