dont wanna be only a rebound

[lightning]

lately (a month and a half) I had a date with a guy I met over facebook who is a friend of friend..
We really clicked, and it seems that we both really liked each other

He told me about his past relationships and I told him about mine...we both were expriencing healing process of past break up..

The next day after we first met he called me and then we started to hang out together and things are going awesome (he didnt tell me we are dating or anything though)

Now through this month he has been the most supportive guy I've ever got to know, he calls daily first thing at morning..he send me good night message before I sleep..we hang out like 3 times a week...he even freaks out when I ignore him a little

But when s I check his facebook sometimes (notice the sometimes!! not always) he write small poems of his last ex (of year and a half).its clear he is very hurt about it and he isnt over it yet but she is married now so he is trying to move on...

Now when he does this I hint him I'm not comfortable by getting a bit cold to him but since we arent dating I dont wanna get angry because that will sound odd but at the same time I dont feel like to be the rebound girl because I'm expriencing a break up too...

My friend advicing me to take it slowly especially that the guy is too awesome and he isnt likely to hurt me. but you know each day pass I feel to like him even more and I'm just scared..

What should I do?

[scents]

It sounds like you're friends now... unless there's a physical component.

Your friend is right; take it slow. His feelings may become more than platonic in the future, but right now, it doesn't seem so. Friendship is a good beginning place for a relationship, so focus on keeping that strong.

When the time is right, he'll make a move. If you are about to explode, you can tell him your feelings without pushing him; a true friend won't let that hurt the friendship.

[lahnnabell]

You're facebook stalking him? Already? Not cool. And yeah, it's clear he's not over his ex. There is nothing you can do to speed the process up, and if you stick around you may find that you're nothing more than a band-aid for his loneliness and hurt. He has someone he can splurge all his affections on since his ex isn't around for it.

Doesn't matter if this guy is awesome. Men hurt women for seemingly petty reasons all the time. This is more than petty. He's recovering from a break-up, and that's a big deal. Instead of doing the personal work and growth he needs right now, he's wiling away his time with you. This will most likely not have the happy ending you want.

Also, you are experiencing a break up too. So what makes you want to be with this new guy so quickly? Do you really have feelings for him, or are you just enjoying the attention he is giving you because you too need a band-aid?

[lightning]

ok I agree with you that I need to take things slow (and so he does)

and I'm not stalking but come on, if I see his status it doesnt mean I'm stalking him

I just wanna take it slowly because seriously i'm very confused about him, sometimes I'm very attracted to him and other times I feel he is not the one and so on..

The problem is he just wanna be around all the time, and I dont wanna push him away but how can I tell him I wanna take things slowly when we're not even dating?

for instance yesterday he called and I was asleep so he sent a message saying "it seems you've already slept" later when we talked he said "just tell me before you sleep next time"

[lahnnabell]

Yikes. He wants to know when you're going to bed each and every night? Uh. Yikes.

[lightning]

not only that, he sends me before he goes to bed a good night message if I dont reply at morning he calls and say "where have you been?"

the problem is I see he is taking things fast but dont know where we are heading honestly

[lahnnabell]

He's very needy and co-dependent. He's gotta take a step back, or you're just going to feel smothered and resentful sooner than later. This is all a side-effect of not being over his ex yet. Tell him you need time and space from him, 'cause he needs the same from you. We can only begin to really heal ourselves when we have enough room to do some quiet reflection. He's using this "relationship" with you as a crutch, or a band-aid. When he's feeling better he'll move on. Most of the time it happens that way.

[Gigabitch]

^^^ I agree. You're definitely the rebound girl. He probably won't hurt you on purpose, but he's already hurt you by not being into you the way you'd like him to be.

Pain is useful. It's how we learn to stop doing something. Every time this guy posts a little poem about his ex, it hurts, and you should pay attention to that.

[all alone]

If you really want to attempt to be with him, successfully, back off now and try again in a few months. Then both u heads will be cleared.