Funny Customer Reviews

[NeoSeminole]

post 'em if you got 'em. Here are some that I've come across.

Bose Acoustimass 5 - Speaker System

"I can't believe I bought this piece of crap. I thought Bose was good by their reputation. I bought this system and called a couple of friends to show it off. My friend Carl called me over and put on some music on his home built system. I was totally blown away. He put on Genesis "The Lamb" And my hair stood up. The detail, the highs the lows, he poured me a glass of single malt and it danced off the table. Like my $1,000 Bose system could do this? Not! He put on some organ music and I seriously thought the building was going to come down on us. He laughed like a mad scientist. My $1.200.00 Bose system sounds like a toy compared to this. Tinny, no midrange, deep bass or high trebles. I'm either taking it back or selling it on eBay. Carl says he will build me a decent system in his cabinet shop. Sometimes one needs a good short, sharp shock. Oh yeah, listening to Pink Floyd on Carl's system is like dropping acid and he says he can put one together for me for under $1,000.00. Everyone should have a friend Carl and everyone should avoid Bose."

Ergopharm Clearshot Review (a pre-workout supplement)

"I have never in my life experienced something that builds so fast, so rapidly, and so much. What do I mean? Well let me explain it like this. It starts coming like a speeding run-away freight train- That is far, far away. You know something is coming at you but you don't know what, when, or exactly how far away it is. You begin to hear it in the distance about 2 minutes after finishing the bottle. The next minute you hear and sense it far in the distance ... but you know it is closing on you fast. Then the ground starts to rumble a bit... and your mental focus improves just enough.. to realize you are standing directly on the train track. Now your worried- and you should be. Around the corner of the mountain the it comes... now it is speeding up... downhill... Your stuck right in the middle of the railroad tracks... and the ground is pounding now.. You know there is no turning back now. Something is coming. It's the Apple. First you respect it- then you begin to fear it- it is is not even here yet. Just one of those life experiences where your instinct let's you know before it fully happens. When the fear sets in you being to Pray. You Pray to GOD .. ask him for help when you realize what is about to happen. He answers your prayers- But not the answer you want to hear. GOD says to you "I can not help you now... It's too late. The Apple is coming! " You have a full and complete understanding that.. You can not stop it- is is by definition unstoppable."

Then ...BOOM! The apple comes. You smile for no reason. You feel great. The energy is excessive. Your smarter than you ever have been in your whole life. Happier. And nothing in this world can stop you. You are now experiencing an unmatched zone type mental focus,- that you have never experienced before. Focus like a Catholic priest on a schoolboy. Alertness - This stuff allows one to perform the most mundane of work with the tenacity of a teenage guy working over his cougar of a teacher. In the gym you see nothing that distracts. No other people. No other machines. All you see is you.. and the weight. You have a new mental state in the gym. Some things just become clear- things you have never seen before. The unimportant becomes invisible as not to distract. You realize for the first time- today and for the rest of your life, never again will you let the weight know you are scared of it. Perhaps in the past you have done that- when your tired, or distracted, or sick. But today is a new day. The Apple has come. Being tired does not matter. Headaches do not matter. Illness does not matter. Every excuse you ever had becomes irrelevant the second you drink a Clearshot. You are no longer afraid. It's the weight's turn to be scared. Even heavy ass weight is worried what your gonna do to it."

[NeoSeminole]

Tripp Lite Optic Digital Audio Cable

"i bought this and thought i needed it ... still haven't found out what it is for. have looked into a newer home theater unit still can't see where it is needed." (customer gave it a 1 star rating)

Cables To Go Digital Audio Cable

"I really don't know how to review a cable, other than to say I hooked it up and it worked just like it's supposed to, so five stars."

[Sanctuary]

lol people are funny

[AdminOnline]

Lol!! :d:d:d

[NeoSeminole]

60" Pioneer Elite KURO Plasma TV

"When I first saw this TV online, I laughed about the idea of spending $4500 (at Best Buy) on a toy. I did plan to get the 50" Elite at Best Buy, because $3000 was the most I was willing to pay for a large TV, and the only reason I considered the Elite over the wonderful 58" Panasonic was because I compared the Elite to the Panasonic and fell in love with the Pioneer. However, long story short, my wife wasn't satisfied with the smaller Elite, so I shelled out the money for the 60" (domestic politics, am I right fellas?!)."

[BoredGeorge]

Customers are bad people. If you buy anything, ever, then you are bad.

[CocoChanel]

This guy bought uranium ore for his cat. LMAO!

54 of 61 people found the following review helpful:
Rating: 1.0 out of 5 stars
Subject: I bought it for my Cat, September 11, 2009
By Christopher Brinkworth "Chris Brinkworth" (NYC)

I bought this for my cat and put it with a flask containing poison, in a sealed box. Do you think he likes it ? I've not opened the box yet.

And another funny from this product is this one.

386 of 398 people found the following review helpful:
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Subject: So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore.
January 21, 2009

I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn't sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.

Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people's privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.

The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.

Published 11 months ago by Kyle J. Von Bose

LOL. Doh!

558 of 572 people found the following review helpful:
Rating: 3.0 out of 5 stars
Subject: Great Product, Poor Packaging

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

Published 7 months ago by Patrick J. McGovern

[url]http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/product-reviews/B000796XXM/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1[/url]

[Sanctuary]

This guy bought uranium ore for his cat. LMAO!

I bet his name is Schrodinger.

Lol I didn't know you could buy Uranium on Amazon. The product itself is a setup for so many jokes.

[NeoSeminole]

CocoChanel, nice find! How did you come across it?

[NeoSeminole]

The Mountain Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark"

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A"]Amazon.com: The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee: Clothing[/ame]

[CocoChanel]

Someone wrote a blog about their purchase of it and had a link to Amazon. So I went and started reading reviews. LOL! They were hilarious!