How to finally win her over?

[andrew2604]

Hey.
I need some help.
I've been seeing this girl for the past 10 months as we were both getting out of our marriages.
we work together and we just fell in love and we couldn't help it.
I have a child with my ex wife.
However this was the case the whole time we had a fling.
I know its very irresponsible and bad of me to have had an affair however when you fall in love with someone what can you do?
Lets call her "B"
B wanted to be with me and didn't want anything more, in July we accidentally fell pregnant while we were no longer with our partners.
during this time of us not knowing I have been getting the final pieces in place or clean divorce with my ex. She is doing the same.
Unfortunalty she suffers from a case of anxiety and minor depression.
About 3 weeks ago we went out and I was going to ask her to be with me and she said just wait a bit. This was after 10 months of her saying to me lets be together every.single.day.
the Monday after so 3 days later after we spent the Friday and the Saturday sleeping together she told me she needs time on her own.
We were still talking and are every single day, we are not hooking up with anyone else the only difference is we are not sleeping together or kissing or anything.
Last week she had an abortions and is now regretting her decision. she said if she had of kept it she wouldn't hesitate to be with me.
she had it without telling me and told me the day after.
she has told me over the last few days she loves me and there is a part of her that knows she will be the happiest person ever with me.
she also said that whats holding her back is she needs to get her head right and the fact i have a son with another woman.
my situation with my ex is very clean, we are not fighting anymore and i see my son along with the guidelines of the court orders.
I need help ladies.
What do i do to show her that all of her struggles can go away, shes having her space yet she cant seem to stop talking to me.
she messages me all day everyday. 72 times today to be in fact.
Over the weekend i was at my best friends bachelor party and she begged me not to hook up with another woman. It wasn't even on my mind at all.
If shes scared of the fact i may hook up with another woman and dosn't want me to, tells me she loves me and ill make her so happy but is just scared, and says her head is not right...how do i make her realize with me she will be alright?

I'm asking you ladies because if you were her what would you want me to do for one?
On the flip side if you were in my position what would you do?

I appreciate any response, this woman is the absolute love of my life and id seriously move haven and earth to make her smile just once.

Much love to you all, Andrew.

[Snow White]

Dear andrew2604, I really feel for you and this woman. Affairs and divorces can be extremely difficult. There can be so much judgement from others when they find out someone else "caused" the divorce when of course, no one else can cause you to leave a marriage unless there was already a base of unhappiness there.

When you are having an affair, there may be a sort of fantasy going on and when the opportunity realistically comes up to be together, it can be very scary. If you have been in an unhappy marriage and then the opportunity comes up to be free, it can be quite confusing.

All you can do is support her and let her know you love her. She has to be willing to seek out professional help so she can deal with everything that has transpired. Having an abortion and then feeling threatened by a child you already have is a serious thing.

The fact that you have a child with your ex and she aborted your child may be tearing her apart. Have you discussed why she decided to do that? I think that is something very important to discuss. It sounds like there may be a lot of guilty feelings involved. Both of you were deceitful with your significant others and perhaps she feels you are capable of doing the same to her. In my opinion, I think therapy would do her a great deal of good. Perhaps, also, couples therapy.

She seems very confused and is obviously suffering. Using your son is a poor excuse since I assume she was always aware of him.