Why are girls good at...

[Arcanide]

...Dating pompous assholes and guys that will treat them bad? Do women like being abused and dating the wrong people?

[starbuck]

For the same reasons that some guys date girls who treat them badly.

[Henry123]

For the same reasons that some guys date girls who treat them badly.

I dont think so.
Guys date girls because of their looks. Guys tend to predominantly visualizers. Her personality tend to comes last with alot of guys (sad but true).

Girls tend to be auditory & kinesthetic oriented.
Certain guys manipulate girls by telling her what she wants to hear & feel. Girls date jerks believing they are more adventurist, "fun" and believe they can be changed.
A macho alpha type of guy even though a jerk tend to attract alot of women.

Girls are more forgiving on how a guy looks as long as he can make her emotionaly feel good. Guys are less forgiving when it comes to looks on a girl.



(all sad but very true)

[starbuck]

I dont think so.
Guys date girls because of their looks. Guys tend to predominantly visualizers. Her personality tend to comes last with alot of guys (sad but true).

Girls tend to be auditory & kinesthetic oriented.
Certain guys manipulate girls by telling her what she wants to hear & feel. Girls date jerks believing they are more adventurist, "fun" and believe they can be changed.
A macho alpha type of guy even though a jerk tend to attract alot of women.

Girls are more forgiving on how a guy looks as long as he can make her emotionaly feel good. Guys are less forgiving when it comes to looks on a girl.

I disagree. Some girls date on looks as well. And from what I see, most of these asshole types are good looking charmers.

This thread is going to easily turn into alot of generalizing. I almost felt like it was troll bait.

[Gribble]

Because the nice guys are all a bunch of emotionally manipulative pricks. Women date the lesser of two evils.

[TheGreek]

Because the nice guys are all a bunch of emotionally manipulative pricks. Women date the lesser of two evils.

Really? I consider myself a nice guy. And it sucks because I always get stuck in the friend zone. But I wouldn't consider myself an "emotionally manipulative prick."

[ecojeanne]

Because the nice guys are all a bunch of emotionally manipulative pricks. Women date the lesser of two evils.

omg! totally agree. the ones who consider themselves the 'nice guy'. have huge unrealistic expectations and huge levels of insecurities that they take out on women in general for all their problems. at least the bad guys are honest. i avoided men until now, coz at least now i know what i want and i won't take any shit from them. quiet guys can be scary when you get to know them sometimes.

[GrkScorp]

Do women like being abused and dating the wrong people?

No..

Dating pompous assholes and guys that will treat them bad?

Attraction circuitry..

A man has the ability to survive on his own.. Testosterone gives him the ability to be stronger.., and think in a way that gives logic priority over emotion..

Both genders are motivated to meet.., to create a child.. It's a biological need.. To pass on those winner genes..

A man's attraction circuitry is built to look for a partner that can bear many children.., and can raise those children.. Once upon a time.., that meant relatively fat women.., because resources were scarce and women who had more fat were able to feed the children for much longer than women without excess fat reserves.. Though fat is burned evenly throughout the body.., the male brain used the breasts as a proxy for body fat.. The shape of the butt and legs indicated physical condition and health.., the ability to run away from danger if need be.. The hip-to-waist ratio and youthful condition of skin and hair quality indicated fertility and how many children could pop out of her..

It hasn't changed much.. Today.., resources aren't really as "scarce".. It won't be days until you eat.., but maybe just a couple of hours.. Excess body fat.., a once attractive trait.., is now very unattractive.. It shows lack of ambition.., energy.., motivation.., and general overall laziness.. It also holds more negative health risks.. So the cost benefit analysis leans towards a much thinner female frame.. All of this is probably stuff you've never actually sat down and thought about.., but your unconscious mind has already hard-wired it into how you feel "attraction" for someone..

