Just Broke up with my GF, What did I do wrong?

[jamesg1701]

My GF just broke up with me.
She has been away (France and Portugal) studying since September last year. She has come back to visit 4 times and I went to visit her once in Paris.

Since shes been away the relationship really intensified, before that we were really just f*** buddies who really got on.

She came to visit last month and I told her I loved her and she said it back.
After that we parted again and she went to Portugal to study until June. We spoke everyday on the phone and everything was great, I really started to miss her so I went to see her for a short 4 day visit in Portugal.
However, once there it all felt rather strained, conversation wasn't flowing (although I attributed that to the fact we spoke daily on the phone for hours) and the visit was pretty messy.
Monday I spoke to her and pretty much out of the blue she says she needs a break, then she calls me today and says she just wants to be friends, that we dont have much in common and that she doesn't love me anymore!

We speak for 4 hours, trying the get her to change her mind to no avail.
I know my visit to Portugal wasn't great but I cant believe she has fallen out of love with me over it!
What have I done wrong! She kept on saying how she really wants to be friends. Does she really mean that?
It hurts like hell, I dont know what to do

[The_bobb]

...and the visit was pretty messy...

What the hell does that even mean?


My guess she found someone else to fill her *ahem* time slot? It's cool don't beat yourself up over it. This sorta thing happens a lot. You probably didn't do anything wrong. She just found out that being single and in another country is a great way to get some tail.

Go get drunk. Move on.

Seriously tho, what does a messy visit mean?

[jamesg1701]

Seriously tho, what does a messy visit mean?

Just that it didn't go to plan I think she expected too much from my visit.

I am really hurt and feel completely lost. She seemed sincere when she said she wants to be friends. Thing is I do enjoy her company, shes a fun girl and being friends doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Wise move?

More the the point, she will be back from her studies in June, and although she said she would go out for a drink as friends once back I'm thinking her feelings may have changed by then and I can get her back.

[purple]

I've studied abroad and while I can't compare my experience to your gf's, I can only tell you that the one year I went abroad completely changed my perspective on things- I went through periods of culture shock and adjustment- missing my family and friends back home while making new friends and adapting to a new environment with different customs.

I bet your gf is just trying to adjust. She's calling Portugal home for a temporary period of time, and having difficulty adjusting to a new way of living while also trying to maintain a long distance relationship with you. I don't think you did anything wrong, I just think the distance is taking its toll on her.

If she means that much to you, stay friends and give her space.

=P

[meko]

It's hard to be friends with someone you love or loved. It's going to just drag out the pain having a constant reminder of what you're missing.
Spend some time without contact and if you think you no longer have feelings for her then theres a chance to be friends again.

[jamesg1701]

I guess what I really want to know is, once a girl feels that she has fallen out of love with you, can she ever get those feelings back as in fall back in love with you?