Hurting and Confused - Please Help

[Farrier73]

Hello all. I am a 37 year old man who is the father of a beautiful 6 year old little girl. This may be lengthy but I want to include as much detail as possible.

Me the woman who I thought and still think is the love of my life. I met her at work (I no longer work there) and despite warnings from numerous coworkers, I began to date her. For the first time in my life I was experiencing love at first sight. But problems began after the first two months. She told me from the worg "go" that no one would come before her son. How true that was. After 2 and a half years her son still "rules the roost," is rude to her and at 9 years old acts like a 3 year old. My daughter at 6 has better manners, is disciplined and more respectful that her son will ever be. Needless to say he is a problem.

That being said, here is another important detail. Her sons father is not my girlfriends ex husband. She had an affair and was pregnant at her wedding. She claims she didnt know. However, I believe otherwise. His father is a deadbeat. He is unemployed, runs an illegal gambling hall and doesnt want his son around any of my girlfriends significant others.

Trying to be brief. I have gotten upset with her numerous times. Very upset. We broke up for three months and she came back to me with a "clean Slate." But the same issues were still there. I got mad again and now she says it is over. Let me add one very important point - I just had to give up my daughter to her mother who moved to Virginia. A battle over that issue has been going on since December of 2010. My gf was never compasionate or understanding about it. I woman who still sleeps with her 9 year old.

So - I am in a pickle. She is mad at me for bad mouthing her and her son. A fact that I completely understand. She claims she has nothing left in her heart. I love this woman but after being married for ten years (now divorced - obviouslt) I believe a relationship should involve compassion, understanding and compromise. Things that I feel I have never gotten from her.

I love this women. When we are together without her son life is wonderful. When her son and his father enter the picture life is horrific.

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Thanks!!

[HeartIsAching]

You love abuse, neglect and lack of empathy? Why?

That's something I think you should address with therapy. Other than that, be glad she's gone.

Seriously.

[Wakeup]

I have to agree:

but after being married for ten years (now divorced - obviouslt) I believe a relationship should involve compassion, understanding and compromise. Things that I feel I have never gotten from her.

If you believe that a relationship should involve compassion, understanding and compromise, but you've never gotten those things from her then the logical question YOU NEED TO ANSWER FOR YOURSELF IS: Why are you still with her or why are you even still thinking about her? What's missing in you that you didn't just pick up and leave her and her dysfunctional relationship with her son?

(poor kid ruined by her lack of parental skills and ability to reason)

I love this women. When we are together without her son life is wonderful.

I hardly think it is "wonderful" if there is no compassion, understanding or compromise. Perhaps you're addicted to the sex?