+ Follow This Topic
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 16

Thread: Why wont he marry me?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2

    Why wont he marry me?

    I have been dating my bf for 11 years and it seems as if he is not even thinking about marriage anytime soon. I feel as if it doesnt take 11yrs to figure out it you really want to be with somone or not. We have been through our ups and downs and there has been a lot to happen in our relationship. We both have cheated on each other and have hurt each other. I have forgivven him and want to move on, but it seems as if he doesnt want to take that next step. He knows that I want to be married and I have told him to not lead me on if he never plans on marrying me. He has even told me that I was better off marrying a stranger if I wanted to get married right now. He says that he cant talk to me, but I feel that he never even listens to what I have to say. He talks to his friends and he seems to take what they say to him versus me. I dont know whether to stay with him or just leave. I dont want to keep dating and he still says he doesnt want to get married a year later. I just dont know if he is really being honest with me. What should I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    975
    He doesn't want to marry you. It's not that he doesn't want to get married. All men would want to get married at some point....
    It's convenient for him to be with you right now, and he doesn't like changes. Do you want to have children? If not,
    then there is really no reason to get married really. If you two were to break up today, he will be married within
    1 year to someone else. This is usually how things work.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2
    Well we already have a 3yr old daughter. So neither of us want anymore children. I just want him to be honest, because eventually I will leave. I refuse to keep dating him and he doesnt want to take the next step.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Twin Cities
    Posts
    3,763
    Why buy the cow when he's been getting the milk for free for 11 years? You should have put your foot down years ago.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    UK: England
    Posts
    4,570
    If he hasn't taken the next step after 11 years, he's never likely too.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    Who cares what his reason is? I just want to know why you're still living with him.
    Spammer Spanker

  7. #7
    NBT's Avatar
    NBT is offline Registered User
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    170
    Quote Originally Posted by bernie1106 View Post
    I have been dating my bf for 11 years and it seems as if he is not even thinking about marriage anytime soon. I feel as if it doesnt take 11yrs to figure out it you really want to be with somone or not. We have been through our ups and downs and there has been a lot to happen in our relationship. We both have cheated on each other and have hurt each other. I have forgivven him and want to move on, but it seems as if he doesnt want to take that next step. He knows that I want to be married and I have told him to not lead me on if he never plans on marrying me. He has even told me that I was better off marrying a stranger if I wanted to get married right now. He says that he cant talk to me, but I feel that he never even listens to what I have to say. He talks to his friends and he seems to take what they say to him versus me. I dont know whether to stay with him or just leave. I dont want to keep dating and he still says he doesnt want to get married a year later. I just dont know if he is really being honest with me. What should I do?
    Do me a favor, and REALLY READ that section I just highlighted in bold.

    No, seriously. TRULY READ IT, and then ask yourself that question again.

    You've been with him 11 years.
    He's not trying to marry you.
    He doesn't listen to what you say.
    He doesn't care that you want to marry him.
    He listens to his friends, but won't listen to you.

    And lastly...

    He's TOLD you flat out that you'd be better off marrying a STRANGER than you would marrying him.

    I think the solution is CLEAR. You need to END this, but you WON'T.

    Instead, you will stay with him, hoping for a change that will never come.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    San Fran
    Posts
    729
    He doesn't want to marry you because he doesn't have to. He knows you aren't going anywhere so why should he marry you?

    He's not going to change, or miraculously see the light unless maybe there is a real fear of losing you. But honestly, do you want to get married to an asshole who ignores your wants and needs? Move on.

  9. #9
    NBT's Avatar
    NBT is offline Registered User
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    170
    Quote Originally Posted by LailaK View Post
    He doesn't want to marry you because he doesn't have to. He knows you aren't going anywhere so why should he marry you?

    He's not going to change, or miraculously see the light unless maybe there is a real fear of losing you. But honestly, do you want to get married to an asshole who ignores your wants and needs? Move on.
    *applauds this post*

    First time I have EVER THANKED someone in a post. It was that good.

    Nice job.

    Now only if she'll LISTEN...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    3
    I agree with everyone's statement.............He does not want to marry you. I have been dating my b/f for 2 years. He was with his previous g/f for 8 years and never even proposed. He said he knew he wasn't going to marry her, he flat out told her he didn't want to get married and they never talked about it. Us on the other hand, talk about it a lot. It will happen within the next year I am sure. Trust me...............He will NEVER marry you and if he does, it will be to keep you quiet.

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

  11. #11
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    15,081
    Another person who we've scared off to

    [url]www.onlywhatIwanttohear.com[/url]
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    UK: England
    Posts
    4,570
    I had a friend in the exact same situation. She was with her guy for around 10 years, they had one child and he wouldn't marry her. He'd tell her that he didn't believe in religion and religious ceremonies, that they didn't need to marry and to prove their love, that weddings were too expensive...money could be better spent on other things, etc.

    They ended up parting the ways and a year later he married some other woman. The wedding took place in some lavish castle in the countryside. which would have cost a fortune!! Funny how the money had been worth it on this occasion.

  13. #13
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    15,081
    Quote Originally Posted by xxazurexx View Post
    They ended up parting the ways and a year later he married some other woman. The wedding took place in some lavish castle in the countryside. which would have cost a fortune!! Funny how the money had been worth it on this occasion.

    Yes, this^.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  14. #14
    NBT's Avatar
    NBT is offline Registered User
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    170
    Quote Originally Posted by xxazurexx View Post
    I had a friend in the exact same situation. She was with her guy for around 10 years, they had one child and he wouldn't marry her. He'd tell her that he didn't believe in religion and religious ceremonies, that they didn't need to marry and to prove their love, that weddings were too expensive...money could be better spent on other things, etc.

    They ended up parting the ways and a year later he married some other woman. The wedding took place in some lavish castle in the countryside. which would have cost a fortune!! Funny how the money had been worth it on this occasion.
    This post should be read by EVERY woman in the OP's position.

    It might wake them up....maybe.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    319
    I WILL NEVER marry a girl that cheated on me. lol if you can cheat on me when were not married, what makes you think he will believe that you wont cheat on him when you guys are married? 11 years of the same pussy? , shit his tired of that.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. should I marry him
    By Sniff84 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 12-07-10, 03:46 AM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 17-03-10, 02:04 PM
  3. Should I marry her?
    By ppjones in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 31-01-10, 03:06 AM
  4. He wont have sex with me
    By Curious_1 in forum Intimate Forum
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 24-10-04, 04:13 PM
  5. she wont go away!
    By ltj5253 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16-09-04, 03:13 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •