OMG Bring Her Back

[ChristianonLI]

Someone, anyone, fix what happened. I can't do it anymore. My life needs to return to what it once was. My wife, now no longer and never was my wife (thanks to annulment) is GONE. FOREVER. Never replies to emails. I won't even dare text, call or show up at her job/home.

There IS a way to get her back. Someone out there knows the magical solution and I must know what it is. I'll pay any amount so long as it is guaranteed to turn back time and make my wife love me once more.

Anyone, help. I have no reason to live if she doesn't come back. I need a miracle from God and he has not yet answered any of my prayers. Am I praying to the wrong divine force?

[Petit Papillon]

There is no magic stick that will make it all come back to what it was. If You really have hard times to let it go I propose You to get some help , like psychotherapy... I know it's hard but you have to get used to the fact that it's over... You can't force somebody to love, this is life,life is brutal. I'm sorry ...

[Gigabitch]

I told you, Christian. You need to let this go. This woman was NOT right for you. You weren't married long enough to have your life completely fall apart like this. Pull it together, man.

[QueenofCorona]

Its like a death almost. As much as you don't want to believe its true the best thing you can do for yourself is mourn the loss and build yourself back up again and LIVE.

[Roymax]

Someone, anyone, fix what happened. I can't do it anymore. My life needs to return to what it once was. My wife, now no longer and never was my wife (thanks to annulment) is GONE. FOREVER. Never replies to emails. I won't even dare text, call or show up at her job/home.

There IS a way to get her back. Someone out there knows the magical solution and I must know what it is. I'll pay any amount so long as it is guaranteed to turn back time and make my wife love me once more.

Anyone, help. I have no reason to live if she doesn't come back. I need a miracle from God and he has not yet answered any of my prayers. Am I praying to the wrong divine force?

I know how you feel. I use think that way once. I would research ways of ending my life because I couldn't bear the pain anymore hoping for a better world to live in. I've gone as far as pursuing an interest in time travel research thinking just may be if I have some hope after all. I was really desperate to try and make things right but in the end that fantasy never became reality. Some people thought I was crazy. Sometimes you never know where your life will end up. There is no guarantee in any relationship and you can't force anyone to change. The answer comes from within yourself. You feel hurt now but it doesn't have to stay with you forever. Right now you need some good friends and family who listen to you. Heck, I'll even be your friend.

[TAVS]

I'll take it on Gigabitch's word that this is a real poster and not someone who think's their funny.

Seriously, get ahold of yourself and seek a good therapist. Heartbreak is hard, but you're being absolutely insane. If she doesnt want to be with you, then she doesnt want to be with you. You need to understand that, and start the healing process.

[Roymax]

Its like a death almost. As much as you don't want to believe its true the best thing you can do for yourself is mourn the loss and build yourself back up again and LIVE.

Yep, the woman I loved for 8 years died long ago.

[SamFrmMelbourne]

ChristianonLI, your situation is saddening, not because you lost your ex-wife (nothing can be done about it and grieving doesn't help), but because you're unable to accept the truth and start the healing process. Pull yourself together, please, for your own good. I know it's painful but this is just one part of your life. There is so much more in life than your ex-wife so don't let her take away everything from your life!

I believe we all broken-hearted guys have gone through what you're going through. To me, the feeling was most intense in the first two weeks. All I could do was cry (and I've only cried for two girls in 25 years of my life). Being underemployed didn't help because I had a lot of free time, which intensified my emptiness. I didn't eat, sleep, my eyes were filled with empty stare.

But like others, I'm recovering now. We see you as a fellow fallen comrade in the battlefield of love, so let's walk side-by-side to the road of recovery. Others have survived, so will you!

Like you, I believe in God, too. If God let this terrible event happened, then it happened for a good purpose. He knows what's best for us. Have faith.

[Lite]

Man, I so want to be mean and tell you to grow a damn spine but...

Look, when you divorce it really is like a death in the family. It's a very traumatic event for pretty much anyone who goes through it. It isn't easy, it isn't always amicable, and you don't always have a choice in whether or not someone will love you and want to be with you.

