so confused about this girl

[wishin23]

i met this girl freshman yr, we lived next to each other. she became one of my best friends, we were close. i am just a clown, i always loved to make her laugh. she had this boyfriend the whole time, he is a nice kid, i hung out with him a few times, he went out to a different college but like i never thought he was the one for her.
just a lil background info, but basically it was me and 2 other guys she hung out with but she was the closest with me. we kept in touch a lil over winter break and summer.

This yr we lived in different dorms, but our dorms buidlings are like 1 min apart. i got caught up with hanging with all my teamates instead of her in the beginning of school, and football just took alot of time. but i missed her alot and we would always be drunk and end up talking at every dance party for a while. so on thanksgiving i asked her to hangout after break, she was like sure. i wanted to tell her that i missed her alot but i found out during that break i liked her more than a friend. well the day she comes over, she tells me b4 all her other friends who were her roomates last yr and talk to her everyday, i havent hung out with her in 2 months, that she got in a big fight with her best friend and broke up with her bf. she talked about formals but i was so stupid i didnt read it well, she wanted me to offer to take her but i didnt. i just tried to make her laugh and keep her mind off it. so anyways i got drunk the following weekend and txted dumbthings basically meaning i liked her more than a friend. she responded with i cant handle this, i cant handle what ur saying to me. i asked her what she meant she played it off by saying i cant handle what u meant.

few days later, i wanted to give her a christmas present but she wouldnt accept it, because she said she wouldnt be able to handle the present, she never saw it. this said on AIM. so i didnt give it to her. she wouldnt see me face to face after those txt msgs, she avoided me for the last week of school, and i wanted to just say goodbye b4 we lve for break, and she couldnt say goodbye to me, she purposely avoided me. 2 days before i was lving though, one of her friends died back at home, so i mean alot was going on, but really i just wanted to say goodbye. this all happened in the last 2 weeks.

as of right now, i have talked to her a lil bit on AIM, but nothing imporant just about christmas and stuff.

i feel its awkard b/w us now, and idk what to do, is she avoiding me bc she has feelings and cant deal wtih it or bc she doesnt want to hurt me.

i always thought we had a connection but im just lost.

[Gigabitch]

Back off. "I can't handle this" is pretty clear. I don't know if there's potential for the future or not, but there certainly won't be if you blow it by pushing.

My take on it is you kind of startled her. There you were in the Friend Zone and you started popping up with all this other stuff.

Give her some time. She'll figure it out soon, I'm sure.

[wishin23]

all my friends think she does like me, but idk i do know her the best but i never been in a situation with her like this.

i dont know how to approach her, when we go back to school, do i try to ask her to hang out, do i try to apologize for messing up 4 not being there when i rly should have been, i feel like i have to apologize b4 she will ever hang. but should i do it as soon as i see her or what?

[Gigabitch]

Make yourself approachable and try to be more perceptive about hints, if you really think you've missed them in the past, but don't approach her right away.

Remember, if she wanted a puppy, she'd go to the animal shelter.

[GrkScorp]

Remember, if she wanted a puppy, she'd go to the animal shelter.

Not true!

I STRONGLY disagree with this 100%!

If she wanted a puppy, she could also go to a dog farm or the pet store!

In fact; it's very possible that she would actually prefer to go to the pet store or a dog farm if she was looking for a puppy, instead of going to a shelter.

I think I should write 10,000 words and talk about WHY she would choose to go to one over the other, but I think the issue has already gone on long enough!

[wishin23]

thanks for the responses just to give u a little info, its just she means alot to me bc she is a close friend and for her to not say goodbye to me when break came, rly did hurt. break is comin to end, its ends jan 15. so about 4 weeks, but technically like 5 weeks since i seen her face to face.

I think just knowing her, i have to apologize, but the thing is how do i make her feel comfortable like she did b4, she knows i like her but idk what she thinks of me. i was thinking of just telling her this: i love you too much to let something come between us X, but im sorry for messing up last semester, not hanging much with u, sending the drunken messages, but most of all not offering to take u to formal when u brought it up to me, you know would i have gone with u in a heartbeat but i just misread what you were sayin.

like the issue is how do i make her feel comfortable knowing she knows i like her but idk if she has feelings for me though. its hard to tell bc there was so much goin on.
i felt like she did have a thing for me but never did anything cause she is faithful to her former bf. she remembers the littles things, always ask about the girls im trying to get with, laughs at everything i tell her, always looks at me when we speak like into me if u get what i mean.

i hate this situation, this sucks for real

[Gigabitch]

Are you absolutely SURE she wanted you to ask her to the formal? If there's any chance at all she didn't, you'll be making a total ass of yourself by apologizing for not doing it.

I say hold on to your dignity. You tend to overshare, I think.

[wishin23]

im absoluterly sure about the formals because she first told me first, and after i didnt ask, 2 days later my friend who lives next to her, heard the story and offered to take her, and she went with him, her best friend was mad at me for not offering when she brought it up to me. but the worst part is, she didnt really want to talk to me after that, it was like i let her down for not being there for her if u know what i mean, what you think i should do, now knowing more of the situation?

like its just so iffy because i cant lose her as a close friend thats y im so worried about what to say to her and i want her to feel comfortable around me. i am gonna talk to her as soon as i can when i see her at school bc i dont want it to dwell any longer. but i think its clear to me she doesnt want a bf right now, but im not trying to make her think its go out with with me now or never, i just wanted to let her know i do like her and hope something can become of it but idk how to explain that to her.