Fiance cheating with my friend?????

[irishqueen 2003]

Hi and thankyou for reading this as I really need some help. I have been with my Fiance 8years and we have a 5yr old daughter and we have had the usual ups and downs and finally got ourselves to a place we was both happy this last christmas. But in january this year I got friendly with a woman who lives 4 doors away and within 3 weeks she had, had her daughter taken off her and had started to rely heavily on myself and my fiance for support. But one night I saw him wink at her as she was leaving our house and I asked him why as he never winks at my other friends, and he denied he did. Now she is a open flirt she is with all men and women i have ever seen her with. And my best friend said to me to be careful but i didnt listen. My fiance went to work away in April and 3 weeks ago my 2 Best friends went out for the night with this woman and one of my friends saw her phone flashing and it said my fiance name and she asked her why is he phoning you. She walked into the bathroom without answering her. they waited for a few minutes then followed her, her face dropped when they walked in and and she put the phone on loudspeaker and asked him ' well what are you going to do to me then ' and he described what he was going to do to her sexually and how he wanted to please her, and that they will get a hotel and jacuzzi for the weekend so he could please her. And asking her ' are we going to get it together then ' my 2 best mates had heard enough they called him a pervert and hung up the phone.
He phoned her back 6 times but my friends had the phone so they just disconnected it. They asked her what was going on she said he has been after her for ages, grabbing hold of her when im not around trying to kiss her etc...and she didnt know how to tell me!!
They came and told me the following day, since then ive found out from him she texted him say she wanted to sleep with him, she confirmed this and said it was to get evidence for me, but she didnt keep it on her phone and neither did he.
He is now back home and he says he hasnt done nothing wrong it was just talk, and he was going to tell me himself when he got home cos she was getting out of hand. I said very unlikely its only cos you got caught. He has said the same as her nothing happened she now has no friends where we live and is now telling anyone who will listen it was all him and she had nothing to lose by telling me. She didnt tell me. My 2 friends did. He says he loves me and it was an ego boost if that is suppose to make me feel better.
It doesnt and he tells me tonite he went to the pub, I asked him not to go to in case she was there to find out what his friends knew. And he is giving me 6 months to get this out of my system and to end the conversation once and for all. I went mad and told him you cant expect me to forget what you have said to her and disregard it like it never happened.
Please can someone give me advice as my head is all messed up i cant stop thinking about what he said to her, and if he loved me he wouldnt have said it in the first place. But to him he wasnt unfaithful but admits he shouldnt have said it,or like it if I said the same to his friends.

[HeartIsAching]

tl;dr - needs paragraphs.

[LoveBack]

Sorry to hear about that....

It is really hurtful when you knew what your husband said to your friend... but this is really what men always do -- find ways to flirt and sleep with someone that is easy ---

You better be careful of your friend, as I believe she is the one gives "signal" to your husband as well....

[KelE]

So He gave you a time limit of 6 months to drop it and get over it. OR what?? That just struck me as really insensitive. I had a long time ago X say something like that to me. In a way he was right, If I couldn't get over it, I needed to get over him. I did neither and he did not change. So, I just wish I would have been stronger at the time and dumped him instead of trying to work thru things that I was never going to be ok with. If you didn't have a child with him it would be a no-brainer because if he is a cheater, he'll do that when you are married and it will be even a bigger mess. Even with the fact that you do have a child together, I still think his behavior is a big red flag. I think the best thing would be to not be afraid to find out the truth. Do whatever you can to find out the truth and if he was hitting on your friend or worse if he cheated, you need to let him go.