I'm sorry...if the love of my life were to return and ask me back right at this momen

[fatalfeather]

This may not be a big problemto some, but its confusing to me , hope you can help.

There is this guy in college whom i've known for about 3 years now. We're both seniors at our college and in our final semester. WE've always been good friends, best friends even. Having lunch everyday and walking back everyday together for almost 2 years now.

What started out as an interest for this guy, grew into a crush and finally i can admit i really like this guy.
Whenever we hang out though, he often never fails to talk about his ex though. As a friend i was willing to listen to all his problems.

He broke up with his previous girlfriend of 6 years about a year ago. There were threats coming from a extreamist religious group who were against their relationship. Him being a muslim and she a christian. To break it off, he called her and told her he doesn't love her anymore, an obvious lie, but he had to do it, or so he feels. He doesn't want her to do something stupid like oppose that group or something. He regrets doing so. Now he tries to contact her, to explain himself, hoping that she would take him back. She blocked off any form of contact with him, and eventually she furthered her studies overseas and they haven't spoken since. All of his belongings in her place were even mailed back to him.

He always tells me, he's unsure if he can move on. Its not my place to force him. He has to figure this out himself. As for me though, after hearing him talk to me about this so many times, i get more and more afraid to confess to him. Eventually, after some thought, i decided to go through it anyway. I do not want to regret.

Now, 3 weeks before graduation, we were all busy with finals and i asked him out for a quck dinner. He agreed. I popped the question then and confessed to him. He confessed to me as well. I was happy, who wouldn't? The next thing he said, came totally unexpected. " I'm sorry...if the love of my life were to return and ask me back right at this moment, and you were my girlfriend, I'd drop everything...I'd dump you on the spot." I don't know what to feel, to be grateful at his brutal honesty, to feel sad? I'm not really sure. I take this as a sign that he can't mo0ve on. To end our conversation that night, he said " For now, i will remain your best friend,i don't want to be unfair to you, to think of her when i'm with you,to lose you over a college fling( a what ifpossibility he explained to me about later on ), and..you're studying abroad soon, i don't want to hold you back."

Okay, fine, I'll remain his best friend, sometimes, thats more than enough for me...

The next day, he stared acting different. He hardly talks to me, he ignores me. Is what i worried was going to happen, happening to me right now? No replies to my msn msgs, my phone msgs. The way he ignores me, is not exactly obvious, but i can even personally feel the chemistry feeling between us slipping right before my eyes day by day. What ever happened to "I'll remain your best friend?" . Is that all sweet talk? Its been a week since i've confessed to him. I feel even my status as a friend to him slowly slipping away. What is he doing? I need an outsider's opinion. It hurts, to see even my relationship with him as a friend fading. Is it, i shouldn't have even confessed at all?

Again, ths might be a small matter to some, but i would really appreciate some help. Thank you in advance for those who replied

[Doc Durian]

He has a stringent set of specs for a relationship. Traditionally, his parents would have set it up, but he has the modern option.... so he's hung up on that and the girl he's felt a kindred spirit with.

Be his friend.....put your romantic possibility out of your head.... He can't cope with two options where none preceeded.

His situation takes a special kind of love.

(at least by western standards)

Love him as a friend....as a person... and let that go where it may.

You're inbetween a rock and a hard place.

As is he.

See what comes.... it's about your relationship...not the terms.