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Thread: Love her, but she is too quiet...

  1. #1
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    Love her, but she is too quiet...

    Hi,
    this is the first time I use this website. After some consideration decided to join to ask for some advice. My girlfriend and I (also female) have been together for 6 months now. She was straight and fell in love with me. There was no sparks for me, but I learned to love her, she got into my heart in a very different way than expected. We are so different, but her love and commitment towards me have made us to work through our relationship bit by bit. It is my first relationship and I am aiming for a long term one. I love her to bits now and learned to have patience with her. We had language problems (still exist), but it is overall going very well now. My problem is, when I spend time with her, I always feel that I am expecting more. I am in love with her, and sometimes just being with her is enough, however she is quiet by nature (although very party outgoing). I always look forward to see her and talk to her, but most of the time it leaves me empty. I feel that I am not talking freely as I would do with friends. I feel like that I am the one who talks most of the time, and I wasn't a talkative person by nature, but I like to have conversation and have long chats. On top of that, it is a long distance relationship now. We have dreams to live together and marry one day. How should I say, i love her personality and she is always there for me. But I miss some passionate talking, romance (it s not in her blood either). Even on the phone...she just like to know that I am there. I have talked about this with her, and I do want to spend time with her on the phone and such. I know I should accept the way she is, but I need to fulfil my need for a passionate and connected conversation with laughter. I do not know how to make myself to be satisfied and feel free with what I have.
    thank you for giving any opinions...

  2. #2
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    Hmmmm I was in a relationship like this for 5 years. I felt the same as you - I love, but missed the intimate, lengthy conversations that I had previously experienced in relationships. I was fairly happy for most of the relationship, but always felt there was something 'missing'. We eventually ended things and I've since realized that there are many many more guys who love to talk as much as I do. Though I loved my ex for who he was, he wasn't able to provide the connection I craved. It's no-ones fault, it's a question of compatibility.

  3. #3
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    I agree, sometimes it's just not meant to be, even though you love each other, and long distance relationships are hard enough with out having communication troubles to boot.

  4. #4
    qwertz's Avatar
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    There was no sparks for me, but I learned to love her
    Not a great start

    I am aiming for a long term one
    ,
    aiming? if you are IN love with someone, you shouldnt aim for it to be long term, it should just be the given.

    when I spend time with her, I always feel that I am expecting more.
    but most of the time it leaves me empty.
    They are not normal things said by someone in love- especially after only 6 months

    it is a long distance relationship now
    .
    Then i dont see how things can improve, there was enough distance between you two to start with, now there is physical distance too.

    I do not know how to make myself to be satisfied and feel free with what I have
    You shouldnt have to make yourself feel satisfied with what you have, you are clearly not and you cant force yourself. you cant force yourself to love somebody just because you feel you have to for whatever reason..(maybe because she was 'straight' before she got involved with you?)
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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