Playing with fire or friendship? help me understand this man

[madman]

Hello,

I have developed feelings for a man and I believe it s the same from his side.
We both know we like each other..secretly..he is making his best to see me everyday (we work in the same place but different departments, sometimes different hours, depending on schedule) when I am not working in the morning he would pop in with an excuse in the afternoon ad so on. He recently told me he is happy I am there and that I make his day special. Anyway..as you might guess already there is a problem...he is married and older ( over 50 ) and I am in a long therm relationship and I am younger ( 27 ).. I don't flirt with him, we just talk very short. Although I tried to make him talk about his family he never mentions his wife, he always talks just about himself alone. The only clue I have about him being married is his ring. He is been following me like this for couple of months, coming everyday to make a small talk, friendly..even on Christmas he gave me some heart chocolates... I kind of got attached to him. I got a bit obsessed because of his this everyday visits and when he is not coming I wonder what's going on- sometimes he even comes 2 times to see me. I didn't have the courage to ask him what this is all about but meanwhile I kind of developed some sort of attachment or feelings for him..I know it's really wrong and I am feeling guilty but in the same time I got so used to wait for him to come everyday....I have no clue what he is up to..also I feel ashamed to ever mention to him that this is getting to much and I start having feelings..so can you please help me to understand what he is up to? Is he just obsessed to see me? I need some men opinions please....

[michelle23]

hes a narcissistic bastard preying on naive young women and yes you are naive to fall for his bulls**t. next time he comes near you-you need to grow a backbone and put this loser in his place. sure you have a tiny crush but you need to get over that and be as cold as ice with him.

hes twice your age, married, prob has kids too. do NOT be the other woman. imagine if you were married to a man for 20 or 30 years and he stabbed you in the back like this as if you are NOTHING. its sick and twisted and you shouldnt play any part in it. tell him you do not want his gifts or his attention and to leave you alone. you should have done that ages ago!

and what about your bf? you obviously dont have much respect for him if you have not told this man to get lost by now.

dont throw your life away. he just wants to use you for sex but in the end will f**k you up

[madman]

hes a narcissistic bastard preying on naive young women and yes you are naive to fall for his bulls**t. next time he comes near you-you need to grow a backbone and put this loser in his place. sure you have a tiny crush but you need to get over that and be as cold as ice with him.

hes twice your age, married, prob has kids too. do NOT be the other woman. imagine if you were married to a man for 20 or 30 years and he stabbed you in the back like this as if you are NOTHING. its sick and twisted and you shouldnt play any part in it. tell him you do not want his gifts or his attention and to leave you alone. you should have done that ages ago!

and what about your bf? you obviously dont have much respect for him if you have not told this man to get lost by now.

dont throw your life away. he just wants to use you for sex but in the end will f**k you up

Thank you for your reply. Yes I know...I think the only way to stop this is to act like you suggested.

I have to say I did act cold before but then he came up with more excuses to be around.. I cant really speak to him about this since I would probably look stupid.. he is making it look like he is clear and just friendly or has reasons to pop in, he doesn't really say that he comes for me..he probably thinks I cant see that he is kind of stalking me.

At this point I wish I would just tell him that I know he isn't coming just for whatever reason and to stop it since it only gets me down and confused..this game he plays got me into a big mess already and I want it to stop..couple of times I thought it s in my head all he does but my colleagues started to notice his visits whenever I am there..so yeah it s hard to just talk to him and tell him how this makes me feel..

And my boyfriend knows about this and he said maybe I should talk to this guy and clear things up but it s just not that easy since he is pretending to just pop in