My gay guy friend & I make out. Any other gay guys do this w/ straight female friend

[destiny14]

My gay guy friend & I make out. Any other gay guys do this with a straight female friend, too? & Vice Versa
I've know this guy for about half a year. He has said he was gay, but he lies a loooot. He occasionally does gay-ish things (But I'm not a guy so it might be normal amongst best male friends) like holding hands with guys in public and other things. He's said two times he's not gay with me in the room both times. We hang out quite often now and we've slept over in each other’s dorm in the same bed cuddling and whatnot which didn't seem weird at all. But one day we started licking each other which eventually led to tongue sucking, hickeys on me, and him rubbing my back and stomach skin on skin.. He says he doesn't like boobs but he has definitely laid his head on mine and he tries not to touch me on my butt which he did the last time we 'made out'. He and couple of other guy friends say they mentally think of me as a guy but physically see me as a girl.
I like him and what we're doing is fun; I try not to think about it, but it is driving me a little crazy. Sometimes I think no way he's gay. Is he??? What do I do?

[smackie9]

HE is bi-sexual.

[Starnique]

Yeah, Im with Smackie. If he was str8 gay, he may find you attractive but not enough to take it there with you. I have a gay friend and I can be naked around him and he doesnt get excited. He said I have a nice body but thats as far as it goes. Hes not sexual with me at all so Im with Smackie.

[Rowen]

I am....actually on the fence about this one, so part of me agrees with Smackie and Starnique, but part of me has a different theory. And I will tell you why:

I'm a gay guy, and I will admit that I have a fair amount of female friends. My one best friend is a female, actually, and I feel nothing like any sort of attraction to her like that... At all. Like...completely soft is the best pair of words to describe it. Never thought about kissing and never have just because I'd rather, honestly, kiss a guy. While I can recognize she's beautiful, there's no way that I'd ever do anything of what you describe... I'll be fair and say that every gay guy has their different comfort zone, but this guy doesn't sound right...

The first theory is the one that Smackie presented. If he's making out with you full on like that, there's obviously something there. Have you ever talked to him about how long he's known he's been gay? What kind of guys is he attracted to? Has he ever done anything with a guy? Those are questions that I know I've been asked in the past before, so maybe that can help you verify it? If he answers the first by saying that he has known for a year or less, I would say it's grounds for believing that he's going through a phase. Sometimes, there are cases of guys over-thinking things when it comes to sexuality, especially if they're in younger generations like ours. Now, I'm not saying that everyone who discovers that they're gay is just going through a phase, of course. But it does happen to some where their feelings can sometimes diminish the more same sex contact that they have. A phase would especially be the probable case if he has never done anything with a guy. But at the same time, he could just be bisexual as well. It all depends on how turned on he gets when he's making out with you. Not to sound dirty, but the best way would probably be to "accidentally" feel the bulge in his jeans next time he makes out with you...and then dismiss it as an accident if he says "what the hell?"

The second theory is a bit more hurtful if it turns out to be true. I've heard a number of stories about some of my friends' friends at colleges trusting guys they thought were gay just like you have. In the end, they turned out to be straight guys trying to get action out of unsuspecting girls. I know it's messed up, but it happens. They get close because they can appear innocent that the girls don't question things that would normally challenge their comfort zones (such as looking at them naked). As a result, they get the attention they want from the girl without her being all the wiser until she figures it out. And when she does, I imagine it must really hurt... I'm not saying that all gay guys are just straight guys pretending, but there are a select number of instances where this is actually true, especially if the girls have never seen the guy do anything like kiss another guy or something. If you really wanted to test this and had another gay friend you KNEW was gay, you could ask your friend if it's alright to introduce him to this guy you're writing about. If he's straight, he won't go through anything gay just to keep up a ruse.

So, all I'm saying is that you might want to take a step back and assess things and/or have an honest talk with him about all this so you can get it all squared away.

[destiny14]

Thanks for the input smackie and starnique!

[destiny14]

@Rowen Thank you so much for commenting! I was really hoping to get someone with a perspective such as yours.
I didn't question the fact that he was gay until the two times he said he wasn't and he would talk sex talk about girls with his guy friends and even then I didn't say anything to him. We didn't do anything but him lay on me in a intimate way and I think I might have felt a bulge...

That seems pretty possible but I think if it is he's not trying to get in my pant. If anything he just wants to mess around. He acts like a typical virgin guy "vagina is scary, boobs are weird" and he just thinks of me as some innocent girl. When I joke that I'm going to take a shirt off (even when he knows I have 2 shirts on) he freaks out a bit.

Thanks for the advice again, Rowen! I think I will have to talk to him. -_- Im nervous. I'm so bad at confrontation.

[smackie9]

Rowen does have a point there, because well you said this guy lies a looooooot. BUT I don't know of a straight guy that would go to lengths such as holding hands with guys in public to make it look like he is gay. Giving a girl lots of alcohol would be easier, you know what I mean? This is college tho and sex is free game so don't expect a solid committed relationship with this guy. It's obvious he is just a horny guy looking for some action, gay, bi or straight.

[Rowen]

Rowen does have a point there, because well you said this guy lies a looooooot. BUT I don't know of a straight guy that would go to lengths such as holding hands with guys in public to make it look like he is gay. Giving a girl lots of alcohol would be easier, you know what I mean? This is college tho and sex is free game so don't expect a solid committed relationship with this guy. It's obvious he is just a horny guy looking for some action, gay, bi or straight.

That's a good point. He'd have to be comfortable with sexuality to actually hold hands.

But I think this OP is looking for hope that she'll have a chance to be with him, possibly. She made a duplicate thread in the Male Forum.

[VerticalMoon]

I don't know how old or sexually experienced he is, but he might still just be figuring out his sexuality. What you do is treat this the way you would any other friends with benefits situation. Can you keep it at a friendship level? Are you willing to take the risk that it could ruin the friendship? If not, then you end things.

[smackie9]

Hey sounds like he will eventually want to do the deed, but that's all this is, is sex, nothing here would indicate a relationship at all.

[bulrush]

I think he's bi but doesn't realize it. My gay friends want absolutely nothing from a girl in a physical way.

[pcmaster]

Saying that you are gay is a good excuse how to make out with someones girlfriend in front of him.

[destiny14]

I made a duplicate...? OH because I wanted male point of views as well as female point of views.

[destiny14]

@pcmaster ...This doesn't apply to me at all.

[destiny14]

It's obvious he is just a horny guy looking for some action, gay, bi or straight.

I've definitely come to this conclusion especially since he told me he has a boyfriend and girlfriend and they are all in open relationships.