A woman's attraction circuitry is completely different.. It's built with "survival".., not "procreation" in mind.. While a man can fertilize multiple females.., a woman can only produce a child with one man at a time.. Therefore a woman is looking for a partner that can ensure her own survival.., and that of their children.. This means.., a man who can fight away danger and protect her.., who is able to provide for both her own survival and that of their children.., and one who is able to bestow upon her and their children.., social class/ranking value that will translate to social power.., and ultimately more resources and higher mating success in the future.. Once upon a time.., this was captured entirely by "physical strength".., which was the result of very high testosterone level within the normal range.. Taller.., more muscle mass.., built and powerful chest.., shoulders.., arms.., legs.., abs.., butt.., square jaw.., deeper voice.. Besides strength.., there was one more variable that correlated with survival.., "status" (social class/ranking).. A man with a larger social network was more attractive than one with a smaller.., erm.., network.. A man who was of a higher social class or ranking was more attractive than a man of a lower social class or ranking.. "status" is one of the most primitive attraction triggers for women.. Your unconscious mind is a statistician.. It doesn't take long to find a correlation between strength.., status & survival.., which males increase the likelihood of survivability.., and which ones don't..

Today.., it's still pretty much the same.., with a $light difference.. It didn't take long until individuals realized there are gains to trade and specialization.., that each could enjoy more resources and time if they would work together.. And it didn't take long for society to find the need to store the intrinsic value of the product of someone's labor.., and make a means of exchange for anyone to convert their benefit to society (goods/services) and purchase other goods and services.. They called this.., "money" (definition: a man's make-up).. And to a gender who's attraction circuitry is hard-wired around survival.., the introduction of a wealth variable acted as a promising proxy for survivability.. This makes most women feel bad and you get a lot of creative denial rhetoric.., but absent the guilt associated with feeling or being labeled a "gold-digger".., if you are able to talk to a female friend quite honestly.., and she feels comfortable enough that you're not going to judge her.., she'll tell you that money makes a man more attractive.. It's not like she creams on her pants when she walks into a bank.. The actual money itself isn't what's attractive.., but what it represents.. A man with power.., power that can increase the likelihood of survival for her and their children..

So? Is love bullsh*t? Is this what people are really thinking and just using love as an excuse to legitimately enjoy all of this?

No.. Love is real.., it has a very important purpose.., and just because some people lie about being in love with someone so that they can enjoy the pleasures their attraction circuitry longs for.., doesn't mean that it's all a lie.. It's very very real.., but you'll only realize that on your own when you feel it for yourself..

Marriage on the other hand.., is a different story.. It's possible for two people to love each other and not be married.. What's the point of marriage? It's easy to simply say.. "if you love someone.., then you'll marry them".. But why? Besides "because they want to get married and you want to make them happy".. That just brings you back to "if you love someone.., then you'll want to make them happy".. But marriage is one of those social institutions.., ironically created by men.., with much effort to try and legitimize it both legally and morally.., to ensure their daughters were taken care of.. Make no mistake about it.., a man has nothing to gain from marriage.., and half to lose.. It's a social institution designed and legitimized by men.., for women.. Don't blame women for trying their best to defend something that benefits them.., go back and piss on the grave of your fellow buddies.., if you can find them..

Love however.., really is romantic.. After attraction.., and prior to sex.., is this deep almost magical phase where you get to explore the other person completely.., at least emotionally.. It's not rational.., not logical.., but purely emotional.. You can call it chemistry.., but what it really is.., is the fluid communication and understanding between two people.., it forms a strong connection and emotional bond between the two as they realize they are compatible to mate with each other (translation: produce offspring together).. Humans are shockingly similar to Emperor penguins in the way they take part in pair bonding.. (Purchase a copy of: [ame="http://www.amazon.com/March-Penguins-Widescreen-Charles-Berling/dp/B000BI5KV0"]Amazon.com: March of the Penguins (Widescreen Edition): Charles Berling, Romane Bohringer, Jules Sitruk, Morgan Freeman, Ryunosuke Kamiki, Fiorello, Sofie Gråbøl, Hikari Ishida, Takao Osawa, Gösta Ekman (II), Luc Jacquet: Movies & TV[/ame] to see why it's so important)

Maybe you've been conditioned to think of sex as "cool" or "casual".., or maybe "bad" or "dirty" or "not right".. But it's none of the above.. It's a statement you're both making to each other.., that you have fully accepted each other.., and are ready to bring a child into this world.. That's obviously not exactly what you scream in bed.. "oh baby! I just want to bring a child into this world with you".. But that's what sex is.., just by isolating and looking at its form and function.., without consideration given to cultural or social programming..

