I've been seeing this guy for a few months now... talking with him is easy, we're both very happy when we're together, he tries to make time (and I do too) so that we can see each other, and we've confessed that we do love each other. We get along emotionally, intellectually, and like one another physically as well... Whenever I'm with him, I feel like a better person.... I feel like I can do anything, and I've noticed that I have been motivated to improve my life in many ways.
I've tried my best to not put any pressure on him. No talks about futures together (other than when we'll meet again), or making any real demands of him. I feel that it is way too early in the relationship to be thinking about such things, and I'd rather give us both time to learn for ourselves if this is something we'd really want.
The other day I talked with him, and I'm not sure how the conversation led to this, but at some point we were talking about the future... He said that he's grown to love, respect, adore, and crave me... how he feels is incredible, and what we have is incredible, but he feels his life is in shambles, that he doesn't know what the future may bring and that it scares him.... that he doesn't trust life anymore. After a brief talk about this, he said that ultimately he doesn't feel worthy of any of what we have.
He mentioned being in financial ruin... his financial state really isn't that bad (and the damage that is there can be repaired) and, I'm not looking for a wealthy man anyway. He mentioned that his appearance leaves much to be desired... he is starting to gray and lose some of his youthful appearance, but I'm not bothered and find it all the more attractive personally. Yet he still wants to be with me, but he's so uncertain of so much...
He is a good man, very sweet disposition and from what I've learned... life has been cruel to him at times and I feel that he may fear that this will all go away somehow.
I responded to all of this by reminding him of the good attributes I've found in him, and told him that the future is uncertain for me as well and that I really haven't given much thought to it... He seemed to relax after this and we made plans to meet up again.
I'm not sure how to go about this... I can't help but to feel that he really isn't looking for freedom per se, and when we are together, I sense that he wants to be closer as he takes more interest in me... and how my life is progressing. He is so positive when we talk about my hopes and dreams... yet he doesn't seem to offer the same positive outlook about his own life.
What's really going on here? Is he insecure? Low self-esteem? or does he ultimately want his freedom?
If it's insecurities... how can I help?
I care very much for him and if that means letting him go... then as much as it would hurt, I don't want to stand in his way....