Controlling Bf

[Cactus21]

I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. He is almost in his thirties and I am only in my early twenties. As I have learned age does make a significant difference. He is at the point in his life where he knows what he wants. He finished school, has a stable career whereas I am still struggling to discover myself and always wanting to explore. He is too attached to me and often prevents me from doing the things I want to do, and often succeeds by playing the guilt trip on me that me leaving for school or for any other reason would be 'unreasonable and abadoning him'. He says that I am selfish and impossible to please since I always have plans to sabotage our relationship (which is never really my intention). I'm not sure whether I am the unreasonable one here or whether he is. In my eyes he is controlling.

Here is a list of a few things I wanted to do in the past but never could because of him:
-Study abroad for one session (Spain, since I am studying Spanish)
-Have guy friends
-Go on a trekking adventure for several months
-Go to grad school once I finish my Bac (because he is military he may not be posted near the schools I want to attend)

I don't know if I should change my ambitions in order to suit our relationship.
He expects me to give up all of my plans that seperates us and simply stay at home.

[HeartIsAching]

Don't walk - run.

He's exhibiting all kinds of abusive behaviors. Do NOT give up dreams for this guy. Break it off and have a nice life. Seriously.

[MerryH]

Agreed. He doesn't care about what you want and what's best for you, he only cares that you're there for him no matter what.

[GK001]

Yeah run girl run. Many older man does have that tendency if the age gap is too big. you dont want him controlling you turning violent. In MANY instances its the controlling man who gets violent later on when shit hits the fan.
if he cant even respect a single goal in your life and work around it then he doesn't deserve respect from you. Love is a two way thing.

[ptaylor]

I agree RUN, RUN , RUN he is controlling you. He is insecure about himeslf and takes it out on you. You have to do the things in life you want and he should be there to support you, if he truly loved you?/

[Ananke]

Yes.! He's the unreasonable not you. So do the things you think is right, so you don't have any regrets in your life.
And maybe the reason why he's like that because he loves you so much but that kind of love is more on possessiveness.