Email to another girl

[bright_eyes]

*note*
I didn't go out of my way to snoop but hey, I did and I don't want to start this thread out in denial. It's about what was found and how its constantly lurking in my mind despite how loved I sometimes feel.
*background*
I am in a relationship now with this guy and we have been together in general over a period of years, but I have been away at school inbetween and so it was mainly contained to a few summers and hot nights inbetween. We get along great and are friends all the time whether or not we're together. It has kinda just seemed like of course we'll get back together - I have been jealous of other girls he's been with but of course because I love the guy and hate how our relationship has been plagued with bad timing. There was namely one other girl that came inbetween, Jenn, that he was with for a long painful time. (couple yrs, living together etc)
*now*
We've now been together since the last spring and are still together and finally moving in with each other as I am not returning to shcool this fall!!
*my question*
I found in an email from him to Jenn
'I've been waiting for you, and no matter what I'm doing or who I'm with I would drop anything to be with you again' and 'you have no idea how much I hope we will be together again someday. it never leaves my mind'

This is not the most recent excerpt however, and I understand that someone can be serious about one person and move on in the future - it happens all the time. But how am I to know that I am not just a filler while he waits for the other girl to sort her shit out and return to him. And then what becomes of me?

On top of this what really bothers me is the fact that not only was this promise-to-return written, but that it was written (not this summer but) during a time when he and I WERE together. That hurts. And confuses me. I thought our times together were the BEST and I thought he agreed . I could sense nothing that suggested otherwise.

I can't bear to bring it up and not even out of shame of having snooped but of what it could mean to our relationship. But should I?
Should I live in the now and hope he's not currently writing emails like that or even making plans to leave? At what point can I be sure that this other girl no longer has free reign to sabatoge my relationship?? Is my time on him wasted ?

[lastwish]

LOL. How did you get your hands on that email?

Anyways...I say the email is irrelevant. What matters is how he treats you. Is he attentive and does he make sacrafices for you? If his actions show that he cares for you and invests in the relationship than I don't think the email matters at all.

[bright_eyes]

Yes he treats me well.

The thing is that he did before too, at which point he was dreaming of getting back with his other gf.. just seems a little wrong to me.
Its likely because I know that the REASON for their breakup was her 'immaturity' and needing to get things together for herself. I think she had some drug issues and depression issues and just wanted time to herself. In this case is it not merely a matter of time before they get back together?

It doesnt take much filling in the blanks but that email was a straightforwad
I will leave "bright_eyes" for you
no?
- I should ignore this and hope that this time's different? And be able to sleep at night? lol