No straight answer

[cheazypeaz]

okay, so after deciding that the juice is worth the squeeze, and try to jump into that gap she said we could be together in the future, it all seems to be going really bad.

i cant seem to get a straight answer out of her about anything, if i try to do something she has an excuse, she's still hanging out with her stupid mates and im really quite confused..

does she want me? .. is she playing with my mind? .. does she need time? .. is she scared of me? .. or does she just want me to go to hell? .. im so damn confused...

I'm even trying to 'sort out' her excuses of not being able to see me, so that she can. but at the moment i feel like everything i try is useless, and i may aswell not bother.. but then i'd kick myself for loosing her without trying...

help!

[gHEXjt]

.. is she playing with my mind? .. does she need time? .. is she scared of me? .. or does she just want me to go to hell? .. im so damn confused...

Yes to all of the above.

[cheazypeaz]

thanks, thats my suspision too .. lol

[whaywardj]

...i cant seem to get a straight answer out of her about anything, if i try to do something she has an excuse, she's still hanging out with her stupid mates and im really quite confused...does she want me?...is she playing with my mind?...does she need time?...is she scared of me?...or does she just want me to go to hell?...im so damn confused...I'm even trying to 'sort out' her excuses of not being able to see me, so that she can. but at the moment i feel like everything i try is useless, and i may as well not bother...but then i'd kick myself for loosing her without trying...help!

Quite a lot of "I's" and "me's" in your post, Cheazy. Maybe exploring the idea of it NOT being all about you would be a helpful first step toward dispelling your confusion...and, evidently, your stress. The difference between not getting a straight answer and not getting what you want to hear can, sometimes, be very, very slight. And elusive.

[carpflounder]

Just put it in her butt.

[cheazypeaz]

aha, someones on the right tracks.. yes i have pretty much worked out that most of my questions rely on her, and how she feels, but i dont seem to be getting anywhere, she never was great at talking about it. she is fantastic at 'changing the subject' when she dosent want to talk, which dosent help matters on the phone.

its very impractical to see her really, which is all i'd really like, a day out to try and talk to eachother for a little while see if i can get through that thick layer of 'im not telling' and see how the girl is really feeling.

apart from anything i'm really worried for her at the moment, she seems to be pretty damn confused about her life at the moment, and from what we discussed over our 7month relationship, she isn't heading in the right direction.

anyway i just wrote 6 random pages of crap about her, about the things i like, i dislike, what went wrong, how i feel for her, all kinds.. but what to do with it, i dont know!

[whaywardj]

...anyway i just wrote 6 random pages of crap about her, about the things i like, i dislike, what went wrong, how i feel for her, all kinds.. but what to do with it, i dont know!

DO with it? You've already done it. You wrote it. That may be all which needed to be done. This perception you have she's taking a wrong turn for herself, and your apparent desire to DO something about it may both arise from a similar impulse to DO something with things. Sometimes, there's really nothing to do and trying to does nothing but create additional complications.

[cheazypeaz]

I see, thats what i'm worried about now, i dont want to make things worse.. but i dont want to leave things and let them get worse.

i mean the things i could physicly do is tell her i'm done with her and never want to see her, or i could go over and not leave until ive either completely lost, or feel ive done something to help matters.

i dont know, i dont want it to come to either of those, but i feel i'm in a neutral position at the moment and i dont want to do anything drastic, yet try to talk to her calmly to explain my thoughts.

we are still talking, so i cant be going to far wrong. lol.

any other advice?

ps im awaiting a phone call, which she promised me, and said she would tell me if she wanted anything to happen between us, as i asked straighforward to her, if there was any point in me sitting here and talking to her not knowing anything!

spike

[whaywardj]

I alluded to any advice I might have to offer in my previous two. But, more directly, it would be this: Now sounds as if it might be a good time to set all your feelings and concerns for her aside and just LISTEN to her every chance you HAVE (as opposed to chances you may try to CREATE)...without being either cursing or forgiving over anything she does or doesn't do. Operate from your own center and transmit your fond regard for her from there by being attentive without being ingratiating. She'll rise to the occasion you represent. Or she won't. Either way, you'll have put your best character forward. That's about all anyone can ever do. In any circumstance, that alone should be enough for one to maintain possession of his own inner peace, whatever anyone else may or may not do; whatever anyone recognizes. Or fails to recognize.

[Tone]

Oh how I missed Hayward's wisdom, nice to see you again!

[cheazypeaz]

nice one hayward, superb advice, that about sums it up, thanks!

[whaywardj]

Thanks, guys. But it's kind of a conversation-killer, though. Ain't it? In my own defense, I DID try to stretch it out in my first two.

:::Hm. Maybe my ex was right when she said there just IS no talking with me.:::

[cheazypeaz]

LOL !!! i can see why, proved wrong at every point

[chelsee]

hi cheazy, i think you care to much. i was in the same situation as you.

guess what? i stopped caring and he came around

[cheazypeaz]

umm well dont know .. i'm just trying to not bother with her.. the less i think about it the less it bothers me... been feeling much better this evening.

she said she would call me both last night, and the night before.. but she didn't .. i guess that she isn't going to, and not even tell me why.. she hasent made any effort to contact me.

i think i'll just step back and see what happens, if she dosent want me, there isn't anything i can do about that. i try my best...

Thanks for advice,
spike

edit: its 4:27 AM and i cant sleep, cant stop thinking, it sucks.. it honestly does.
i generaly just leave my pc on and listen to music, then i keep thinking about the music and how i'll never get to sleep with it on.. then .. zzzZZzZzzzZzzz

LOL