That brings you full circle..

1. Attraction
2. Connection
3. Sexual intimacy

Connection can take place without attraction.. It's called friendship.. But in order for a romantic connection to happen.., there needs to be attraction first.. When you have both attraction and connection.., things will naturally gravitate towards sexual intimacy..

[GrkScorp]

So the question is.., why do you see so many women dating pompous assholes and guys who will treat them badly? May I first just say.., fcuk you.., that's a loaded question.. And secondly.., let's disect the quest..

On the part of women (because men are actually at fault too)..

1. Why are women attracted to men who will treat them badly?

Well.., let's first consider what it's like to be a very attractive women.. The whole world is grim.. You obviously have more to you than just your looks.., but other women are spiteful and jealous.., and you get showered with male attention constantly.. If you don't believe this.., make a facebook profile and put a candid picture of a model as the profile pic.. Tune up your privacy settings to the max.., and just start counting how many guys start messaging/friend requesting/poking you..

Which brings me to my next point.., take a look at all of these guys.., and what they say.. They're all losers.. Pretend you're this girl for a second.. Notice how deeply unattractive they are.., notice how you're almost disgusted.., repelled.. They all make you want to barf.. I'm around my friend Carla sometimes when she logs onto her facebook.., these guys make you feel ashamed to be a guy.. Most of them just want to fcuk her.., but I can spot out the ones that have a genuine curiosity and interest for her.. She still won't give them the light of day.. "delete".., faster than you can say "wait! that was a nice guy!"

From her point of view.., every guy wants to get into her pants.. It's flattering when she's still in high school.., it builds up her self esteem.., but after a point it gets annoying and boring.. From her point of view.., every guy who talks to her.., expresses his interest in her.., just wants sex.. That's the view she has of all men.. And some of them are cute.., most of them are not.., but none of them really "move" her.. She doesn't really feel "attracted" to any of them..

Here is what she is attracted to.. Are you ready for this? A "man".. Get your mother's advice out of your head for a second and try and understand what that means.. She's not looking for someone to kiss her ass and try and win her favor.. It's flattering.., she likes it.., loves it.., but she's not "attracted" to that kind of guy.. Connection without attraction is friendship.. Nice guys are nice.., but eventually.., a man walks into her life.., and she just fcukn' wants him badly.. Her body aches for him.. She wants him to want her.., and isn't sure if he does.., and it drives her nuts! Everyone else wants her.., why not him? What does she have to do for him to want to pin her down and have his way with her? It genuinely bothers her that he doesn't like her.., and it's now her mission to conquer him.. To her.., it's her little guilty pleasure.., being attracted to guys who aren't that interested in her.. She feels better about herself when she wins them over.. She feels validated.., whereas with the other guys.., she feels like she's desperate and settling for just someone..

Primal attraction takes over.. Tall.., built.., square jaw.., muscular.., strong.., powerful.., masculine.., his deep voice making her hot.., the way he smalls making her excited.., his lack of interest in her making her wet.. She's not concerned with connection right now.., she's all about attraction at this point.. She has c0ck-blinders on.. All she knows is that she wants him.., and is trying to think of ways to get him.. If it's just an act on his part.., she loses interest.., but if he's really not that in to her.., and she slowly wins him over.., she just wants to fcuk and ride that phallic prize she just won the moment they go back to her place..

