What does he want? I need a hint.

[AutumnBorn]

Hi...First post, but I'll try to make this as concise as possible.

My ex looks so disappointed, crushed sometimes when I leave too quickly from his house for his taste or don't see him. But he left me, he moved on, he got closure.

Married a long time. He moved out 2.5 years ago. Divorced 1.5 years. Two kids - 23 and 16 years. I still live in our family home. Yes, he cheated, lied, ran personal ads and responded to them seeking sex with anonymous couples, secret female friends, the whole nine yards. I lost the love of my life. He lost...a housekeeper? 70% of the house? 60% of our meager investments?

So, we have a semi-friendly relationship. He said he wanted very much to be friends, but I realized he wasn't actually much of a friend. He lies about his activities, doesn't include me in anything in his life, and has never invited me to so much as go to a movie with him. He would occasionally accept invites from me or our daughter to do things with us - go to improv shows mostly. I realize he's not much of a friend and if I'm going to really get over him (I still love him), I need to put some distance between us. After all, he's been dating someone for nine months, though he says he doesn't feel any spark there, that they're just sex buddies (I don't know that she is aware of her status).

To that end, I'm finding reasons to not see him. I make it very quick when I have to pick our daughter up at his place or stop by there to pick something up. He used to come over regularly to help with the house, but recently I've taken to hiring a handyman, asking friends to help, or simply doing things alone when I have to or can. We've seen each other twice in the past three weeks for approximately 3 minutes and once in the ER with our daughter for a couple of hours (she's fine). When he did come over, he did the work that needed to be done and left. He doesn't talk about anything meaningful, just his job, my dog, meaningless things.

He looks totally disappointed when I rush off, sometimes crushed. He can't hide it. I've told him so many times "I can handle it" when it comes to the house that he came right out and asked if I didn't want him around. I told him that I didn't want him to have to spend an hour getting over here just to (insert home maintenance job here) and to "go have fun". He sounds like he knows I'm making excuses.

Why does he look so hurt when I hurry off? I can't figure him out. He hurries off, but my God, when I do, it looks like he's shattered, but he never says a word.

What's up guys?

[AutumnBorn]

Yeah. He had me stumped, too. I've basically gone NC. Have seen him once since this post and again ran off ASAP. Again, disappointment.

[TAVS]

Who cares? Put some more distance between you and stop worrying about his feelings

[Disillusioned]

Ya. See him minimally. I can't understand why guys like that get what respect they do. Worry about your own feelings.