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Thread: I ended it

  1. #1
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    I ended it

    Hi,
    I am very new here however I would like a male perspective on my situation.

    I broke up with my boyfriend after 7 years of a unhealthy relationship. We were fighting alot and it was getting to us both. I ended it a few times within the 7 years but came back (me wanting this back) a few times he wanted it back. Anyways after the breakup I moved to a small town (from a really big city) I know no one here and there is just me and my daughter (not his child). Today i woke up feeling sick. I have not felt this way since I left. I have been happy but today for some reason I want to cry.

    I emailed him (I set up a email addy for him he does not know much about computers) I texted him and told him that I had emailed him and gave instructions on how to get into it.

    he checked it gave me my info that I was asking for then that was it. I know i hurt him but how can anyone just walkaway and be so cold? How can he just move on? Do guys really get upset after the breakup or do you just move on. (no i am not a child) but through past relationships it seems to be that way. Is there every a point where your done and there is no turning back? even as friends? I hate it that people try to get together and in the end it does not work out however I found that alot of relationships turn into the best friendships.

    Why do guys think so different

  2. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    Sorry for the end of your relationship. Its a tough time.

    But for your answer: guys compartmentalize. You aren't dating anymore, so the mental door that was 'relationship' closes.

    It doesn't mean he's not hurt, but guys don't tend to show weakness as readily as women.

    Leave him alone. Everyone deals with pain differently.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by babymouse39 View Post
    Hi,

    he checked it gave me my info that I was asking for then that was it. I know i hurt him but how can anyone just walkaway and be so cold? How can he just move on?.

    Why do guys think so different
    I cant believe you would say such a thing. You broke up with him after 7 years and moved to another city and now you cant understand how anyone could walk away?

    If your sick because of the break up you have no one to blame but yourself. Accept the decision you've made and move on with your life because it sounds like your boyfriend has.

  4. #4
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    Tug You Need More Info!!!!!

    hey Tug,

    No to tell you the truth I am not sick at all... Ya I moved for a job that he said I would never beable to get in my life.....

    I got the job and I am happy .... after the breakup he said he never wanted this to happen however he EVERY SUNDAY!!!! would say he was going to leave me ... he was moving out and he did not want to be there.... Well I ended it.. why is that sick?

  5. #5
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    Sounds like a jerk. You must've been young when you started dating him to have put up with that crap for so long.

    Who cares what he thinks? If he's a turd, FLUSH and think no more of him.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  6. #6
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    Well, all guys are different and react differently to breakups... but just because he isn't showing weakness doesn't mean he isn't hurt by it.
    "To perceive is to suffer."
    -Aristotle

  7. #7
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    Ya he sure can be a turd... But tonight for some reason I checked that email and he was online... He seen a email from me and read it then deleted it. No i did not expect him to respond as he really hates computers.. I gave him no indication that I emailed him cuz really I wanted to get it out but I did not want him to see. it why the heck is he checking it ramdomly now... I guess to see if i emailed as no one else has the email address.
    really I am a person that has to always have the answers nd when I can not figure them out it drives me crazy!!

    Thanks for listening ...

  8. #8
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    Yeah, that is a long, hurtful relationship. I had an ex who would fight with me all the time. We would break up, get back together, break up, get back together. She would also put me down a lot. It took me a while to recover from that. Ultimately, I ended the relationship and I just forgot about her. I treated her like she no longer existed. I think you did the right thing and I would just forget about him. Sounds like scum to me. The thing about garbage is that you just have to throw it away and that's what you did. So, don't care about him so much anymore. Forget about him, and move on. You made a mistake and you will learn from it. Best of luck in the future!
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

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