Side note: This is also where the "hard-to-get" mentality comes from.. From thinking the opposite sex thinks the same way.. (more on that later)..

Initially.., for her to feel that strong mind-numbing attraction.., she wants a man.., masculine.., strong.., powerful.., sexual.. She doesn't want a little boy.., a nice guy who's sweet and wants to be friends.., take care of her and consider her feelings.., who's going to love her and treat her well.. No.. Doesn't really do much.. It doesn't mean she wants an asshole! It just means that she's not "attracted" to the nice guy she uncontrollably perceives as "weak/wimp/loser/unattractive/boy/yuck/barf"..

She wants a man who can accept the fact that she's not a little girl anymore.., that she just wants to get fcuked.., yes.., his penis.., in her vagina.. She wants someone who can understand that.. A guy who is comfortable enough with his sexuality.. Because she doesn't want to have to initiate! She wants to be dominated.., overpowered.., put up some resistance so she doesn't feel like a slut or whore.., but eventually surrender to this strong and powerful dominant masculine force.. If that force is as strong and powerful as a fly's fart.., holding flowers and chocolates.., taking her to dinner and then to go see her favorite movie followed by some other romantic activity in an awkward attempt to convert their pseudo-friendship into a relationship.., it's going to fail miserably.. Because there's no attraction!

Her fault stops there.. Really.. You can't blame someone for acting on attraction.. It's a bit outdated.., but she's doing something as normal as breathing.. Acting on her emotions..

The rest.., believe it or not.., is actually the fault of men..

Yes.., it's easy to say that women are stupid and should know the difference between.. Just shut up and stop right there.. I'm going to tell you.., that you should know the difference between a little spoiled manipulative b*tch and an honest sweetheart.. I'm also going to tell you that you most likely do.. It's just that you're attracted to the little spoiled manipulative b*tch.. Your attraction is not a consequence of her being a b*tch.., rather.., Her being that way is a consequence of your attraction to her.., you and the rest of the 300.. Why are you filled with irrational hope of her being this angel? Why do you chase after the dream of her being this amazing person? Because you can still deny it to yourself.. That's why.. There's still uncertainty.., and therefore.., still hope.. It brings you pleasure to explore the dream and possibility of being in a relationship with someone so attractive and gorgeous who you might actually grow to love.. On the other hand.., when you look at someone fat or ugly.., immediately.., you can't deny to yourself that you could never love someone like that..

When you look at gorgeously hot women.., exhibiting very negative behavior that reveals very unattractive characteristics and personality traits.., and when you see them doing this in a clear and obvious manner.., why does your fantasy all of a sudden get shattered? It falls apart.., it can't hold.. You can't tell yourself.., "she's probably this amazing person".. No she's not! You just saw that she's a b*tch! If only b*tches had low self-control.. They don't.. They're very two-faced and manipulative.., that's why they're b*tches.. So you might enjoy biting into the cheese.., but overlook the mouse trap..

Luckily for you.., as a man.., you're not governed by emotions.. In fact.., if you're anything like most men.., you believe they're bullsh*t and aren't even real.. You feel that they're exclusive to women.. And perhaps you feel that way because your adrenal glands don't go haywire when something happens.., so you don't feel emotions strongly enough..

That allows you to simply move on.. Your emotional attachment to things.., and people.., doesn't run too deep too fast.. One day you love her.., the next day you find out she's a b*tch.., the very next second.., you break up and you find someone else.. Logic takes priority over emotion.., and logic is very.., very cold and dispassionate..

Not the case with emotions.., and not the case with women.. "But I love him!".. Maybe she does.., but what she really means is.., "but I have a strong emotional attachment to him!" and "I'm so attracted to him that I can't even consider or think about what an asshole he is.., I'd rather just continue to live in my fantasy because it's a more pleasant reality to accept.., so I'll tell myself that I can change him and that he will change.., and then he'll be perfect.., and we can live happily ever after! Because I finally found a guy who doesn't treat me like the little girl that I am!"

