Building Relationships......?

[clynn]

Anyone ever have a relationship that started off slow and built into something more serious?

Wanna share stories?

[TAVS]

I did I suppose. Living together had the greatest impact. I started appreciating her more than I did when we first started dating. You see I was just looking for a rebound girl at the time. She was close to what you'd call a goth so definately not someone I would really be interested in. I guess she wasn't a goth but she wore all black and hung out with D&D type people. Anyway, it probably took a year of dating before I realized what we had. She grew on me shall we say. As our relationship grew, she started wearing less and less black and turned into a very beautiful woman. That lasted for four years before it fell apart. With any luck, I'll get a second chance some day because I love her very much.

[clynn]

aaah, that is a sad story. What happened?

[TAVS]

See my thread...
http://www.loveforum.net/t8343-love-problems-never-yea-right-(long).html

[singularity2006]

Relationships are like building chairs. And I mean this in terms of all relationships whether they are business, casual, or romantic relationships. Imagine wood parts as being your life experiences. I guarantee that there will be no lasting relationship that is 100% devoid of conflict. With conflict is where we find the necessary points to solidify a relationship. Like a conflict shows weakness, compromise is like nailing the pieces of wood together to form the bonds to build a stable chair. There are two things that can happen at this point because hitting nails into wood is analagous to conflict between two people. When both sides refuse to give in, you end up bending the nail after hitting it. The wooden pieces never get together. But given that at both parties are more interested in resolving conflict as opposed to winning an argument, compromise is made and a clean hit is made to the nail, driving it straight into the wooden pieces. This is an on-going process with no end in terms of finding differences here and there.

But mind you, when the same issues come up repeatedly over and over, there will be problems, regardless of how much compromise is reached. Imagine trying to create one joint in that chair with a dozen nails. Each a clean hit, each firmly binding the two wodden pieces - until the last nail drives itself in. There will be a point where you will simply have too many nails in the same spot, causing the wood to split, break, and become unusable thus rendering your building materials useless and your chair in an irreparable state.

And lastly, there is also the issue of those relationships that seem perfect from the get-go. Though they may go on for years, there will be eventually a point in time where something will happen that will require both parties to actually sit down on that chair. Without conflict and resolution as a regular and integral part of a relationship, it will be as if a child were stacking pieces of wood on top of each other like a game of Jenga. Without any nails holding things together, you will fall flat on your ass when you actually try sitting on that chair.

The main idea? Relationships of all types are processes, guaranteed and there will always be times where something small ends up feeling as something big. But do keep in mind that frequent conflict regarding the same issue as well as no conflict at all leads to unstable relationships.

[Only-virgins]

Its all about sex. Thats it. That is the conclusion I have came too. I thought I wanted a relationship and now I realize I just want sex....lots of it..and then after I am done with sex I can just die.

[clynn]

yep, i sure dig s-e-x. I mean if it weren't about that I'd be content with all my wonderful female friends. But they sure don't give me that which only sex with a man can. And since I like s-e-x with a regular partner (the sex is better) then figuring out the relationship part I must do.....

[Only-virgins]

(the sex is better)

opinion.



I just realized also that I don't like having guy friends. I ignore my friends....probably because sex will never happen with them...and I find absolutly nothing wrong with that...they kind of annoy me.
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[Blink]

yeah i suppose i have. when i first met my bf (he wasnt my bf then) and i met him through a friend of a friend and we met online, and after we talked to each other for a bit we decided to meet up next time our friends met up. When i first aw him i new there was something about him. and then we decided to meet up on our own. we jus held hands at first.and after that day i new there was somehting about him, and now 6 months later (today) im still with him and we are really in love and we have been building our relationship ever since and it is only recently i have reliased how much i really do love him. weve talked about sex and all we are both virgins. wel thats my story x

[clynn]

Thanks for sharing.

Ooooh....I'd never ignore my female friends for a man at all. Ever ever. They are my rock, for sure, they definitely don't annoy me!

[Only-virgins]

Friends will back stab you. All of them.