There was no sparks for me, but I learned to love her
Not a great start
I am aiming for a long term one
,
aiming? if you are IN love with someone, you shouldnt aim for it to be long term, it should just be the given.
when I spend time with her, I always feel that I am expecting more.
but most of the time it leaves me empty.
They are not normal things said by someone in love- especially after only 6 months
it is a long distance relationship now
.
Then i dont see how things can improve, there was enough distance between you two to start with, now there is physical distance too.
I do not know how to make myself to be satisfied and feel free with what I have
You shouldnt have to make yourself feel satisfied with what you have, you are clearly not and you cant force yourself. you cant force yourself to love somebody just because you feel you have to for whatever reason..(maybe because she was 'straight' before she got involved with you?)
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.