This is normal.. It sounds crazy.., but for the emotional brain.., we all accept and seek comfort/pleasure.., and reject and stray from discomfort/pain..

Remember.., (men: logic takes priority).., if a little thing like logic isn't standing in the way of her telling herself what she wants to hear and then believing it as truth.. Then given the choice between actual reality and HER reality.., which one do you think will give her pleasure as opposed to pain? which one do you think she'll pick?

If you're interested in a more academic view of it.., notice rationally.., the short-run preference and lack of consideration for net benefit in the long-run! The rational process needs to be active to prefer the higher long-run net benefit.., but for as long as her emotional brain has taken over.., she's going to exhibit "hyperbolic discounting" (google it)..

[GrkScorp]

2. I still don't understand.., how is this exactly guys' fault again?

The problem with men is.., things are either black or white.. I know I used the world "problem".., even though this isn't always a bad thing.. Sure.., it doesn't leave room for excuses.., and it gets things done.. But it's not always good.. You'll see how this can be very problematic..

First off.., when you hear people giving you their opinion on their own gender.., take everything they say very lightly.. Remember the whole basic psychology behind seeking pleasure and straying away from pain? When you are getting either the solicited or unsolicited opinion of a gender that's governed by their emotional brain.., you can expect to hear a lot of nonsense.. A lot of divine moral good positive qualities and views.., and denial of anything negative.. That's natural.. But that's also what you're subject to when you're growing up as a guy..

To add to the hear-say advice you take from any female friends.., is your mother.. An older woman.., who has been hurt by men in the past.., eventually settled for someone she's not entirely happy with.., but tells herself and swears to everyone else that she is.., is trying to mold this pure and untainted little boy into what she would want a man to be.. Fine..

So all you can really remember is something about how to not be "bad".., and to not be bad you have to be "good" and "nice" and treat women with "respect".. That's roughly pretty much it.. The problem with that kind of parenting for boys is that a mother is using emotional learning for a child that requires and is actually capable of rational learning.. In fact.., it constantly begs for it in the form of "why?".. As if it's telling you.., "don't just tell me to not be bad and be good.., tell me why! I need to understand why! I'm not a woman.., i'm a boy! I need to see how and why it makes sense! I need to determine that it's correct before I fully accept this information as truth! Or else it's ambiguous, vague and meaningless to me!"

It doesn't take long until you go through high school and then life.., hearing about girls getting hurt by insensitive guys.. You immediately assess the situation.. That guy must have been "bad".., he was an "asshole".. YOU don't want to be "an asshole" or "bad" do you? That's horrible! No! That's what you tell yourself.. You're not going to be that kind of guy! You're going to be a "nice" guy.., and care for her and treat women with "respect"..

Unbeknown to you.., you have unconsciously created and formed.., in your mind.. an "asshole/nice guy" dichotomy.. Where if one is true.., the other is false.. It's either black or white.. And since being the "nice guy" gives you pleasure.., it makes you feel good about yourself.. You strive to be the good.., moral.., respectful nice guy.., and associate anything relating to assholes as bad.., therefore not something you want to be..

Here is what the dichotomy looks like..

Asshole:



Nice Guy:



And then you wonder.., much like a fat ugly chick wonders.. "why isn't anyone attracted to me?".. The funny thing is.., I've seen some very good looking guys as themselves the same question.. For men.., just because you're good looking doesn't mean you're attractive.. Your looks aren't enough to spark that kind of attraction you feel when you see something like:



So what is someone like that looking for? No.., she's not looking for a high roller with an bottomless wallet and endless bank account.. That's a very narrow-minded view to have about all women.. You have to realize it's subjective.., the result of perhaps being used in the past.., but it doesn't apply across the board.. Learn to filter out the ones that are.., and the ones that aren't.. I've personally never been taken advantage of financially.. "yet".. I've been emotionally taken advantage of.., I can't say I've been sexually taken advantage of "raped".., but I've had to force myself to have sex when that's not what I naturally wanted to do.., plenty of times.. But those are all things you would willingly do for someone you love.., hence why they can be abused.., and you can easily be used..