You're floundering in a well of emotions that are about to drown you. Please go talk to a counselor about this, talk to a dr perhaps get some medication. It does get better, but you do need professional help and there is absolutely no shame in doing this. Between my divorce and another relationship ending very badly I was seriously contemplating hurting myself a few years back. And, that's frankly a stupid thing to ever do.

Please get professional help. You're not alone, you're not unique in what you're feeling, and there is help available. It's worth your time and money and effort to move past this and find someone who is willing to share your life with you as a partner willingly. There is absolutely nothing you can do to get her back if she doesn't want to get back together with you.

Please get help.

[cmacattack1]

Eh, I don't think a break up/divorce is like a death in the family at all. With a death in the family, it's not like there was anything you can do but you have plenty of time to grieve and move on.

With a serious break up/ divorce, the other person is still alive, still around, but you are unable to talk to them and unable to do anything about it. That's what really eats you up inside. And the pressure's on to find happiness before the other person, to spite them, to compete against them in a way to make the other person think what they did was a mistake.

[Gigabitch]

I think what dies is the whole future you had in front of you with that person. Getting divorced was really traumatic for me and I even wanted it, was totally done with the relationship and still, it was awful. I can only imagine how Christian feels.

Christian, don't ever lean on someone this hard again. It's not wise.

[ChristianonLI]

Think about it for a second:

If I had made absolutely no mistakes, if I had done absolutely everything right she would still be here. She would still be my wife and she would never have become unhappy. The fact she is gone only means I failed as a husband. How could I possibly live with that? How could I live the rest of my life knowing what could have been but now will never be? Even if I do manage to one day find someone else, they will never be "better" or "more right" for me than this woman who is gone. They will just be "another".

This woman I married was my first real love. Before her I had no inclination to get into a relationship apart from the single-minded goal of getting laid. With her I found something more. I found true purpose in life. And now that purpose is gone. And if by the grace of God I get lucky a second time and find someone else and get married again, how will I ever be sure this woman is "the one" or if she's just a replacement? As far as I'm concerned this woman who left me was the one and only woman I ever wanted and ever will want. To ever want another only means I never cared in the first place.

I failed as a husband. I didn't give her enough love, attention or appreciation for her being there. We got married and I figured "awesome, we're married, now I can let down my hair a little" and within three months she left because I got too comfortable, too lazy, too complacent. We got married in July and were talking about making kids and just 90 days later she was packing her bags and telling me she was NEVER going to have children with me.

So, either she's royally f***ed in the head or I am a horrible, horrible person who is incapable of nurturing women or a loving relationship. Either way, the fact remains: I'm single, she's gone and she's happy to be without me. She may already be dating again, I don't really know, but so long as she's happy to be without me I feel it is absolutely essential that I either get her to fall in love with me again or I see to it she spends the rest of her life as miserable as I feel right now.

[1337lizard]

dude, stop being so dramatic. Let me put this in perspective for you. There are over 300 million people in the U.S. alone. That means roughly 150,000,000 women. And you think you'll never feel love again?

Each time you love it will be different, but it will all be wonderful. Don't think that this girl was your one and only, because she just gave you options.

[lovedocter]

Ok i'll stop you there if you on here asking for help then you already a good guy!! It's not the end of the world (i know it feeels that way) but come on you've got a new life you can do the things you want to do without anybody to worry about. this is not just a bad thing you do need to think about this from out side of the box not just the pain. you need to be happy too!!! and you can be you just need to occupie your self. get rich, find a new girl go and play golf, alot of people get rich because thay sat down and "occupied" them selfs you could be one of them. all i'm trying to say is that there s no point of beating you self up, you can be happy just do what you want to do...

[Gigabitch]

What I see you doing, Christian, is wallowing in it because missing her is the closest you can get to her right now. This is extremely unhealthy, and you're going to go off the deep end if you don't get a handle on it.

Do you have family that could help you? A brother, maybe?