Feel second best to my boyfriend's ex and no photos of us on facebook

[Rumi123]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and things are going well, he's very affectionate and lovely to me but I am so hung up over his ex. I am afraid we started seeing eachother when he was still with his ex; although they had already planned they would not be staying together as she would be moving back to France, they were still living together. But they are definitely over now.

Anyway, so things are going well, however I cannot get over the fact there are so many photos of the two of them on facebook, on holiday or just out and about - some albums my boyfriend has put up and some photos put up by others. A couple of months of seeing eachother, we went away to Spain where I tried to take a few photos of us, but he was like "No, put the camera away" because he felt shy. Well, a few months later, I found out it was because he didn't want to upset his ex in case I put the photos up on facebook. (I understand this, but why not just tell me that at the time??)

So we went away again recently - ten days in Morocco. Well...he was very trigger happy with the camera this time. I was a melodramatic woman, stating I would take pictures but not to worry as they wouldn't go up on facebook due to last time. He told me I was being an idiot and that he would be taking loads of pictures and be putting them up.
Well he certainly took photos, but not put any up on facebook, and it's been a couple of weeks. I just feel he is SO all talk and he is very clever in making out as though he's doing something when he's not.

We did break up for two months in April, one of the reasons being I thought he wasn't over his ex...we got back together after he kept on calling me, wanting to get back together despite my attempts to cut all contact from him.

If I tagged photos of him, I don't think he would mind...there have already be two photos of myself and him tagged by someone else up there...hence the reason I'm confused.

I hate the fact that he is in regular contact with this ex and their photos are there in my face on facebook yet none of myself and him. Am I over-reacting? What should I do??? I'm at a loss and feel so upset. I know I should just get over it because he loves me, and a lot of people think facebook is silly, but how can I when he regularly goes on facebook and in these modern times when facebook is such a big thing, how can I get over it? I WANT him to out photos up of us!!

[Cerby]

Facebook...Is this really where relationship problems come from these days?

Rumi, are you happy with him when you're together? Do you trust him? Do you see a future with him? If the answer to all three of these is "Yes", then forget the Facebook thing. I understand that you feel he has more pictures of his ex up than you, but that was a different relationship that FAILED. If he does the exact same things for you as he did for her, then failure will be the outcome again. He will put up pictures when/if he feels like it, and if you try to force him to do it, it will just create more conflict.

Do you have self-esteem issues by chance? The fact that he isn't showing you off via Facebook to all of his friends and it bothers you might mean you have little or no confidence in how you think he feels about you. You may also consider politely asking him to remove those photos of her and just see where it goes.

[oldskool83]

let facebook alone, people were in relationships with out showing and telling the world before it, and they will be after it. facebook is good for nothing BS, i dont even use it but to post stupid shit to people i know in person.

I will never again list on facebook who i am dating or married to or what not, its just bullshit...not needed look at my fantasy fake life crap.

[Maple1714]

Ugh FB....I had an ex tell me recently that he has been keeping up with me/my life via FB. What an idiot. Try giving me a call, you live 3 miles away.

Anyway, it's no fun when you are with someone who keeps in regular contact with their ex. I personally don't think that should be happening. Just have a real honest, non-dramatic conversation about how ALL of this makes you feel. I think the FB/picture thing is really not a big deal tho...what is a big deal is whether or not he is over his ex....you just have to ask. Express your feelings and be honest. Post some pics and tag him if you want too...who cares...if he cares then he is not someone you should be calling a BF.