That particular model might have the facial features of someone very b*tchy.., self-absorbed.., and the fact that she's a model might lead you to believe she might be full of herself.. But if you listen to Megan Fox on interviews.., she a very sweet girl..

In fact.., I'd say comfortably and conservatively.., that 40% of women are emotionally.., datable and relationship ready.. The rest either have some admitting to do to themselves and personal development and improvement so that they're ready to be in a healthy relationship.., and some of them.., are just hopeless.. Don't repeat the same mistakes others have made before you.., cough cough.., YOU are not going to change someone who's not emotionally datable or ready to be in a relationship yet.. Only SHE can change.., if she's willing to accept and admit what needs to change.., and is willing to improve it on her own..

But even so.., across the board.. From angels and sweethearts.., to crazy and psychotic.., to b*tchy and manipulative.., there's one thing that women understand.., that you don't.. The good news is.., that you "can" understand it.. If you're willing to see how wrong your "asshole/nice guy" dichotomy is (I'll show you).., and what they're looking for..

Neurobiology girl.., an adorable little German cutie pie who knew how to suck some mean c0ck like her life depended on it.., had this to say about what she really wants..

"A man.., I just want to look at him.., and feel a little intimidated.. By his strength and power.. Great body.., built and muscular.., it's not just a luxury.., it's really important.. chest.., arms.., abs and shoulders.. A nice butt.., deep sexy eyes.., like he's looking inside me and I can just feel that warm feeling my my chest.. I like tough and rough guys.., something very manly about it.. But for as long as that's just his shell.., with a sweet caramel inside I can just lick.."



Starting to look a little clearer? Are you starting to see the difference? That's it.. That's all it is.. You can still be a great guy.., without being loser-ish and unattractive.. You can still be attractive.., without being an asshole or jerk..

What she meant by that was.., pretty much exactly what she said.. (I know.., rare)..

Remember.., for the most part.., women are in tune with how they feel attraction.. They feel that the same applies to the "opposite" sex.. Add to that.., the social pressures creative a slut/whore complex.., and playing "hard-to-get" is very tempting..

For nice guys.., "respect" means not playing games and being honest.. And that's exactly what they are.. "You look cute.., you look like someone who has potential.., I'd like to take you out on a date and hope that I'm not wrong".. How is that perceived? It's flattering.., don't get me wrong.. And you'll hear a lot of girls say.., "I'd love to hear a guy walk up to me and say that".., but put that same girl in that same situation.., and one thing she won't feel is "attraction".. The nice guy's need for directness and honesty which he considers to be "respect" towards the girl he doesn't even know.., comes off the wrong way.. It comes off as desperate.., trying too hard.., begging.., interested in sex.., loser-ish.., and unattractive.. Throw a "hard-to-get" tactic at a nice guy.., and he'll do the most natural male thing.., "take it as is".., "I guess she's not that interested.., let me cut my emotional losses and just move on to someone else".., when in reality.., she was just secretly hoping you'd push a little bit more.., to feel a little good about herself.., and feel a sense of safety and security that you're interested in her.. So in effect.., nice guys get weeded out by the nature of her attraction circuitry and by her hard-to-get performance..

[GrkScorp]

