We've lost that Loving Feeling

[MrsLovin]

Ok before i start let me state one thing that might be relevant. I am currently 5 months pregnant, and yeah i know im a hormonal MoFo right now but still i dont think im being entirely unreasonable here.

I just want to strangle the life out of my husband every single goddam day. there isnt a single day that passes he doesnt do something entirely stupid to annoy me. We've only been married for what like 7 months maybe, ok we were together long before that and so the honeymoon stage of being newly weds never really kicked in.
Its been BS from the start we had like 2 months of pure happiness in the very beginning of our r'ship before he did something kind of dumb and ended up owing like 25 grand. Thats when things went own hill as i decided to help him out and we got into debt and all this stuff which is over now, we're ok but were hardly living the high life.
But even back then it wasnt all stress he used to be considerate kind caring sweet thoughtful. He just changed so much. I used to be able to open up to him and if i was down he'd pick me up. Now if im down he makes me more down and im usually only down because of him any way!
It took about 2 years for our relationship to become purely about money. Money money Goddam money. thats when he became an arse (can we swear here?) and he hasnt much changed since. Sure he still does nice things for me, but dont i know it! he expects a freaking gold star every time.
Let me just get to the current issues pissing me off. We now have a nice 3 bedroom house, i dont see him much (thank God) as hes always working. Well so he says but ive been to his place of work and frankly 60% of the time hes sat around chatting shit with his dumb ass employees, but if i dare say why doesnt he spend that time with me im being unreasonable!
2. Suddenly hes some domestic god and goes around checking everything and telling me what when and how to clean. This from a guy who seems to think hanging every item of clothes he owns on the closer door is as good as putting them inside it.
3. He CONSTANTLY treats me like a child. I mean in as much as 'did you shower today' ' have you brushed your teeth' 'did you tell that nice man thank you for helping you out'. For real, i mean WTF i shower more than him, im obsessive about my dental hygiene and for Effs sake im a 24yr old adult!
4. If hes around me for more than 10 minutes i want to kill him. if we fight and try to sort something out every sentence out of his mouth is 'im not perfect but....' and 'you know you have a problem with...' its not easy living with Jesus, with his levels of perfection, sheesh.
5. Our lil baby, i feel for it i mean we lost 2 babies before this, he wanted the baby and ever since i got pregnant hes made me feel guilty like i tricked him into it or some shit! I mean we planned it and he was the one pressuring ME for a baby for 2 yrs now! But now he realises that surprisingly theyre not self sufficient and not cheap hes made me feel bad about being pregnant, if i mention it he gets depressed about money and he even went as far to say he now regrets it. Well Gee thanks daddy!
6. I just cant talk to him any more, yesterday i had a shit day in work and decided i got to quit, it wont be easy as it was a major source of income for us but the stress isnt good for me or our unborn child. He wasnt an arse about it he said he understood, but come pay day when theres no money coming in i know exactly what he will be like hell make me feel like crap even though hes hardly bringing home the bacon. Even when he hugged me yesterday just felt so empty and meaningless.
7. Sex, yuck. I think its partly to do with me being pregnant sure maybe thats why i dont want it but theres no intimacy in our relationship at all, we only touch if we're going to do it and he kisses me um never. Oh ok a peck on the lips goodbye before work. And seeing as he just makes me feel like dirt every day i dont see how we are going to cultivate it either.

ramble ramble yeah i know but in conclusion my problem is this. We dont spend enough time together BUT i dont want to spend time with him because as soon as i do he says/does something incredibly stupid that in my emotional state just makes me cry. Then to make it up to me he'll try and be all nicey nice but that just makes me pissed off and i want him to leave.
We're not as close as we once were, but i cant feel or get close to him because im so mad all of the time. And then ill get over it and try and make an effort and he'll just do something to make me mad all over again.

Is there a solution? Do i even want one? I mean maybe i should just accept we might be right for each other in a lot of ways but that doesnt mean it will work out. Shit i really dont want to be a divorced single mum, but i care about my baby way more than i do about its dad.

[lesa]

Sorry I did not read it completely.

He was annoying from the beginning and yet you stayed, married, had yucky sex, and now pregnant?

Is this the perfect time to break up?

[Only-virgins]

Ahhhh true love.

[Bokonon]

Many of the things you mentioned sound really hard to deal with. Why not try having a constructive talk with him about what's bothering you? And if that's not possible, perhaps marriage counseling would be a good idea.

[sheri]

Oh my Goodness. What a situation! You do have to remember you are having a baby and so therefore your emotions are going wild. Maybe you should not have quit your job so soon because now you have more time to think about how much you are unhappy with your husband and situation. I believe you both need counseling. If he doesn't go, you should still go. This way, you will be able to work on issues before the baby comes. Do this for you and your baby! Hopefully your husband will start going once he sees that you mean business want a better committed loving relationship.

[amorexplorer]

Wow. While the hormone thing is totally a reality, it sounds like you've got a lot of other stuff coming up. At the end of the day, if your husband is a man you love, I'm thinkin' it's time for some objective, 3rd party assistance.

The anger thing is only going to take you so far, & let's face it, the stress is enough to piss you off whether or not he's even there.

There are counselors, relationship coaches, etc. who can help you both get to the real root of what's under your skin. It sounds like there are some things happening for both of you and the best way to get to it would be to start clearing away some of the sh*t so you can find out what you both really need.