should it be over or just part of a relationship?

[antoinette]

Hello,
my partner and I have been with each other for coming up 4 years. we have been arguing too much for my liking for a while now, silly things really most of the time like if there is something i dont agree with it will blow out of proportion,
I ask him to leave it be but insists on "getting his point accross", i have started agreeing with him saying okay, fine just leave it now i dont want to go though this but shouts and tells me im not listening or not getting the point repeting himself over and over,
thing is i really am, i dont need to be shouted at but apparently thats the only way it gets though to me. we have two large dogs, i take them out for a minumum of two 45 min walks a day whereas he thinks they only need a 20 min walk a day so this causes problems, hes not really an animal person, i have told him if they dont go out often then they will get naughty and if he doesnt want to take them out for as long as i would then dont i will do it, but this isnt good enough it needs to be hes way.
we have a good size garden and i do agility pieces with them in the garden but they need to socalize and stuff you know, he will smack them if they bark which drives me crazy! sometimes too hard! when i say something he replies with i didnt mean to do it that hard and that will cause an argument too,
it scares me coz i really think he might end up hitting me.
he will sometimes watch over my shoulder when im on the facebook and will make comments about my friends like what a dick or loser or something else. hes constantly telling me i have no common sense, im a dick when im drunk, i dont do anything mean i giggle and have a laugh, but he doesnt like it, always telling me to stop smoking, i do want to stop but i dont want to feel presured.that im messy and he dosnt like me going on top,
kissing, licking anywhere..we havent done anything for almost 2 months now,mainly down to me not wanting to come onto him coz he only bathes once a week now, he dose wash but he constantly smells of sweat. he says i should try it on with him... i bloody do/did but there is only so many times i can be told no its too late (at 8 or9oclock) before i have given up but also i say we should do this more, he says "I dont want to it become a chore" just everything and anything i say seems to be the wrong thing which he shouts at me for. this just dosnt seem to justify me picking up hes nasty stained underpants,
we very rearly have fun, we live in place that the locals have make us outcast so dont have many friends here

were both from a busy citys but met here.he suffers from pity,guilt deprssion so i have just let pasts go by but i am unsure as to wether this just happens in relationships or its just doomed. im only 25 i want to be in love i want passion. i love him, i believe he loves me dearly but i dont know if im asking too much,i want to feel special,i wanthim to be in love with me
i never had a family life so to speak so i have noone i can talk to. with them dragging me too and trow next kicking me out at 15 no fault of my own just i was ready to leave. i had always had aggression in my life i myself used to be aggressive but since i met him he showed me a different life,
i just seem to be going though all the shit again and cant handle it. he is under a lot of self made pressure, he has a well paid job fixing helicopters i have a part time min wage job, he thinks hes job is shit and always digging mine which makes me feel bad but i cant take the dogs out and clean up after all of us with a full time job and he wont let me get help, i dont feel that im good enough for him,but hes staying because he has nowhere to go and i think that i let him stay because of that and i would be stuck without that extra money he brings in. i think that i have changed and i dont like him anymore. would be great to know what you think coz im not sure neither does he. ta

[ladygrey]

Have you tried speaking to him about all these things? You sound very frustrated. Nothing will change without bringing up these issues with him. Maybe it would help to mention all these things that bother you and arrange a time to come back to the subject after he's had a chance to think about it.

[girl68]

he sounds like a jealous, angry, possessive, controlling asshole. It's a wonder why you 'love' him. Because none of that sounds like love to me.