Not all assholes are smart guys.. Sometimes.., they're just assholes.. Sexually attractive men.., that can either take a woman or leave her.. Their sexual options seem limitless.., there is no end to the numbers on their phone.., or to how many girls are interested in them.. For them.., women have no value.. When they're in the mood.., they're good for sex.. And if not her.., then someone else will do just fine.. There is no sense of guilt or shame related to having sex without an emotional connection to the person.. In fact.., they're completely able to have sex with someone purely out of attraction alone! That's why they're assholes.. It's not like it's their mission to hurt her feelings.., he doesn't even know what feelings are.., much less care for hers.. These men are completely unaffected by emotions.. She has no emotional control over him.., and no sexual control over him.., and unless he's looking for a sugar-mama.., she has no financial control over him.. He is totally unaffected.., but he's so manly and sexy.., and she wants him.., and it drives her nuts that she can't have him.. It then becomes a challenge to her of how to get him.. All other men in her life are constantly bugging her.., this guy doesn't even seem phased by her at all.. If she can win him over.., it'll be like a golden-star for her self esteem.. A validation reward.. She will feel like she's dating a winner.., she'll feel proud to date him.., and have sex with him.., she won't feel desperate.., he didn't come by easy.., she'll feel like a winner.. A very positive feeling that she will chase after until she gets it.. Assholes are split between how they respond to a hard-to-get performance..

Typical clueless guy: He won't even know what's going on.., won't be phased by her disinterest in him.., and will move along to someone else.. His only value for women is when he is in the mood to have sex.., your typical Neanderthal caveman brute.., if she's even a little bit more difficult or less willing than someone else.., then that someone else will get to have her way with him.. Very practical and male thing to do..

Desperate: Oh the irony! I love this.. Think about who would keep pushing.. While women are there thinking that only a guy who really cared enough about them and was that interested in them would keep pushing.., guys who are oblivious to her performance take it "as is".., give up and move on.. while guys who are aware of her performance find it disrespectful.., lose interest once they see the kind of girl she is.., and move on too.. Who's left? We know who it weeds out.., we know who she thinks it leaves sticking around.., who are these guys? Yup.. Desperate.. Either low self esteem or guys who no other woman would sleep with.. They're willing to do whatever it takes..

The emotionally intelligent male: Not all of them are "players".., although.., most are.. Personally.., I think it's tragic to see a gift like that wasted on competing between each other over who has more sex with hotter women.. Nevertheless.., these are the guys on top of the food chain.. They thrive on one key female vulnerability.., "the belief that women are more cleaver than men".. It definitely applies close to 90% of the time.., but even a 1 in 20 chance of it not holding.., means thousands of guys in a population of millions.. For as long as the girl feels she's one step ahead.., for as long as she feels she's completely aware and smarter than him.., that nobody is going to fool her.., he's game.. These guys are always 80 steps ahead.. It's a game.., and they love playing.. It's not even about the competition between other guys.., or about sex.. It's about the game itself.. The reason they're naturally 80 steps ahead.., is because they have the desire to understand and learn more about how things work.. The cross between their analytical/logical/rational male brain coupled with emotional intelligence.., makes the process more enjoyable than the outcome.. The hard-to-get performance is not just anticipated and expected.., it's see-through.. They sit there taking mental notes and admiring the techniques that different women use.. It's all a learning opportunity.. From strangers to sex.. They'll play along and put on a great show.., to make her feel good about herself.., like she's not easy.., like she's not a slut/whore.., like she's difficult and worth it.. That's all he needs to do.., and in her mind.., because she's also attracted to him.., she'll feel he's interested in her.., she'll still be insecure and unsure about it.., and will do anything to get a sense of certainty and security.. 80 steps ahead.., it's women who believe they're on to guys like this.., getting their ass handed to them.. Like throwing Michael Phelps into a pool of cripples for the special Olympics.., or challenging superman in a weightlifting competition.. Very few emotionally intelligent men are actually governed by a sense of what is right.. Morals is doing what is right.., even when you don't have the right incentive to do so.. Most are governed by incentives.., and don't feel any guilt or shame holding them back from doing something wrong.. Which makes these kids of guys very dangerous.., it's a good thing that emotionally intelligent men are a rare lot indeed..

But think about that comfortable medium.. The ideal kind of guy.., the one that doesn't really exist.. Because it's a fantasy.., unrealistic.. Like wanting a CEO supermodel hot wife who would be an amazing person.., fun.., happy all the time.., never short on money.., good spending habits.., responsible.., great sex.., and took care of the bills and kids so you can go sleep all day.. Possible? Sure.. Realistic? Not at all.. Psychologically can't exist or sustain themselves emotionally in the long-run..

