fear of losing interest in girlfriend

[Pieturli]

I know I had a similar post on this website earlier but this deals with a slightly different problem. For the past couple days I've had a strange lack of interest in hanging out with my girlfriend. We had a fight last wednesday and I think thats where this originates from, though this feeling of apathy really only came into being yesterday. This is a very abnormal situation for me as I generally feel like I could hang with my girlfriend all day every day, but suddenly I dont want to. I have some form of anxiety disorder, and I think this might be triggering this powerful reaction from me, but I thought I'd see what you people thought. Is it possible for me to momentarily lose interest in my girlfriend and is it normal? Any help would be appreciated, I'm feeling pretty horriffic as I do not want to end our relationship. I'm a complete novice at dating, and this is my first real girlfriend (I'm 18). I certainly hope it's just my anxiety acting up

[*1983*]

Sadly this just happens sometime and if your feelings are changing then there is nothing you can do about it. Maybe suggest that you keep away for a couple of day and see if you miss her. If you don't then there is your answer. If you do then its ok

[Doc Durian]

Nothing wrong with spending a little extra quality time with yourself on the odd occasion.

Explain to her that you feel you need to hang out with yourself for a week or so... get to know yourself... even, explore yourself?

(But choose a different way to say it and definitely, with different wording...)

[Pieturli]

I have had times when I just wanted to do some other shit than hang out with her, but I dont know this feels different. On the other hand, it could purely be my anxiety acting up, you know, my subconscious making this a bigger issue than it really is. I certainly hope so. So I guess I'm asking is it normal to occasionally lose interest in seeing her? You know in a sense that my interest would return after a bit. Or am I just doomed? the thought of ending this relationship sucks the big one, I love her and even the thought of losing this relationship is pretty horrifying.

[Doc Durian]

I have had times when I just wanted to do some other shit than hang out with her, but I dont know this feels different. On the other hand, it could purely be my anxiety acting up, you know, my subconscious making this a bigger issue than it really is. I certainly hope so. So I guess I'm asking is it normal to occasionally lose interest in seeing her? You know in a sense that my interest would return after a bit. Or am I just doomed? the thought of ending this relationship sucks the big one, I love her and even the thought of losing this relationship is pretty horrifying.

If there's honesty, she understands, and it works for both of you... what's bad about it?

I love my time alone, and I never know when it's going to strike my fancy. Suppose it's not traditional in the strongest sense, but if you have a nomadic mindset... or are a loner, it's how you're geared.

[Pieturli]

I certainly hope that this is the case. This fear is unexplainable, I feel a terrifying fear that I'm going to lose interest and break up with her. In a sense, its kind of like being dumped by myself. And that my friend, makes no sense whatsoever. Which leads me to believe that my anxiety has something to do with this, because regardless of my genuine wish to continue dating, I feel a panic inducing fear that I'll get bored and dump her.

[Doc Durian]

Maybe you just have reservations about your relationship, and this is how they're coming to the surface?

You said that you're 18 and it's your first proper relationship.

Wouldn't be the first time that an 18 year old expressed some anxiety about what they were doing and where they could be going...

[Pieturli]

well yes that would certainly make sense. I'm starting to be quite convinced that this is a normal part of relationships but my anxiety is making it into the end of the world

[Junket]

Don't worry.

Human males are not naturally monogamous.

Serial monogamous at best.

[Yggdrasil]

Relations are like a rubber band. You get closer, you pull away, then you get closer again. Sometimes the rubber band hurts the other, sometimes it breaks.

[Lite]

Don't worry.

Human males are not naturally monogamous.

Serial monogamous at best.

Actually, current studies suggest that women are less likely to be monogamous than men due to behavior of brain chemicals. She will pair bond until the child is born, and then go find the next suitable mate.

[Junket]

Actually, current studies suggest that women are less likely to be monogamous than men due to behavior of brain chemicals. She will pair bond until the child is born, and then go find the next suitable mate.

That makes sense since Vash would forgo her husband sooner than her children.

Vash proves that study 100% correct.

[pinkttulips]

Sometimes we need time to ourselves, nothing wrong with that... whatever you do, don't tell her you need a break because your not sure your attracted to her anymore... you may loose her telling her that. Do you really think a married couple of 20 yrs is attracted to each other every single day of the marriage? No, they aren't (and I'm 45 and was married for several yrs), the attraction comes and goes... you have the stresses of life that comes up, the routine of things, sickness, your man coming in from the garage all smelly, the wife going through her monthly thing being bloated and not looking so hot... that's life. To be in a relationship and thinking its all going to be roses and attraction all the time is not thinking in reality type terms... The question is, do you love her, do you miss her after a little time by yourself? (married people need to get away too, that's why its good to have a garage or the wife having lunch with her friends, etc, so to want to have time to yoruself is normal imo...), if the answer is yes, then dont worry about it. Hope that helps.