Have i messed up my life?

[killingdesire]

I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 5 years now and recent events have made me think it should stop. Last year we had multiple fights over the course of a week and it ended with her saying we needed a break, maybe see other people. Well i couldnt bring myself to even go near another girl like that because i still loved her, but she started seeing this guy her friend introduced to her the day we started the break. Well after about a week she stopped talking to him, or so i thought, and said to me that she missed me and wanted me back. I did take her back but about 2 weeks after that, i found messages from him on her phone. They were talking like a couple calling eachother babe and stuff like that. i confronted her about it and she said it was nothing and she was sorry. I believed her. But a few months later, we started constantly fighting. After a few weeks of fighting all the time, she told me she thought we should stop and just be friends. I agreed after a while and told her I would only if we started being happier together we could try agan. Well we acted like friends and everything and she started going out with this other guy. She would sometimes ask me to pick her up from somewhere and i would sometimes see her kissing him. It hurt me tremendously. She encouraged me asking another girl out. I was more open this time because i could see we were failing as a couple. So i asked out this girl and we had an intense instant connection. She made me feel the best i had in a long time. We took things really slow, getting no further than just holding hands, when my girlfriend starts getting really jealous and starts obsessing over how much i mean to her and how much of a mistake she made and how she missed me.

Well let me tell you about her for a minute. She is the type of person who never admits when she is wrong. She is extremely jealous, anytime i even talk to another girl she gets all upset and mad at me saying i love them not her. She is very, very controlling. I never spend anytime with my friends because she doesnt like them and gets mad at me when i say i want to hang out with them. And over the course of our relationship i have noticed that our love has slowly faded away to just about nothing.

Now i really liked the girl i just started seeing. She and I were so much alike. I thought i might even love her after just the first few days. But when my girlfriend decided she wanted me back i couldnt figure out what to do. It is just about impossible for me to do anything that will hurt anyone i know. I hate the idea of hurting anybody. But my girlfriend pulls the suicide card, which is the last straw for me, so i gave in and went back out with her.

I am generally a depressed person, i have been for a long time, but the thought of hurting the girl i just started dating hurt me so much. I just really wanted to die because of it. I still feel that way. I cant stand it.

When my girlfriend and i got back together, things went better for a little while. But it all started going downhill very fast. Right now i feel no love from her at all. She doesnt like to be affectionate at all and its like we arent even really a couple.

I really dont know what to do. I have tried almost everything i can think of to help our relationship, but none of it works. Should i just give up and leave her? and if so, how should i do that? i just dont know what to do anymore and i am nearing the end of my strength to keep this up. Please help.

[boobaa]

Firstly, ask her directly where do you both stand right now and where do you stand in the eyes of her.

By your description, it seems she is using you for all kinds of security, but what can she offer? You need to tell her that, because you are human also.

Suicide card was stupid move. Really stupid. Crave for attention and just to get you back -- reasons don't matter at this point. Idiotic. If she is not suicidial person she is not going to do it. But for this, she is worth leaving.

Getting back to her was a bad move, but be with her for a while, but don't take it too seriously. I think you both need to let go rather steadily, take a break not ultimate breakup, and you will see how things will progress.

Don't except too much from new relationship.

[IncognitoSir]

Firstly, dump that controlling B!tch of a gf you have now. Then go have a looong sit down with the other chick you were talking about and lastly get some help for your depression. Your gf is holding you back. She has emotional control over you. Even though you dont even love here, you're still with her......that's a problem man! Don't waste anymore precious time on here......on to the next one!