"Respect".., it's the definition you've given to that one little word that makes the difference between being attractive.., or being that nice guy.. Between great sex.., or just sex..

Can I throw a girl up against the wall.., take her clothes off.., put a pillow over her mouth and tell her "shut the fcuk up b*tch".., fcuk her.., yet still "respect" her? Can I invite her over my place to have sex and still "respect" her? Can I hold her head down and make her suck my d*ck and still "respect" her? Can I treat her like a whore and still "respect" her?

Yes actually.., I can.. Because your sex life.., is not the only part of your relationship! You're "whole" relationship doesn't have to be this caring/tender/loving/romantic thing.. Nor does the "whole" relationship have to be this rough/tough/dominant/control/power type of thing.. On your surface.., and in the bedroom.. You are that hot sexy masculine strong powerful man.. That's who you really are.., and it doesn't make you an asshole.. Because behind what you are to the rest of the world.., with her.., you're that genuine and honest guy who is nice and caring and sweet and thoughtful and sensitive.., the guy who deeply and truly loves her and can show it to her..

The only question is if "she" is worth it..

Of the value you can give to your partner:

- Attraction/Physical/Sexual
- Emotional/Comfort/Love
- Financial/Stability/Security

Emotional/Comfort/Love is actually the most important.. If you eventually want to have children.., and you have found the person you truly love and want to start a family with.., then you're eventually going to get pressured into marriage.. There's no way it's going to survive on (Attraction/Physical/Sexual) or (Financial/Stability/Security).. After 7 years.., you're going to get bored.., cheating will seem tempting.., bargaining might seem like an acceptable means of conflict resolution between you and your partner.., and you'll want to indulge in your selfish pleasures.. The only thing preventing that from happening.., and holding your marriage together.., is finding someone you can have that powerful emotional connection to.., not lust.., but that pair bond we call love.. This is why "whore" (Attraction) and "gold-digger" (Financial) are such negative terms..

There are plenty of women who are one or the other.., or both.. Remember.., only 40% are datable.. Some women don't really know what they want yet.. Believe it or not.., women just want to get fcuked too.. They don't necessarily want love or a relationship.. Just because you do.., doesn't mean you should expect them to want the same thing.. (nice guy fallacy #2).. So if you see someone you know going for the asshole.., or if you see yourself being turned down as the nice guy.., it's either because of the nature of who the hard-to-get performance tends to weed out.., because the girl isn't looking for a relationship yet and just wants to have sex.., or because she won't ever be ready for a real relationship and will just always be looking to have just sex.. But it's NOT because women prefer assholes over nice guys..

[Lipp]

One of these days I will track down and copy each and every post by Grk, paste all of it into a book, sell it, make a few millions and retire to a condo in Goa.

[GrkScorp]

If you really want to spend the time and do that..

I'd hate to think about all those poor trees though..

[TheGreek]

Throw a "hard-to-get" tactic at a nice guy.., and he'll do the most natural male thing.., "take it as is".., "I guess she's not that interested.., let me cut my emotional losses and just move on to someone else".., when in reality.., she was just secretly hoping you'd push a little bit more.., to feel a little good about herself.., and feel a sense of safety and security that you're interested in her.. So in effect.., nice guys get weeded out by the nature of her attraction circuitry and by her hard-to-get performance..

What's the best way to tell if she's throwing a hard-to-get tactic? And what's the best of way of handling this? How do you chase her without seeming desperate?

[GrkScorp]

What's the best way to tell if she's throwing a hard-to-get tactic? And what's the best of way of handling this? How do you chase her without seeming desperate?

Are you asking out of curiousity or because you want to know "just in case" that is going on with the girl you're with now?

She's not being hard-to-get.. Don't try and fix something that's not broken..