What Changed?

[EasierToFall]

So me and this guy have been dating on and off since may of 08. We have dated a total of 3 times, once in mmay, once in september and we are dating now. Both times i was the one to break things off and for different rteason each time. The first time it was becasue i didnt think i was IN love with him...at least no in that way. Howver i soon began to miss him and we got back together in september. We dated a while until i broke up with him in october. This time i broke up with him because i realised that my best friend was in love with him. My bf and my bff had known each other a lot longer than me and him and i had always though they had a thing for each other. It was just the way they acted and some things they said...so despite the fact that i really did like him i broke up with him. About a month later they started dating..and despite the fact that i helped get them together....i hated that they were. I HATED seeing them together...it made me want to start crying and want to throw something. They dated and i started to distane my self from them adn made it so i didnt have to see him anymore to try to keep myself from missing him but it wasnt helping. Anyway after a while my other friend realised i was upset and me and her got into an argument about love. I had become a lot more pessimistic about it then i used to be adn she wanted to know why. Well when me adn ehr started arguing i was getting more and more upset and finally i blurted out angrily "No i'll fall in love with someone who will fall for my best friend instead".



After that my friend finally got what i hadnt wanted to admit to even myself. Not to long later my ex found out that i still liked him nad we ended up getting back together. Well this tme around its amazing. ITs so different than how it was before and i cant figure out why. Now just the thought of him not being there makes me want to cry whereas before it wasnt that big of a deal. I constantly want to be with him and talking to him when before I would get sick of him and feel smothered. I just can't figure out why... what makes this time so different that I feel so much more. We are essentially the same people we were before.... so why is everything so much stronger?

[Lite]

Because you're stupid. You didn't care about what you had until you lost it because you inherently don't actually value your boyfriend. It wasn't until you saw him happy with someone else that you actually cared.

You're just happy to have what you're familiar with back in your life.

[Mish]

I constantly want to be with him and talking to him when before I would get sick of him and feel smothered. I just can't figure out why... what makes this time so different that I feel so much more. We are essentially the same people we were before.... so why is everything so much stronger?

Your fear of loss made you more clingy because you became afraid of loosing him? I don't know, it doesn't sound like it's something that will last. It sounds like the two of you are together for all the wrong reasons (though on that note, I know some people who are together for wrong reasons as well and so far they've lasted for a year).

[carl1222]

I'll be SLIGHTLY kinder than Lite but not much different.

You broke up with him twice ... the second time for about the dumbest reason I've ever heard ... what sane girl gives up her current boyfriend because her best friend likes him too??? And what self-respecting "bff" goes out with her friend's ex???

So, you've been playing with this guy for nearly a year, and you finally got bitten by infatuation. You're probably feeling a bit of what he felt each time you dumped him.

But as you seem to have gotten him back now, I'm wondering what concerns you? I would think that how you feel about him now is exactly what you want to feel for your boyfriend ... unless you like the idea of having complete control over him, and your stronger feelings are getting in the way of that.

Carl.

[vashti]

I constantly want to be with him and talking to him when before I would get sick of him and feel smothered. I just can't figure out why... what makes this time so different that I feel so much more. We are essentially the same people we were before.... so why is everything so much stronger?

I think you feel more clingy because you know he was willing to go out with your "bff" once before, and therefore you don't trust him.

Anyway, this whole scenario sounds very Jerry Springer.

[Gigabitch]

I'll bet your bff is sticking pins in her little EasierToFall doll right now...